Newborn on a Budget: Everything you Need for your New Baby for under $50
You don't need to spend an arm and a leg on your new sweet bundle of joy.
Yes, your new baby needs food, clothes, a safe place to sleep, and a few other essentials. But trust me, you don't need to spend thousands of dollars to take good care of your newborn.
You can be prepared for your new baby for under $500 with the list below. Whether you're on a tight budget, choosing a simple lifestyle, or just curious about baby-related financial matters, today's post will show you exactly how you can keep things frugal and low-clutter when expecting a baby, with specific suggestions on what to buy to save money in the first six months of your newborn’s life.
This is a companion blog post to my "Minimalist Baby Registry Checklist" which lists my road-tested pre-baby purchase list, as well as a bunch of things you do NOT need to buy to capably nurture your new baby.
Today’s post here will use that list as a jumping off point and specifically address how to keep to an under $500 budget as you prepare your home for baby.
Maybe you won't have a registry or baby shower, or you don't want to ask your friends and family to buy new items for your baby. Or maybe you just want to keep your registry very affordable. Whatever your situation, this list is for you if you want to outfit your home for baby for under $500. While both of my lists are minimalist, this is the EXTREMELY minimalist of the two.
While I have road-tested many of the items in my Minimalist Baby Registry Checklist post, in this post I will be making some suggestions for things I haven't necessarily tested, but which fit the budget, and which I would be willing to purchase based on good reviews, if I were going to prepare for a new baby all over again for under $500. Some links below are affiliate links, and I earn a small fee if you purchase through them (at no cost to you). All opinions are my own and are not for sale.
I've also left some things off this list that are on the other list (things that seemed essential to me, but perhaps not to other people). Consider this the ultra minimalist version of the minimalist registry post.
Finally, I'm assuming you'll be breastfeeding exclusively for the first six months, so we won't need to leave room in this budget for formula. This is a judgment-free zone when it comes to how you feed your baby. I don’t have experience with formula feeding a newborn and it’s not ideal for a budget this tight, so I won’t be addressing it in this post.
Let's begin with the absolute essentials:
1. Infant Car Seat
Don’t leave the hospital without one. Here's one with 4.8 stars on Amazon for $89.99.
Someone on Facebook asked, wouldn’t it be better to buy a travel system that comes with a stroller? Or a seat that transitions to fit the baby when they are older?
I do recommend a travel system as a great option for quality over quantity on my other post about minimalist baby gear. However, it’s not the budget option. For those on a tight budget, it’s still cheaper to buy a car seat and stroller (or carrier for baby wearing, as I recommend below) separately, and to upgrade to an affordable front-facing carseat when the time comes and you’ve had a chance to price compare. And from a safety point of view, you want to keep your baby in a rear facing seat (like the one above) for as long as possible.
Here’s why you want to avoid spending too much money right up front before your baby comes. First of all, you won’t know your unique baby’s exact needs until they arrive and you get to know them. Secondly, you’ll be joining a new community (if you’re a first-time parent). One of the best things you can do, both for your budget and for your sanity, is to join a group for new parents as soon as possible, even if it meets only weekly or monthly. You’ll meet and befriend other parents who are going through the same life-changing transition to parenthood that you are. And you’ll be able to swap and trade things you might need for your baby, saving you lots of money. For example, one parent in the group might have purchased an extra car seat they do not need, or might have a family member with older kids who is passing down an abundance of baby stuff they are happy to share. I have found that once you form a social circle with other parents, they’ll give you money-saving secrets, second-hand buying options, and sometimes, free stuff.
2. Diapers & Wipes
Grab these (I've personally tested) great reusable diapers. You’ll want to get two sets, as each set includes six diapers, and twelve is about the minimum you’ll need if you only want to launder diapers every 24-48 hours instead of more frequently. Try these wipes so you don't have to buy disposables.
It will be worth your time to ask Google and YouTube your questions about cloth diapering. There are many helpful hygiene and sanitation tips to learn that make cloth diapering easier than one might think. (Hint #1: This technique, which was taught to me in my doctor’s office by our pediatrician in Ukraine, where many people don’t use or can’t afford disposable wipes, is easier, cleaner, and more sustainable than wipes. Update: last I checked, the video had gone private. Use a bidet or warm water from the bathroom sink faucet to rinse your baby’s bottom, soap up, rinse, and pat dry with a towel or cloth wipe.) (Hint #2: If you’re exclusively breastfeeding, diapers soiled with your baby’s bowel movements can go straight into the washing machine. Otherwise the poopy diapers will need to be pre-treated, a process that may include scraping poo off by hand and a chemical soak.)
