10 Books to Read in in 2018
Find a cozy couch corner and snuggle up with a vouched-for book. Last year I read four dozen books and took notes. If you like the same things I like, (mainly memoir and motivational or business nonfiction) this list could save you hours browsing Amazon and take you straight to the good stuff.
These are my top 10 favorite of the 48 books I finished in 2017. It was hard to narrow it down to 10, because I typically abandon books I don't like, (meaning I enjoyed all 48 books I finished) but I did finally whittle it down for you.
This list includes affiliate links so I make a small percentage (at no cost to you) if you click through and buy a book. I've linked to the format I read, so if I read it on Kindle, I linked to the eBook, if I read it in paperback, then I linked to that format, and if I listened to the audio book, I linked to that. Thanks for supporting my blog.
Happy reading!
Gabrielle Bernstein's latest (at the time) book had all the new-agey, straight from the heart, Real, spiritual-but-not-snobbish stories and advice I could want about making decisions from a place of love instead of fear.
9. Contagious
Most business books I read go in one ear and out the other. But thanks to his S.T.E.P.P.S. acronym, Jonah Berger's book is one that I remember and actually apply when I want to make something ( a blog post, a book) as shareable and viral as possible.
I will usually devour anything Anne Lamott writes, this book on the three core prayers being no exception. In my imagination, Annie is my writing godmother and she has an on-again-off-again relationship with with my writing godfather, Mark Twain. Clearly, era is no obstacle in my imagination.
7. Love Warrior
After finishing this book, I wanted to ask every woman I know to read it. Glennon Doyle was born with no insulation around her emotional wiring and she just lets the current fly. It hits you right in the heart and zings everywhere. Read it and then google what's happening with her now because the ending has a mild cliff hanger.
6. Big Magic
I challenge you to finish this book without having started writing (or whatever your creative calling is) before the end of it.
If you like raunchy feminist comedy from a self-described "trash receptacle" (The incredible Amy Schumer) then you'll laugh your way through this no-holds-barred, memoir-ish jokefest.
I've read just about every self-help book out there. This one takes all the traditional advice and turns it on its head. And somehow ends up being really inspiring, just like the traditional advice. The cliff-edge ending (not a cliffhanger) really stuck with me.
This is part memoir about losing a loved-one to brain cancer, part love letter to a lost husband, and also part of the "things I want my child to know as he grows up" genre. It's sweet and funny and sad and heartbreaking, and ultimately beautiful and uplifting. Also, Mandy Moore likes it. “Thank you for the perfect blend of nostalgia-drenched humor, wit, and heartbreak, Nora," says Mandy.
2. Essentialism
I've written and read a lot of stuff about minimalism, but this book manages to hone in on exactly what makes focusing on only the essentials so powerful. It applies to corporations, small businesses, managers, and individuals.
1. The Big Leap
I finally read this self-help modern classic that's been recommended to me over and over. I can see why it's so beloved. If you've heard the phrase "upper limit problems," but aren't really sure what it means (my situation before reading this) then this will give you the answer for how to break through the limits that are holding you back.
BONUS: The Wealthy Creative
Because what kind of indie author would I be if I didn't plug my own book? It's really, really good. Get it. I interviewed dozens of creatives all making a living from their work and organized their answers by the vital practices and habits we all need to succeed. Reviewer Steve Garvin calls it "upbeat, encouraging, valuable." He writes, "I rank The Wealthy Creative right up there with Steven Pressfield's The War of Art and Austin Kleon's Show Your Work."
Small and Large Graces on a Tough Day
I'm slowly reading Small Graces by Kent Nerburn.
Each chapter is a short, gentle reflection on "the quiet gifts of every day life." Today I feel the graces I've received are more like Large Graces. I've had a rough day, a day that found me with two flat tires, crying (for various reasons) while walking down a hot, dusty road next to a car dealership, unable to connect with any friends or family (for the moment) due patchy service in this small town.
I found a coffee shop hoping to borrow the bathroom, cry my eyes out, and splash some water on my face. When the woman behind the counter asked me how I was doing, I told her I'd been having a rough day. Her response was so deeply kind and caring that I started crying again -- this time happy tears. Then I talked to my mom and my sister and they were so full of grace and understanding even though when I'm feeling fragile I can be taut and combative.... and self-centered.
