How to Turn Conflict-Zone Living into a Video Game
Welcome to the first Packing Lust post of 2014! I'm so excited to get back to posting after a nice, long, good-for-the-soul holiday break.
Let me set the scene for you. It was mid December, and Charming and I were looking forward to our family's visit with warm anticipation. We decorated. Charming made a star-shaped tree topper out of aluminum foil whose star shape would later be called into question.
Morgan (BFF, land lady, and co-owner of the cafe downstairs) did an AMAZING job decorating the restaurant, turning its already warm atmosphere into a festive tribute to the season.
And then, as if perfectly timed, it started snowing. How quaint. I took this picture with plans to show you what I assumed would be a light, pre-Christmas dusting.
But then it kept on snowing.
And snowing.
And snowing. Until we were completely snowed in. Except for Jelly, who is an unstoppable canine force.
The power was out for days. Propane was running dangerously low. Charming was fielding calls from freezing employees who didn't have a way to heat their homes, but who were more concerned about the run-off flooding Gaza and displacing thousands. I spent a day downstairs with Morgan and Saleh complaining about how cold I was. They let me sit in the spot closest to the fire, piled blankets on my shoulders, and put their dog in my lap. I went out at one point and got into a life-or-death snowball fight with strange men. I survived and promised Charming (and myself) I wouldn't leave again during the storm.
The roads out of town were closed. My vision of greeting my family at the airport wouldn't come true.
When they landed at Ben Gurion Airport, they had to make their own way to a hotel in the city. Little did we know, Tel Aviv was sunny and practically balmy.
As soon as it was remotely possible, we got into a 4-wheel drive vehicle and headed for the beach. Getting out of town was like leaving the wreckage of a zombie-desolated city. Cars were sliding all over the road. At one point, I left the safety of the Jeep to make a mad dash over ice for an ATM. Armed with cash, a first aid kit, extra water and blankets, we started our journey to the coast, neither of us sure if the roads would be open or passable.
We made it. It took twice as long as normal, but once we were out of the treacherous hills, it was an easy trip. It was so great to finally see my family and enjoy a Tel Aviv coastal sunset.
I should note now that this isn't my entire family. My dad and two more siblings weren't able to make it for this trip. Maybe next time. We had such a wonderful time with our smart, funny, loving, and very patient and gracious family. We made sure their trip included lots of good food, starting on our first night together in Tel Aviv.
The next day it was back to Ramallah, where the snow was melting.
Charming outdid himself with his breakfast spreads. We ate.
And ate.
And ate.
and ate.
And went all around both Israel and Palestine, including an emotional visit to Hebron. Very few people were around, except for the TIPH observers. (Temporary International Presence in Hebron).
The family were good sports the whole time, turning the challenges of 3rd-world living into levels 1-5 of a video game. Level one being getting through passport control, and level five being a moment in Hebron when, upset Charming hadn't tipped them enough for their (unrequested) services, a huge gang of boys surrounded our vehicle and tried to trap us in the parking lot they had lead us to by closing the gates. We escaped our would-be captors by a very narrow opening. Perhaps our good luck was due to all the holiness, including a trip to the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem and the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem.
Here they are stooping low to go in the door that was made small to protect the Church of the Nativity from marauders on horseback, and presumably, tall people.
We took them out to Ein Kenya, which is a beautiful spot of nature near Ramallah, and home of Juthour Arboretum. We got our exercise, and my mom, brother, and sister managed to hang out looking like models for sunglasses and active wear.
We went to Jericho and on down to catch a view of the Dead Sea.
The trip gave me the opportunity to do some Gensplaining. I love pretending to know what I'm talking about.
Prince Charming got to do some tour-guiding as well. It was a pleasure when our visitors were so open-minded, curious, and eager to talk about the joys and challenges of the region.
Seriously, family, your visit and wonderful mindset rocked and made every minute fun.
I thank all three of you for being intrepid & adventurous,
positive and resilient in the face of obstacles and setbacks,
and extremely stylish and radiantly attractive.
I was so sad when you packed up to leave.
We love you!
How to Make Jibneh (Guest Post by Prince Charming)
How to Make Jibneh by Prince Charming
Simple White Cheese
Ingredients
Instructions
- Heat two liters of milk in a pot until it is almost too hot to put you finger in. Don’t let it boil. turn off the heat.
- Immediately add ¼ cup (125 grams or so) of white vinegar or the juice of half a lemon, mix.
- Let sit for 20 minutes until the curd and whey have separated (when you see white chunks of cheese floating in yellowish liquid, it is done)
- Strain this through a cheesecloth. I usually tie this to my kitchen faucet and let it drain overnight, but if you want to eat it immediately just ball the cheese in the cloth and press it until most of the whey is out.