I found it almost impossible for any cloth diaper to keep my baby dry during a 6-8 hour stretch of sleep, and a wet cloth diaper would wake my baby. So to get some sleep, I used disposable diapers (which have a larger capacity) at night. Since these aren’t in the budget, I recommend asking supportive organizations in your community to donate diapers. Do this well before your due date so you don’t have to worry about it once you’re adjusting to life with a newborn.
You may also want to check out programs, nonprofits, and religious institutions for free diapers and other baby supplies. It probably goes without saying, but if your budget is tight, stockpile as much free baby stuff as you can during your third trimester.
If you’re in the USA, try the National Diaper Bank Network (dial 211).
Total: $108.97.
3. Sleeping Situation
I love the ease of a play yard for sleeping. My children never used cribs because we found they could comfortably and safely sleep in a play yard. You could buy an after-market mattress for added comfort (see safety notes below) for a total of $131.59.
Always do your own research on safe sleep practices and check with the AAP to learn about safe sleep for infants. If you add a mattress as I recommend, make sure it fits the bottom of the play yard very snugly on all sides to avoid suffocation risk. The mattress is nice for added comfort for your baby and improves feasibility as a long-term sleeping situation, but always check with your baby’s pediatrician before adding any after-market products to a play yard that will be used as a sleeping area.
4. Feeding
For breastfeeding, you'll want a pump and bottle so that you can be away from baby during work or other activities. In the US, many states require your insurance company to provided you with a breast pump free of charge. I recommend selecting one from those free options that is listed as "hospital grade." If a free pump is not available to you, try searching for a second-hand pump for a deal. Or try this manual breast pump for $12.94 as well as this bottle and these breast milk freezer bags for a total of $29.92.
5. Clothes & Coverings
The final item on the essentials list is a few things to keep baby clothed and cozy. How about this adorable 23-piece set for $50.63? Looks good to me. Alternatively, you could take your $50 to a thrift store or a few garage sales and try to get more than 23 pieces for your new baby.
So far, our total for the essentials listed above is $411.10.
We have some room to spare in the budget to add a few more things to make your life easier:
6. Baby Carrier
For the first few months, and longer if you want, you can skip the stroller as I did and opt for a baby carrier for more skin-to-skin time. Carrying (also called "wearing") your baby has many benefits, including increasing your core strength and breast milk supply. It's also a great way to keep your baby close while freeing up your hands for the many activities hands do. Let's go with my favorite carrier, a LILLEbaby, for $77.69.
7. Organic Coconut Oil
Coconut oil is an amazing all-around moisturizer, nipple cream, and even (for some babies - ask your pediatrician) diaper rash cream. Get it for $6.69.
8. Pacifiers
While professional opinions differ on how long to use a dummy, binky, or pacifier (and whether to use them at all), what remains constant is that tired parents want a way to sooth and calm their baby at 2 am. Enter the soothie. Grab a 2-pack for $3.69.
This will bring our total to $499.17, which is neatly under our budget of $500.
Where's Everything Else?
The list you’re reading is extremely minimal, even compared to my other already-minimal list. There are so many things advertised for babies that we don't need. Therefore, they aren’t on this list, which is my most minimal.
Note that you'll need to use some things for your baby that are not listed here, things such as bath soap, laundry detergent, and a thermometer, that most adults, even non-parents, already keep supplied in their homes. You can usually use the adult version of these items for your baby’s needs as well. Some soaps for adults can be drying, so make sure you that after you wash your baby you moisturize their skin well with coconut oil or another baby-friendly lotion. You’ll also want to co-opt an old towel on which to change your baby’s diapers; you can use it on a bed, couch, or on the floor, but never leave your baby unattended there, even for a moment.
You can take wonderful care of your baby and keep them very happy and healthy with just a few well-thought-out essentials. I hope this list helps you do so in a budget-friendly way.
And, may you richly enjoy the many simple, delightful moments that parenthood offers.
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1-Month No-Spend Challenge (Free Downloadable Workbook)
Does a no-spend challenge sound like a fun way to get yourself on track toward your minimalism or saving goals? If so, this might be for you. Check out this free download (no email address required).
Heidi Thiel helped create this free resource on achieving a 31-day “no spend” challenge on behalf of Credit.com. She writes, “These days many of us are out of touch with where our money is actually going, and a no-spend challenge can help put things back in perspective and empower you to save for what's really important.”