This minimalist nomad life is (for me) so fabulous and dreamy that I can't believe it's real sometimes. It just feels so wonderful that we created this and get to create it every day. But it can also be hard; it can be challenging in the way that all unconventional lifestyles are. Creating this every day, putting myself out there as an author, coach, and consultant takes constant creativity, focus, unshakable confidence, and an ability to wear a stunning variety of hats. I love it, and I'm so grateful for the opportunities I've been given to live this life. But sometimes life is hard... and I have a day where moisture builds up behind my eyes... a lot.
So this afternoon I'm grateful for the Large Graces of caring family + friends and strangers in coffee shops. With gratitude, I can create anything I can imagine, and I do. You can too.
2015 in Review (and Favorite Books)
It's time to sum up the year on Packing Lust! This is my fourth year doing this, and it's one of my favorite ways to get the big picture and remember the year as a whole. In 2015, we didn't travel outside of the U.S., however we certainly did some significant traveling and moving within the states. It was a family-focused year as we learned to parent and watch Bump thrive over the course of his first year of life. Our doggie, Jelly Bean, spent a few months living with my parents and then reunited with us in Washington, D.C. in October. At the end of the year we moved again (yes, just a couple days ago) and we're having fun in our new city.
Favorite Books
Of the dozens of books I read this year, my top three favorites were:
- Dying to Be Me -- A kind of spiritual-health memoir by Anita Moorjani about her near death experience and subsequent speedy healing from cancer. She shares her unusual experience in vivid and convincing detail and what she learned about the importance of living fearlessly and as true to her self as possible.
2. Me Before You: a Novel -- I've read two Jojo Moyes books and both placed one of their main characters in the type of ethical quandary that most of us will never have to experience. This one is about the relationship between a paralyzed man with a death wish and one of his caretakers. I loved the masterful storytelling and the way it helped me see the central question from several perspectives.
3. Life in Motion: an Unlikely Ballerina -- Misty Copeland's memoir reveals her journey to become the first African-American principal dancer at the American Ballet Theatre. I loved the window into the life of an elite dancer driven by the pursuit of excellence. Most of us will never experience being a prodigy in anything; this books lets you share the excitement of being 14 and discovering that you are one of the world's most naturally talented ballerinas. I was also impressed with the storytelling; it manages to be a page-turner even though we already know the happy ending to the story. I laughed; I cried. At one point I had to put the book down and dance alone in the room just to express the triumph I shared with her. This book is for anyone who ever worked hard on a dream and had to overcome unexpected obstacles to achieve excellence.
By Month
January
Having had baby boy Bump in late November 2014, I was two things: A) tired and B) excited to maintain my writing habit and keep the creative juices flowing.
To help out with A) I featured a guest post on creating a digital vision board to inspire your travel dreams and B) I did a 7-day blogging challenge.
February
My only post for February was a 2014 year in review piece. I guess I was still sleep-deprived from those early months as a new parent.
March
This month I launched SimpleLivingToolkit.com where I help people to declutter and join the simple living movement. I kept getting advice to narrow down/focus what I do to help people with my business (it's so hard when I do a variety of things, both to help people and just to express my creativity) so this new website was my answer. Join other simple living enthusiasts by signing up here.
April
This month I felt that it was time to share what I'd learned about about two things. One: self-publishing. Two: keeping things simple (stuff-wise) when you have a baby. Check out the very shareable "Minimalist Baby" list.
May
This month we took a romantic-foodie trip to Myrtle Beach while my parents took care of Bump. Fun and yummy. 
Another fun outing was the Dance of the Spring Moon powwow.
Also this month I launched my "Start a Daily Writing Habit" email coaching series. It's awesome and a great way to kick start yourself if you want to write more in 2016.
June
I posted my first and only packing related piece this year in June. It's about how you pack differently when you become a mommy and how certain things are less glamorous than... I thought they would be. I also blogged about a couple trips I took to Charleston, South Carolina.
July
We moved from Lumberton, NC, to Arlington, VA and I wrote about the ups and downs of big city life with a baby.
I reflected on how simple living lets me enjoy textures and details.
August
Though my book on habits to help you make money from your creativity is very behind schedule, I did work on it this year with additional research. I posted this month and later in the year when I found articles about creativity and about the changing landscape of making money as a creative.
