The First Step to Find People Who Value Your Work

  Poor Vincent Van Gogh.

When he died at age 37, Wikipedia tells us, “His work was then known to only a handful of people and appreciated by fewer still.”

But did his work find an audience? Are there millions all over the globe who love his art?

Yes. I am one of them and I bet you are too.

It’s too bad he didn’t have internet marketing or a resource like creativity coaching. If he had, he might have been able to feel the fulfillment of knowing that his work was touching millions.

It’s one of my goals with creativity coaching to teach you how NOT to be like Vincent Van Gogh, in the dying-young-and-unappreciated aspect of his life.

Before we had the internet (and right now for the people don’t know how to use it effectively) an artist had to sit around, hoping some critic, patron, or gallery took a fancy to her work.

But now there are nearly two and a half BILLION people getting online every day according to this source. (http://www.internetworldstats.com/stats.htm).

Does that mean you can find an audience for your spider-web-inspired, splatter-painted greeting cards?

Yes.

Does that mean you can find an audience for your hand-painted, custom-fit, silicone mermaid tails?

Yes. (see https://themertailor.com/)

Does that mean you can find an audience for your  erotic zombies-in-space novels?

Yes.

Does it mean you can find an audience for your paintings of plates of fruit?

No.

Because everyone paints plates of fruit. It’s not authentic.

Now, if you are obsessed with fruit, and can show in new and unusual ways that you genuinely are obsessed with it, then you might find an audience. But most people know that an artist who is painting plates of fruit is an artist who doesn't know herself well. She doesn't know what really turns her on, lights her up, or makes her feel the deep and searing emotions we all long to feel.

So to find people who value your work, my dear, first find your voice. And that doesn't mean searching high and low. It simply means discarding everything that isn't authentic about yourself, and exploring what is really in your heart to explore.  Your voice is already inside you, but it’s often buried beneath layers of approval-seeking and fit-in thinking. (Hint, your “thing” is probably something you've been obsessed with since you were 14).

ARE YOU FEELING SCARED?

Afraid people will laugh at you, think you are immature, “too much,” “not enough,” boring, weird, insane, or otherwise judge you?

Well, those feelings of yours mean you are on the right track. Explore that place.

And people will judge you. But many, many more will love you. Your work will touch them deeply.

Start exploring your most authentic self as the first step to finding people who value your work.

 Take Action

Leave a comment below if this resonated with you, and if you have any questions about this post, I will be happy to answer them below.

Start exploring your most authentic self, make art from that place, and find people who value your work within a few short months.

How To Be Magical

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One of my first memories of magic was thanks to my grandfather, who I used to call Bill as a child because I couldn't pronounce his favorite nickname. When I was just a wee piglet (as Bill would say) I loved to visit my grandparents at their home near Lake Barcroft in Falls Church, Virginia. During these visits, my grandparents would often take me to my favorite beach on the lake — Beach Four. Sometimes Bill would take me by himself to the lake. He used these one-on-one times to teach me magic.

My Bill would set up elaborate (at least they seemed to then) treasure hunts by writing messages in the sand. The messages would lead me from the beach to the parking lot, to the lifeguard stand, to the water’s edge, and to a small patch of trees near by.

Towards the end of these treasure hunts, I would often need to find a magical leaf. I’d bring the most beautiful leaf I could find to Bill, and he would examine it closely, eventually finding the small magical text that only he could read because of his magical powers.

The leaf would say “Throw me up in the air, and wherever I land, dig a hole, for there you will find buried treasure.” I’d throw the leave up, and start digging in the sand with my little plastic shovel. I went to Bill. “There’s nothing there!”

“you have to keep digging,” he’d say. I kept digging.

Eventually, he would say “I think you need to go down to the water and rinse your shovel off.”

So I’d run down and rinse the shovel off, and when I’d come back, somehow, just covered in sand at the bottom of the hole, was a beautiful dollar coin or an amazing glass thumb marble with colorful swirls inside.

Of course, eventually I figured out his trick, but that doesn't take away the magical aura of those childhood memories.

Much later in life, when I became a fairy princess, I learned in great detail, exactly how to do magic tricks. It’s a lot of work. It’s involves rational thinking and spatial skills. It requires planning, study, the right tools and equipment, and a whole lot of confidence and flair. But almost nothing beat seeing the amazed expression on those kids faces, and knowing that I created memories for them that they will treasure just like I cherish my memory of Bill’s treasure hunts.

From this I am reminded that life  is about creating magical moments for other people, and appreciating the magic that other people bring to our life.

IT IS NO ONE’S RESPONSIBILITY OR DUTY TO CREATE THESE MOMENTS FOR US.

We must create them for ourselves and for each otherout of love. That’s why we are here.