If you’re interested in starting small, there’s a format to try a 7-day no-spend challenge within the PDF.
Download your free PDF workbook here.
Workbook credit link here.
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Minimalist Pregnancy Essentials
Pregnancy can be a joy, but it can also be uncomfortable. In fact, it can be worse than uncomfortable. The tough part is that it's different for each woman, so it can be hard to know exactly what will work for you to make your pregnancy a bit easier.
Today I'm sharing a minimalist list of nine items that have helped me or made me more comfortable during this pregnancy.
I wish I could guarantee that this list will solve all your pregnancy-related problems, but I can only say that these are some of the things that have helped me have a happier and more comfortable pregnancy than otherwise. Please don't take anything on this list as medical advice. As always, do your own research and consult your doctor when it comes to treating health issues during pregnancy or any time.
Minimalist Pregnancy Essentials
This post contains some links that may be affiliate links. As always, all opinions are 100% my own and not for sale.
1. Delicious Prenatal Vitamins
I'm a fan of adding a bit of deliciousness to anything you have to make a daily habit of. When it comes to taking a prenatal, you really don't want to forget, especially in that first trimester when it's important to get folic acid. My prenatal vitamins taste like candy. This makes it really fun to remember to take them every day.
These are the vitamins I've been taking during this pregnancy.
2. Additional Vitamin D Supplementation
I read that Vitamin D may boost your immune system. During pregnancy, catching a cold is especially onerous because you can't take many of the medicines you may have reached for to help you feel better when not pregnant. Every time I felt like I may have been exposed to a virus, or just felt tired and that I might be coming down with something, I took additional Vitamin D. Please do your own research to make sure you are taking a safe amount. The prenatal vitamins I recommended already have some vitamin D in them so take that into account. This pregnancy I also was in a cold northern climate over winter for the first time, so I think the Vitamin D was probably helpful for my whole system since I wasn't getting a lot of sunshine.
3. EXERCISE, Especially Yoga
There's a slight tendency for women to feel discouraged from exercising during pregnancy. However, as long as I listen to my body and not overdo it, it really seems to help my mental state and just to make everything a little easier. I've been taking a weekly yoga class on and off for years, but I find that during pregnancy, yoga is especially enjoyable for me. It seems to align and stretch everything at a time when physical changes are happening fast. Each class feels different for my changing pregnant body, and that makes it more interesting.
If you want to do yoga at home, simply searching “prenatal yoga” on YouTube always leads me to amazing (free) videos.
Beyond yoga, what works for me is cardio and light strength training about 3-4 times a week and a yoga class once a week. In general, my cardio is walking or using the elliptical machine (it's lower impact than a treadmill) at the gym. My strength training is squats, push ups, and weight machines at the gym. I will also do about 3-5 minutes of light yoga before bed. Every chance I get, I also hang from my hands (as in on the monkey bars). I'm not able to do a pull-up right now, but simply hanging stretches my arms, shoulders, and back out in a way that feels good.
4. Social Support
I think some people go through pregnancy feeling relatively private about the matter. It's not something they need or want to talk/complain about much. They draw inward, and that can feel really healthy and safe for them. However, for me, I love when people ask how I'm feeling, how pregnancy is going, and offer to help when I need it. I have long conversations with family and friends about how my pregnancy is going and what I can do to deal with certain pregnancy symptoms. This social support has been essential to me this pregnancy. I'm so grateful to my family and friends who have listened to me complain or vent for hours.
5. Coconut Oil
Most nights before bed I rub some coconut oil on my belly and anywhere on my skin that feels dry or like it's being stretched with pregnancy weight gain. It's a soothing evening ritual. Some claim that coconut oil can help prevent stretch marks, but I've heard that whether or not you get stretch marks is mostly a matter of genes. Still, it's nice to feel like I'm doing something to help my skin stay comfortable and moisturized.
I tend to buy coconut locally, but if you want to get it online here’s one to try.
6. The Softest Tees
I'm a big fan of Encircled. It’s not a maternity brand, but I find their shirts long and stretchy enough that they are still fitting me now in my third trimester. Encircled clothing is ethically and sustainable made. It's nice (and money-saving) to have something to wear that fit me before pregnancy and will fit me after pregnancy.
As far as other maternity clothes, I found that I needed to size up frequently with bras, buy larger leggings, and get a few pairs of maternity jeans. Other than that, I was the grateful recipient of lots of hand-me-downs from women in my community who had maternity clothes sitting around that they were done with. Once I'm done with them, I'll pass them along too.