Don't worry ; I didn't let the year go by without publishing. Prince Charming and I co-wrote a book called Simple Kitchen and published it this month to Amazon Kindle and Audible. It's a quick read you'll want to check out if you like keeping things simple in the kitchen without sacrificing the cooking experience.
After moving to the Washington, D.C. area last month, we enjoyed exploring our new city including a trip to Teddy Island.
At the end of the month, Bump (his nickname on the blog) turned 9 months old and we took photos in a park in our Rosslyn neighborhood in Arlington, Virginia. I shot more people too.
September
We explored the Washington, D.C. area. You know us; it was all about the food.
Creative types may enjoy my notes on an interview that Elizabeth Gilbert gave in which she talked about fear and creativity and being a grown-up.
October
We moved within the D.C. metro area from Arlington, Virginia to the Columbia Heights area of Washington.
I traveled to Black Mountain, North Carolina, reuniting with a bunch of family on my mom's side to celebrate my grandmother's 80th's birthday.
November
We enjoyed exploring our neighborhood of Washington (Columbia Heights) on foot and living car-free. On the blog, I wrote about a memory of a snow ball fight I had back in Palestine in 2013. Bump turned one this month and started walking just before he hit that milestone birthday.
December
We moved to Los Angeles on the eve of Christmas Eve. Now, rather unexpectedly, but very happily, we're back in the city where Prince Charming and I met over five and a half years ago. I'm looking forward to what life in this city over the next year brings.
"Make a Plan to do Something that You'll Enjoy"
On October 3rd, my maternal grandmother, Peggy Paparella, celebrated her 80th birthday. As you can see from these photos, she's vibrant and beautiful (with remarkably great legs) at this age and seems ready to take on a new decade. She has filled her life with love, creativity, service, and travel, and plans to keep doing what she's doing. (It's working, after all.) She seems to really enjoy her life and the love she shares with my grandpa, who she's been married to for fifty-five years.
Grandma has figured out how to wed her creativity with her desire to be of service. She does this in several ways. She gave birth to six children, which any parent will tell you, demands a great many acts of service. Nowadays her creativity takes the form of cooking, baking, sewing, crocheting, knitting, and crafting. She donates many of her hand-made items to be sold at auction to benefit the local Hospice. Other items she gives away to one of her thirty-one descendants.
So how is it possible to be so prolific while maintaining her energy and joy? Grandma hasn't always had an easy life, and her childhood and adolescence was difficult at times. Yet she rarely complains. She practices kindness and forgiveness and has a soft, tender heart. Grandma also has a very active spiritual life, praying many times a day and starting each day with a written back-and-forth conversation with Jesus. In my family we say "if Grandma's praying for you, watch out." God seems to listen to her more than the rest of us, so if I have a tough situation, I call up Grandma and Grandpa and I don't even have to ask; I know they are praying for me. For years they were praying for my future husband, so you know I'm not kidding around when I discuss the efficacy of their prayers and the special place Grandma has in God's heart.
Grandma credits her physical health to "living with a man who likes to eat well and eat healthily," which makes her want to eat healthily too. She said this with the barest hint of chagrin; grandma's love for bread, pasta, and sweets is well known and has been passed along to many of her progeny.
She keeps things low stress, and says she doesn't have much anxiety in her life, except, she adds with a twinkle in her eye, when Grandpa is driving their big RV, which is one of their favorite ways to travel.
She also keeps her mind active by reading a lot. She recently told me she'd just gotten back from the library with a huge stack of books, which she'll consume quickly. When her supply of unread books starts to dwindle, she starts getting nervous about running out of reading material. She wrote me that, "Time to read a good book is one pleasure that I reward myself after I get my work done on some days. Other days it could be a craft project or baking cookies or knitting something special for the great grand babies."
She says "A wise woman once told me, wake up in the morning and make a plan to do something that you'll enjoy." This idea of having something planned each day that you can look forward to, a way to get back the sparkle when life seems dull, exhausting, or depressing, has stuck with Grandma and helped her stay happy.
Elizabeth Gilbert on Fear, Paradox, and Being a Grown Up
I listened to every heart-grabbing minute of this interview. It hits the bullseye of what I believe about creativity and fear and taking smart, measured risks with your creativity.
If you don't want to watch all 47 minutes, 57 seconds of this interview and you'd rather read my notes, this is for you.