- Add a couple pinches of salt and mix.
- If you want paneer or queso blanco, you can press the cheese slightly using heavy cans or jars set on top of the cheese in a carton. Here is how it looks pressed:
Sawtain! (Double Health = Bon Appetit!) *** Al albak (right back atcha -- literally "to your heart") Prince Charming
Day of the Catastrophe
My Brother's Wedding & Back to Palestine

It's always a challenge getting back to our little slice of heaven in Palestine. Last time my taxi home from the airport broke down, forcing me to hang out on the side of the highway for an hour while a replacement came.
This time, our first flight was late, meaning our entire trip became delayed by almost 24 hours. Then upon our arrival in Tel Aviv, we discovered that the airline lost all three of our checked bags (one was filled with books donated to a local library, but yes, we still traveled with a rather un-minimalist amount of stuff). After filing an incident baggage, we jumped in the special cab reserved for us (not one in the regular queue, which can only travel within Israel) . After a trip free of engine problems, we finally arrived home.
Home to our garden gate, that is. Morgan, our neighbor, rushed out to meet us at the entrance, explaining that we couldn't go into our house yet and it would be best to wait in the cafe for ten minutes or so.
Apparently, the bees, who live in a hive on the roof, had escaped. A swarm of them was filling the hallway
entrance to our apartment, thereby blocking our entry. Exhausted from our voyage, we just had to laugh. We waited ten minutes, and then gingerly stepped our way through the remaining cloud of confused, tired bees to our apartment. It was wonderful to be home and great to see Jelly Bean.
The last leg of our USA trip included my brother's beautiful wedding and then a trip to the family cottage at Holden Beach.
I practiced my photography a lot at the wedding, snapping some portraits with Prince Charming's 50mm lens.
NOTE: These photos are in a very small size because the internet is very, very slow right now, which means each photo is taking several minutes to upload. I will wait as long as it takes to upload my favorite photo from the wedding in a larger size, so when you see the bigger photo, you know that's my favorite.
New Birthday Camera!
I've been practicing shooting in manual a lot. Some shots of my beautiful home here.
Prince Charming views my new hobby with pride only slightly tinged with jealousy of my brand new equipment. He's wanted me to share this hobby with him for a long time, and has taught me the basics of aperture, depth of field, exposure, shutter speed, and ISO. I learned a lot from his assignment to shoot a chessboard.
But my favorite thing to shoot has always been people.
Heroes and Villains
Sunday, May 26, was a lazy day for me and Prince Charming. We had some movies lined up to watch, and the first was a documentary called Five Broken Cameras.
Just a couples hours later I've still got post-cry shakes. However, I also feel very glad that this documentary exists, because the end is hopeful, and the story is so human.
It's about a Palestinian man, a peasant who lives off the land, and gets a camera to film his kids childhood. His youngest son is the cutest little guy ever, and I fell in love with him over the course of the documentary.
The story is told through the five cameras he gets in succession, each after the last one is broken, often by a flying gas canister or related accident. Through these five lenses, we see what the camera saw in its life, and we see the story of how each camera met its end. Of course, what we are really seeing is the story of the families in this Palestinian village that is on the edge of several Israeli settlements. We see the wall go up, and we see the olive trees burned over and over by the settlers at night. We see the soldiers come to the homes at night to take children. We see people tear gassed, we see them throw rocks, and we see a man committed to nonviolent resistance gradually become scarred and angry as he sees what is happening around him. We also see, most hopefully, that he is always trying to heal in the best way he knows how.
I loved this film as a reminder that we must heal ourselves and each other, and to heal we must, like a doctor, first see the wounds. We must be witness for each other to the atrocities that take place in our lives.
Once you've seen the wounds in Five Broken Cameras, go watch another film. This one was part of a coaching training program in leadership, indirect negotiation and strategic intervention. Anthony Robbins has been studying what makes people change their lives for a good for many years now.
He had a conference on leadership planned on September 11, 2011. Instead of canceling after the terrorist attacks, he somehow got people to stand up and really speak the truth about how they felt about the event. There was a Muslim man who got up and said "this is retribution." Well, of course many people wanted to attack him, and even tried to there at the conference. One man, an Orthodox Jew with relatives in the West Bank (fundamentalist settlers - the kind of people who burn Palestinian olive trees) got up and offered to talk peacefully with the Muslim man.
Robbins led an indirect negotiation between the two men ON 9/11 itself that transformed both of them. They formed a Jewish-Muslim organization for understanding and peace.