 

The Often-Missed Secret to Connecting with Anyone

A very dear friend of mine, let’s call her “Saundra,” was devastated when she found out her husband was having an affair. After finding out, she spent the next year or so trying to decide if she should divorce him, or if it was possible to forgive him, and what that would mean for her life. Her many friends surrounded her with love and support, having many angry conversations about Saundra’s husband that included helping her to express her sense of rage and betrayal. Saundra’s best friend felt the most rage of all her friends, since she felt she’d been used as a pawn in the affair – as a way to keep Saundra out of the way while the affair continued. After many hours of counseling sessions, many months of separation, and many meetings with lawyers, a magical thing happened. Saundra and her husband began to fall back in love. They learned why the affair had happened, and they both took responsibility for it. He asked her forgiveness, and he began to gradually earn back her trust. They moved back in together, and now, year later, their marriage is stronger than it ever has been.

But remember Saundra’s best friend? She couldn’t understand how Saundra could ever love her husband after what had happened. Instead of accepting that Saundra could love and forgive her husband, Saundra’s best friend continued to speak with bitterness about him, and to avoid any conversation with him at social events. So Saundra lost her best friend, because this best friend missed the secret to connecting with anyone:

The secret:

LOVE WHO THEY LOVE.

It’s a key secret that many people miss when trying to connect. And when I say “connect” don’t worry, it’s not a piece of jargon like the word “network” or “leverage.” When I say connect, I mean another form of “love.”  As whole-hearted artists, we believe in love. We love our friends, and we love our customers, and we are always seeking to learn how we can love people more.

This secret is simple, isn’t it? Yet it’s a major reason why friendships break up. (I know more people than Saundra who have lost a bestie because their friend didn’t like the man they fell in love with.)

This secret works when trying to connect with people who can help your business. Find out who they love, and find a way to express that love, connection, and appreciation in an authentic way.

It works when speaking before an audience. Think about what’s important to the audience. Who do they love? What do they love?

IT’S VITAL WHEN CONNECTING TO YOUR CUSTOMERS.

Do they love leg warmers? Chai lattes? John Mayer?

If you can connect with the thing someone is especially tender about (like taking back a cheating husband) or the thing someone is a little embarrassed about (like an obsessive love for a cheesy movie) than you’ll have their love and loyalty forever.

What if you can’t love it?

So, what if you realize that someone you want to connect with loves legwarmers, and you HATE legwarmers?

Well, if you can’t love what they love, don’t fake it. Just take it down a notch. If you can’t love who or what they love, then accept who or what they love. Simply trust that there are good reasons to love what they love, and keep an open mind. At some point down the road, you might just find yourself rocking some legwarmers and loving it!

TAKE ACTION:

Leave a reply telling us who or what YOU love (and might be a bit embarrassed about.) Open up and let us connect with you!

AND FOR BONUS POINTS

Let us know about an area of your life where you had an “AHA!” breakthrough and see where you can “love who they love.”

Jotting down your comments helps every member of the Fairy Tale Life community learn and grow together. And that’s part of why we’re here, right? To help each other.

As always, thank you so much for being here. I truly value your presence, your heart, and your art.

Let's Talk About Making Money

I totally hear your heart’s deepest concern about following your passion and doing what you love, creatively speaking.

You've told me in so many different ways what your main question is regarding your art:

Is it sustainable?

Can I make a living?

Can I make it work?

Can I do this full-time?

Can I succeed at this?

Can I support myself financially?

How do I make this profitable?

Will I have consistent income that I can actually live from?

Will I run out of clients or projects?

IT’S THE MONEY QUESTION.

I used to believe that when it came to the way we earn money, we had to pick something “realistic” or,  at least come down from the airy-fairy world and be “practical.”

Then I found out about a company full of professional fairy princesses. I was so excited, but wasn't sure if I had what it took to be one – or even if they had any job openings. A few weeks later, I found out this company had an opening. I interviewed and got the job. I worked for a year and a half as a professional fairy princess. This completely changed my outlook on careers. Many little girls dream of being a fairy princess, but that dream is soon squashed by adults around them who say dream-squashing things like “fairies are pretend.” Nope, not pretend. Real. Fairies are real and they are making real money. Not a bazillion dollars, but an actual, decent, fair wage.

Bottom line? If I can be a fairy princess, you can be anything you want… an artist, writer, painter, world-traveling acrobat, or whatever!

SO HOW DO YOU DO IT?

If I had to distill down the money stuff to one article, and give you specific focus points, (which I do, because I want you to have the best information possible) I would tell you  eight things:

1. Cultivate a number-neutral attitude. Whether you are thousands of dollars in debt, or have thousands in savings, the numbers are neutral, meaning they just are. They aren’t good or bad, and they aren’t positive or negative. They say nothing about who you are right now. They don’t mirror your character. Should I say that again? They don’t mirror your character! They don’t reflect who you are right now. Money has nothing to do with your true identity.

2. Cultivate a sense of abundance. If you have five dollars in your pocket,  appreciate it. Don’t confuse this with thinking the five dollars is part of your identity (see #2), but just be grateful for the five dollars. Being thankful is the KEY to cultivating a sense of abundance. Don’t just be grateful for  the money in your pocket, but ALL the abundance in your life. Perhaps you have an abundance of health, or an abundance or friends, or an abundance of canned corn in your kitchen. Whatever it is, you are rolling in it. YEAH!