Why You Aren't Moving Ahead on Your Creative Project
- People come up with all sorts of rationalizations
- These reasons for not doing it all sound so logical and reasonable
- The underlying reason you aren't moving ahead with your book/painting/etc., according to Elizabeth Gilbert's vast experience of deep conversations with creatives, is fear.
- Some people are afraid that it's all been done before and they want to be original.
- It HAS all been done before. But it's never been done by you.
- Marie Forleo: "Everything is a Remix," I think it's a book to check out.
- There is nothing truly original because we are creative creatures, there are billions of us, and we've been creating for millenia.
- Do it anyway because, paradoxically, since you are unique, you can make something original. It will, however, always be a twist on, or at least contain references to something else.
How to Conquer Fear
- Don't try.
- Treat fear as a respected friend whose job it is to keep you safe.
- Bring fear along for the ride but don't let fear make any decisions about what you create.
- Fear thinks uncertainty will be the death of you, and it's job is to prevent your death.
- Creativity is all about uncertainty, so that's why fear speaks. Say, "thank you for protecting me but I'm just writing a poem. It's not going to kill me."
What it Takes to Live an Enduringly Creative Life
- Even your dream career comes with "shit sandwiches," (i.e., rejection letters and mean comments on social media) so get ready to eat some. If you're unwilling to eat the shit sandwiches that come with your dream, then you probably haven't picked the right dream because you will happily eat the shit sandwiches if you really love the creative work.
- Following our creative bliss promises joy and fun, not financial gain
- We're all grownups here, so let's talk about this:
- Take big risks (sell the farm, quit your job) for your creativity only to the point where if you fail totally and lose it all, you won't be embittered or so broken you won't be able to try again in the near future. Throw yourself into your creativity without risking so much (time, money, relationships) that failure breaks your spirit.
- This conversation about going for it - within limits specific to your life - doesn't happen enough.
- Failure is part of it and shouldn't be shameful.
- Most life coaches, etc, just say "go for it!" But inspiration never promises to pay our bills. Inspiration promises us the wild ride of our lives. The results MIGHT pay the bills sometimes but don't quit if it doesn't.
- Elizabeth wants to change the bumper sticker from "Leap and the net will catch you, to "Leap and the net MIGHT catch you."
- Leap any way. Just be happy to pick yourself back up and dust yourself off.
- Marie Forleo worked "day jobs" (bartending, etc.) for seven years before her creativity-based business could support her. Now it brings in millions annually. She kept taking the right kind of risk, which is the one that lets you keep risking even if (when) you fail and fail.
- I'm good at doing this and love coaching creatives to walk this line.
How to Beat Perfectionism
As my mother always taught me, done is better than good.
Elizabeth Gilbert
- Yet again it all comes down to fear.
- Often perfectionists don't finish things. Worse, they often don't start them for fear of making crap.
- Self-forgiveness is what will get you to finish your creative project, not rigor. (SO TRUE!)
- We all think that first day of writing, that first novel, whatever, is crap, something to be ashamed of when we look back from the perspective of writing on day two or the second novel.
- "You forgive yourself for disappointing yourself... and you go and you do more. And that's it." - Elizabeth Gilbert
Play with Paradox
- The paradox of creating is that you love your work and think it's precious, but simultaneously you must be able to be cavalier toward it. Trash a beautiful sentence you wrote if it's not working for the whole paragraph.
- Once a book is published, let it go. It is not you. It's not your baby. It's out there in the world. Move on. Paradox: it totally is your baby, of course.
- Another paradox is around helping people. Do your work if it brings you joy. It's great if it ends up helping people, but don't set out to serve. (Note from me: serve by teaching if you have students, but when you create, just do it for fun.)
- Eat, Pray, Love, was written for fun at a time when her life was a "hot mess." It ended up helping people but she certainly didn't write it from a desire to serve.
I have paid hundreds -- probably thousands -- of dollars for seminars on writing and creativity that don't do as good a job dealing with the voices of fear and inspiration in your head, so if this interview seems up your alley, you'll love watching the full video. There was also a section around minute 25 on the interview where they go fairly deep about preparing to for a public speaking gig (with Oprah). That's worth a listen if you are a speaker or performer.