I laughed and cried watching that film. It's called Negotiating Conflict: Leadership in Times of Crisis. According to this website it's available in full-length for free, although you can watch a 7 minute summary here.
We all wonder how peace will come to the Middle East and other areas of ethnic and religious conflict. The sorts of transformative moments shown and experienced by the viewer in these two films is our only hope for peace.
And now may I bring you from May to July?
A few days ago:
"What do you think happened? It had to be something tragic." I looked at my American friend, who has lived in Palestine for much longer than I have.
"I don't know. Something beyond tragic, I think," she said, looking at me intently.
I didn't know exactly what she was getting at, but I did know that is not what you say when someone loses a child. Losing a child is tragic, and one of the worst things that could happen to a parent. I could think of few things beyond tragic.
We were talking about a mutual acquaintance we both saw on occasion, ____ , a woman who lives in a nearby village. We had both known _____ to be cheerful, with a quick and genuine smile. Although she spoke little English, I enjoyed when I got to see her, since she would always communicate through her shy, dazzling smile. Knowing that she was a poor, kind, and intelligent woman who worked hard to support her special needs daughter and her dissolute husband only made me admire her more.
The last time I saw her, she tried to smile as usual. And her mouth moved. But her eyes failed to hide a pain that was too big to push behind a smile. I am haunted by that telling look - her attempt to smile as I said goodbye to her.
"I think someone must have done something to her child," my American friend said.
At first, I was confused. But then I realized -- "If her child had died, she would have just told us."
"Yeah."
The next day, my American friend looked rather pale, and told me she'd seen an article in the paper. A 14-year old girl from a nearby village had been gang raped by a group of seven men, each between the ages of 17-26.
I grimaced. "That's horrible."
"Have you put it together yet?"
"You think… it was ____'s daughter?" I didn't want to believe it.
"It must be."
"How do you know for sure? We have to find out."
How do you call someone and ask, in imperfect Arabic, if their daughter was recently gang raped? I don't know, but my brave American friend managed it, and later confirmed that the victim was indeed ____'s daughter.
My friend also told me that this group of men had gang raped before. Yet that time, each of the families of the men had paid off the victim's family to not press charges.
The story showing up in the newspaper meant ____ had refused to take a bribe from these seven families and was pressing charges.
I likely don't know all of the ramifications of that decision, but I do know that this poor woman is turning down much needed money to support her daughter and fight for justice. She's making a decision that some other parent her in village did not make for her little girl. She's a hero.
I also know that means there are seven families in her small village who want nothing more than to shut her up. Seven powerful families who are now aligned as her enemy - this poor woman whose special needs daughter was lured into an apartment only to be beaten and raped by their sons.
How can we help her? We are working on connecting her with a lawyer specializing in women's legal aid. My hope for her is that, if she wants it, she can gain refugee or other status that will allow her to leave with her family to start a new life in a place where her daughter won't spend the rest of her life fearing the seven men who will likely not be brought to justice. Then again, we can hope for justice.
And you know I wouldn't leave you without a way to take action - to do something to help ____. The Women's Centre for Legal Aid and Counseling is reaching out to support her. You learn more about them here and donate here.
The Moving Story
Meet Our New House
I'm writing this from my new desk in a room I painted blue with a white heart on the wall. In front of me is a window looking out in onto a veranda where I can see Jelly with her paws up on the ledge, looking down at the street from our second-story view.
We are in Ramallah. Prince Charming and I were so sure we were going to move to Jerusalem, that I almost posted that a while back. Instead, I opted for "seriously considering." Which we very much were.
But then a funny set of circumstances happened. Right as we were making the decision to up and leave Ramallah, seeking what I referred to as a "cleavage neighborhood" (defined as: 1. A place where, if one wanted too, one wouldn't be stared at/harassed/spat on if the division between one's breast were to show above the neckline of one's shirt 2) a place in the crack/seam between Israel and Palestine because we can't live in Israel proper for professional/political/ethical reasons), we met friends.
Specifically, I met a friend on the day my other friend told me she was leaving the country for good. I sat at a cafe with this other friend, sort of sad, and wanting to order a drink. The menu at this cafe had all sorts of yummy cocktails on it, one of which I ordered. I really wanted it, but the server said they were out of whatever it was they needed to make it. "Well, what DO you have?" I said as bitchily as I could, thinking Of course. No cafe in Palestine ever actually has what they advertise on the menu. "Any of the other ones," the waiter said. "Why don't you just tell me what you actually have so you don't have to keep checking," I said, or some such. He wandered off, and shortly, a tall, energetic American with long curly hair and multiple piercings bounded over and sat down with us. "Can I help you?" she asked, pointing at the cocktail menu. And that was how I met Morgan, who is married to the Palestinian who owns the cafe, and who has lived in Palestine for about 9 years.