3. Be open to your businesses looking different than you originally envisioned. The money-making spot is where your passions and strengths overlap with what the world needs. This is a big overlap space, with lots of room for all artists to make a living. However, the overlap might surprise you. If your community of buyers, clients, or customers looks different than you thought they would, be open and accepting of that, and embrace them. They are your people, even if you thought they would be different people. Love them.

4. Embrace help. Do you have an independent streak? So do I. It’s a huge gift, but also something to regard carefully and beware of in business. Success requires making requests of people, and the steps that grow your business significantly will involve seemingly mind-boggling acts of generosity from other people. For example, someone with a larger customer base might introduce your stuff to their customers. Your significant other might do the dishes a dozen times while you are studying your art. Your best friend might volunteer to provide snacks at your book launch party. Accept these as gifts. Thank them. You also give generously to others, which leads me to…

5. Give generously. Especially give to those you are tempted to view as your “competition.” Give appreciation, offer connections, and offer support. These folks are not your “competition,” they are your colleagues. This is called web-thinking or partnership thinking, and it requires an abundance mindset. The second group of people to give to are your customers and would-be customers. When you find those people who are willing to pay for what you have, treat them with the ultimate respect, love, and appreciation. Give them presents

6. Charge money! It’s your job to make it clear to people that you run a business. When pricing your stuff, find the sweet spot that seems and feels fair to your customers, but that involves a bit of a risk for you. Setting prices should be a little scary. You should ask for a little bit more than you think you can get. Then watch your business boom.

7. Remember that it’s not just about money! Focusing only on money will lead to burnout, and no body wants to be a burned-out artist. That job description usually involves long, sleepless nights, alcohol and drugs, and an early death. I believe in sustainable artistry. For an approach to your art that will keep you physically, emotionally, spiritually, AND financially healthy, follow my 12 Royal Rituals for Art and Income. (You get that info-drawing when you sign up for my free updates. Also, I write about the 12 Rituals constantly.)

TAKE ACTION:

Leave a comment telling us which of the 7 steps you would most like to focus on to grow your creativity business!

Jotting down your comments helps every member of this  community learn and grow together.

As always, thank you so much for being here. I truly value your presence, your heart, and your art.

4 Ways to Avoid Being Hoodwinked

Prince Charming and I visited Greece as part of our 2012 honeymoon. Our taxi driver from the Athens airport to our hotel near the Acropolis was named Giorji. He was so cool he even did a magic trick for us. After de-planing, we’d  withdrawn cash from the ATM. 200 Euros. The problem was, the machine gave us four 50 Euro bills. When we arrived, we wanted to give the taxi driver a tip, although our grand total on the meter was almost exactly 50 Euros. Charming handed over a 50, and we began whispering about the need for a tip and to check our bags for spare change. Well, sometime between handing the fifty Euro bill to Giorgi and his hand receiving it, it turned into a ten! Amazing! He held it out for us, embarrassed-looking. “This is a ten,” he said, his expression that of an indulgent parent who has caught his child making a mistake on their homework.

Well, we knew we hadn't given him a ten. In fact, our whole problem of the moment was that we didn't have any small bills. We politely thanked him for his display of magic and left the car.

Just kidding. When we refused to give him more money, he said “are you sure?” and accepted our “ten,” possibly cursing us under his breath. Shaken and distressed at Giorgi’s attempt to rip us off so convincingly, we got out of the car, breathless and eager to put some distance between him and us.  Later, we found out it should have been a flat rate of 35 Euros from the airport. He wasn't even supposed to use his meter.

It’s a common fear — worrying about being conned, hoodwinked, bilked, ripped off, or scammed. Especially as we build our creative businesses. There are so many services and products being dangled before us, promising to help teach us more about our art, or to give us the skills to sell it more effectively and profitably.

HERE ARE 4 WAYS TO STEER CLEAR OF HOODWINKERS:

1. Be familiar with your money.

Know how much you have, and where it’s going. We did this in the taxi in Greece, and it saved us from getting totally scammed.

2. Be extremely wary of anyone promising instant solutions – especially those that require a recurring monthly payment.

Google the heavens out of them. Google their name or business together with the word “scam” and see what comes up. Make sure they have a return or refund policy you can live with. See if there’s a way you can get to know their products or services for free. That leads me to…

3. Get their stuff for free.

In the services industry, most true experts have a desire to see people succeed, and will give away a lot of their stuff for free. I do this. It gives you time to get to know me, and know that what I have to offer is helpful and valuable. You can decide to work with me or not, but either way, I want to see you succeed. That’s why I share so much free expertise.

For other, non-training based businesses, look for free trials and return policies that include shipping for physical products.

4. Let go.

If you have a run-in or a close encounter with a scammer, here’s how to let it go. Don’t try to forget it happened, or downplay how violating it can feel. Just take a deep breath, and feel your present-moment emotions.  Let the emotions naturally pass. Talk about it with a friend. Then put yourself in the scammer’s shoes to cultivate compassion. Their life must be full of hardship, pain.

TAKE ACTION:

Is there a time when you were scammed or almost scammed? How did you avoid it, or what lesson did you learn?

Please share your story n the comments section below.  This can really help every member of this community to learn how to deal with the hoodwinkers of the world.

As always, thank you so much for being here. I truly value your presence, your heart, and your art.