This interview was centered around Elizabeth Gilbert's latest book:
Painting Your Own Career
It's such a good time to be a creative! I was so excited reading Steven Johnson's August 23rd NYT Magazine cover article "The New Making It," today because I have an upcoming book (long delayed) about making a living as a creative in the digital economy. Johnson looked into the numbers to tell us what has seemed apparent for a while now: The internet and digital economy makes it easier to build an artistic career (for those who are entrepreneurial and want to interact with fans/build an audience). And writers, musicians, and filmmakers are doing it successfully in greater numbers. "On the whole," he writes, "creators seem to be making slightly more money, while growing in number at a steady but not fast pace." And "[...] the trends are making creative livelihoods more achievable." The article focuses on musicians, opening with Lars Ulrich's fear in 2000 that Napster (and free music) would kill the music industry. It has dramatically reduced it. But it hasn't killed musicians. The actual creators (not the labels and executives) are thriving.
Now that it's easier than ever to create and get one's work out into the world, critics worry that the lowering of the barriers to entry also lowers the quality of the creative work, that the masses entering creative fields will generate work that appeals only to the masses - to some shared base human tendencies, like a fascination with Kim Kardashian. But Johnson lays out some evidence that this is not the case. He also includes one of my favorite definitions of quality in the cultural sphere that I've read, writing, "All these numbers, of course, only hint at whether our digital economy rewards quality. Or -- even better than that milquetoast word "quality" -- at whether it rewards experimentation, boundary-pushing, satire, the real drivers of new creative work."
The book I'm writing will focus on the principles and habits needed to succeed as a creative in the digital economy, something the article only touches on briefly. In short, artists have to be willing to create their own path, to shape and form their career in the same way they shape and form a painting, book, or sculpture.
To find out more about my book and when it will be coming out, sign up for full moon updates.
Summer Family Portraits
- couples
- engagements
- families
- mamas and babies
- birthdays
- anniversaries
I love taking pictures to mark special moments, milestones, and celebrations. I love how an image can capture a fleeting expression, a laugh, a moment of delight, thoughtfulness, or mischief. Also, my mom always quotes my grammy as saying, "You'll always look back at photos and think you looked good." Or something like that. The idea being that even if the mirror isn't kind to you today, the passage of time will give you a new outlook on your past attractiveness.
There's also the fun and creativity of doing "just for fun," photo shoots, which I have done with many of my friends since college. It's the grown up equivalent of playing dress up. It is playing dress up, with the addition of photos to remember the fun. I did one of these shoots with my friend Leena, where we did dramatic makeup and tattoo shots. You can see those photos here.
Also, I personally believe there is a bit of magical power in these fun photo shoots. I think seeing beautiful photos of yourself and your family can help us remember and appreciate what is important.
I do love to imagine, whimsical though it may be, that the photos I take of friends, where we play and enjoy and act and pose and dress up, do have some life changing magical power. I think portrait photography can help you see yourself in a new way. You can see your soul when you look at your eyes in a photo in a way you can't when you look into the mirror.
Textures and Details
One benefit of simple living is the space it allows me to appreciate and create instances of detail, texture, and beauty moment-to-moment. I've been collecting close-ups in the form of photographs lately. Here are a few of them.
Some will say that art, or creation, thrives in a state of chaos. Envision the stereotype of the studio piled high with canvasses filled and empty, paint brushes, scattered fruit. See the cliche of the writer behind her desk, hidden from view by books, pages, and files stacked high.
I find that controlled chaos, or what I prefer to think of as curated or chosen chaos, is helpful for making connections that wouldn't be made otherwise, like how crashing into into someone at a packed party might help you meet a friend you would've otherwise never met.
I like chosen chaos for a certain stage in the creative process, the time when you are well into a project, deep in the jungle of it.
But, and here's how minimalism helps my creativity bloom, I like to start with a blank slate. My mind needs calm, an empty room, metaphorically and sometimes literally, to gain the deep serenity from which ideas arise.
If you never allow yourself the time to clean, clear, declutter, forgive, and take out the trash, traffic backs up, and with it the exhaust fumes of writer's block, burnout, procrastination, and distraction.
As scary as a blank canvas or empty page can be, you do need it to create something new.
One of my writing projects became the Simple Living Toolkit, which aims to help people reap a more joyful life by embracing minimalism. You can check it out here.