After what my mom aptly called a "whirlwind romance" of a friendship, that included hiking, discovering a shared love for rescuing dogs, DIY, organic food, Pinterest, and puppets, among many other things, and discovering our husbands' shared love for planning projects that they may or may not follow up on including cheese-making and beer-making, we decided to move in with them. Or, more precisely, to move in above the cafe they run and live behind.
We are happy because Jelly now has a garden to run around in, and other doggie friends. However, I think it was the chickens with their daily fresh eggs that did us in. Or the fresh lemons and grapes from the orchard outside could have tied the knot. Or maybe their organic garden of fresh greens and the Vitamix blender that came with the apartment allowing me to make a green smoothie this morning from these ingredients:
Prince Charming would vote that it's the endlessly flowing cheeseburgers (best in town) & Guinness downstairs. What I really like about this place is that it's right next to the city center, so I can walk to the market, yoga, and dance class without getting into a smelly cab.
Finally, I got to paint it those bright colors I love, y'all. Enough words, it's time to show you some before and afters.
I did a lot of the painting, but I wasn't the only one painting and doing the mountain of work required to make the place polished. Morgan and her husband and dad, the carpenters, as well as my Prince Charming and another friend did a whole lotta work. And the work continues. We are decorating it using cast-off furniture from a carpenter's pile of extras, some new stuff, and a whole lotta DIY creations.
Now you know why I haven't blogged for a month. Whew! I can't believe we are actually in. Last night was our first night in the place, and it was a good one. I'm feeling so grateful and happy.
Packing for Someplace You Visit Frequently
Today's guest post comes to us from my Prince Charming, who generously offered up this advice after I generously complimented his speedy (ten minute) packing for a trip to Gaza. Considering it still takes me an hour to pack, I was impressed. He makes this trip to Gaza so frequently because he has a lot of work to do in the Gaza office of his organization; he sort of lives there for a few days every couple of weeks. This information will be helpful to you if you:
a) Often travel to the Gaza Strip. b) Often travel to any one location (for example, you travel to your sister's house every couple of weeks to accompany her to medical appointments). c) Are a minimalist international (or national) traveler.
How to Pack for a Split Life in Gaza
By Prince Charming
For a visit every two-three weeks, when you start traveling each time you come, bring at least one or two items you can leave behind. The things you leave behind should be
toiletries
a pair of jeans
a clean white t-shirt
pajamas
flip-flops or slippers
a hat
a sweater
extra socks
underwear
If you arrived as a minimalist and only have one of each of these things, slowly acquire cheap extras as you build up your Gaza closet. In an ideal world, if you will have lots of important meetings, it is good to leave a sports jacket or suit behind as well as a tie or two, one tone no fancy design, in blue, yellow, or red.
I brought in an extra flashlight, travel alarm clock, and two pictures of my wife (can I get a collective "awww" says Genevieve) for my bed stand.
Once you’ve got a basic after-work attire settled there, all you need to bring in is work attire. I usually stay 2 – 3 days at a time.
My usual clothes packing list is:
2 pair khakis
2 -3 pair socks and underwear (enough to leave at least one clean pair of each behind for the next visit)
2 t-shirts, exchange with the last one you left behind
1 Work sweater if winter
1 – 2 long sleeve knit shirts or button down depending on weather
1 jacket, casual if no special meetings planned
1 pair of shorts if summer
In the event that I have to stay longer than three days, there is a washing machine available.
I also bring:
dual-sim card cell phone (to cover the trip from Palestine-Israel-Palestine,)
Kindle
travel umbrella if looking like rain
reading glasses
a snack
R2-D2 (a small good luck token - see above photo)
my work laptop
phone charger or mini-usb cable for phone charging on laptop
I usually bring a phone charger, but that is only because I’ve been too lazy to pick one up in Gaza. An even easier approach is to bring a mini-usb cable and charge the phone through my laptop. A travel speaker such as our Jawbone is good if going for a longer visit. I take the projector from my office and use it with my laptop and speaker to watch movies in the evening.
Of course, you can assess the local market and buy within Gaza as needed too if you don’t want to shuttle items back and forth. I bought a chess set and cards locally for the guesthouse in case anyone else is staying aside from me and wants to play a match. You can get a pocket knife locally as well; don’t bring one across the border, and don’t bring any spirits either.
Having done this, it now takes me ten minutes to pack for Gaza and for a while I was leaving with less than what I brought it.
Let's do Jelly Shots
And Chocolate Cake
This weekend was filled with simple pleasures. I baked a chocolate olive oil cake. I recently read in a book called Deep Nutrition that most vegetable oils, such as canola, destabilize quickly after production, making them a little bit toxic for human consumption. According to the book, olive oil stays stable for longer, and is therefore much healthier than canola. I was happy to find a recipe with olive oil in it because I was craving chocolate cake and we are practically floating in olive oil here. In fact, a walk around town is marked by vendors, mostly elderly ladies, selling their own homemade olive oil in repurposed containers. We currently have this Sprite bottle filled with aromatic local olive oil.
I used some of it to make my cake.
It was a deeply chocolaty recipe that used almond flour as well as regular flour, so it was nutty, dense, and slightly fruity with the olive oil. I served it with a whipped yogurt coconut topping.
When I eat something really sugary, I try to eat it with yogurt, since otherwise the sugar upsets my internal balance of flora and fauna resulting in infections. The yogurt provides pro-biotics that restore balance to keep everything healthy. The yogurt also provides protein so I feel more stable and don't get the sugar high/crash affect. We all know refined sugar is unhealthy for SO many of our body's systems, but if you love it and eat it once in a while, it's nice to know how to keep your body from freaking out from it.
Anyway. Let's move on to Jelly shots. I had a request from Natalie for more Jelly shots, so since I'm sure she's not alone in her desires, I'm providing more cute doggie photos right here. This is Jelly's favorite spot in our house. As you can see, she's a very smart girl:
She's a bit camera shy, so it's hard to get a photo of her holding still, but I did manage to capture her with her ears sort of up this morning by singing. When I sing to her, she gives me this quizzical expression, twisting her head side to side to figure out what is going on.
Everyone who meets Jelly says "she's so skinny!" which is true, but which also makes me feel like I'm not feeding her enough. For your information, she eats a lot. She eats more than my parents' dog who is twice her size. I think she's just a naturally skinny breed. She's extremely agile, alert, and quick on her feet, and this attentiveness must burn a lot of calories.
Jelly at Mulberry Springs
This weekend, and last weekend, we took Jelly to a place we drove by called Mulberry Springs. It's just off the road that is for the District Control Office (Reserved for Israeli military, NGO workers, and whoever else the soldiers decide to let pass). Last weekend Jelly got to romp and play off the leash while we hiked up the large hills that surround a creek bed. Jelly was hoping to get to play off the leash this weekend too.
We were thankful for beautiful weather, a rare thing, thus far this winter season in Palestine.
When we got out of the car this time, the first thing we noticed was a large flock of sheep on the next hill over (I didn't get a photo). The second thing we noticed was the way Jelly's vomit had decorated the side of the car when she puked with her head out the window while we were driving.
I was ready to run. I started jogging, hoping that Jelly would keep up like she did last time. I leapt over the creek, but she lagged back, look fearful. It was then that I saw the large dogs guarding the flock of sheep. I'll just run right by them, I thought. I would have to run the trail under them, but then I would pass them and go up another nearby hill. Jelly uncharacteristically hung back. When I got almost directly under the flock of sheep, I heard and saw the three large, furry dogs barking at me. I stopped and stared at them, trying a) to gauge how easily they'd be able to come down from the very steep hill they were on and b) to not act like prey on the Discovery Channel. My stopping was all they needed. They began charging down the hill, taking a small switchback trail I had not seen before. I considered running, but knew I was outmatched for speed. Just when I was preparing my most aggressive fighting stance, they got to the bottom of the hill and raced towards Jelly, back at the creek picnic site with Prince Charming. I felt instantly relieved, and then my protective instincts kicked in, and I ran after the dogs. I watched as Prince Charming, backed my Jelly, barked fiercely at them. They came to a screeching halt and ran away, up the creek bed.
I tried again. I ran the same path with Jelly cowering on the leash next to me and with a tube of powerful pepper spray in my right hand. This time when we passed the dogs and they started barking, I simply barked back. They let us pass. Jelly and I were rewarded with a glorious run up, up, up the long hill to a patch of green (green!) grass and blue sky at the top of a hill. I lay down on the soft grass and for the first time in Palestine, felt completely safe outdoors. There was no one around. I couldn't see any soldiers or military towers or security walls. Just me, the grass, the sky, and my fierce guard dog Jelly.
Later I working on training Jelly and tried to grab a few more Jelly shots. Here's her "sit" almost wiggling off the camera:
And here's her "down." Good dog.