7. Birth Practice
While I'm really happy that epidurals and other forms of pain management exist as an option, I wanted to fully experience natural birth with as few medical interventions as possible. I ended up training with Hypnobabies which was a wonderful experience, but it wasn’t exactly what I was hoping it would be. However, my birth was truly wonderful and very peaceful and positive. My sister was present at my first birth, and ended up using similar preparation technique for her births. Together we developed a new program called Birth Practice - basically what we wish existed when we were preparing for our births.
It's a very personal choice, but if you're curious about learning to relax deeply to allow birth to be a more empowering and positive experience, try Birth Practice. It's mostly about un-doing a lifetime of incorrect cultural programming that says birth has to be tense, as well as learning communication and deep relaxation techniques.
8. ASMR Videos
You either get it, or you don't, when it comes to ASMR. You've probably heard of ASMR, which stands for autonomous sensory meridian response. It's a relaxing, often tingly feeling some people get in certain situations, like when getting your hair cut or listening to rain patter gently against a window. For many, a video including both visual and auditory triggers enhances the relaxing feelings. For example, in real life when someone is chewing gum I don't feel much. However, if I'm watching a video of someone chew gum, I find the sound and visuals very relaxing to the point I may fall asleep. Weird, I know.
There are a huge number of different ASMR triggers people enjoy. Thousands, maybe millions, of people use ASMR videos to help them relax, recover from anxiety and trauma, and go to sleep. I've dealt with quite a bit of insomnia during this pregnancy and ASMR videos have helped me finally get to sleep. Simply search “ASMR” on YouTube to explore the world of relaxing videos. Here’s one I’ve enjoyed that is specific to pregnancy, if you’re into that.
9. Glow Nurture App
I've enjoyed the Glow Nurture App (search for it in your smart phone's app store) for the updates and forums. Every week it gives me a fruit or vegetable that is comparable to my baby's current size (this week it's honeydew melon). There's also a little cartoon picture of what the baby looks like and lots of brief articles covering pregnancy related topics. There's an active forum too, which I find fun to dip into occasionally. While it does get feisty once in a while, in general the "mommy wars" are absent from the forum connected to the app. There's also a function called time lapse that lets you upload photos of your bump each week, then loads them into a video so you can see how you've grown.
That's it! Those are my 9 pregnancy essentials as a minimalist.
I hope something on this list helped you solve a pregnancy-related problem or enjoy this time in your life more.
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Textures and Details
One benefit of simple living is the space it allows me to appreciate and create instances of detail, texture, and beauty moment-to-moment. I've been collecting close-ups in the form of photographs lately. Here are a few of them.
Some will say that art, or creation, thrives in a state of chaos. Envision the stereotype of the studio piled high with canvasses filled and empty, paint brushes, scattered fruit. See the cliche of the writer behind her desk, hidden from view by books, pages, and files stacked high.
I find that controlled chaos, or what I prefer to think of as curated or chosen chaos, is helpful for making connections that wouldn't be made otherwise, like how crashing into into someone at a packed party might help you meet a friend you would've otherwise never met.
I like chosen chaos for a certain stage in the creative process, the time when you are well into a project, deep in the jungle of it.
But, and here's how minimalism helps my creativity bloom, I like to start with a blank slate. My mind needs calm, an empty room, metaphorically and sometimes literally, to gain the deep serenity from which ideas arise.
If you never allow yourself the time to clean, clear, declutter, forgive, and take out the trash, traffic backs up, and with it the exhaust fumes of writer's block, burnout, procrastination, and distraction.
As scary as a blank canvas or empty page can be, you do need it to create something new.
One of my writing projects became the Simple Living Toolkit, which aims to help people reap a more joyful life by embracing minimalism. You can check it out here.
Cheap Travel and Skipping the Souvenir Trap
Two travel tips for you today:
Save by Planning Ahead
According to a Wall Street Journal article published October 23, 2014, the best day of the week to buy a plane ticket is now Sunday, when prices tend to be lower. According to the Airlines Reporting Corp, you'll find the lowest price for a domestic ticket 57 days before departure, while you'll want to purchase your ticket for an international flight 171 days before departure for the best price. Those are specific numbers. You win by being an above-average planner and counting back from your intended trip dates to get your ticket on the cheapest day.
Avoid Schlepping Extra Stuff
I love this tip from one of my international traveler friends. She suggests taking pictures of souvenirs instead of buying them. Next time you're shopping abroad, pause before you hand over your cash. Take a picture instead. I snapped the top photo in a crazy flea market in Hollywood, California. This photo reminds me of the visit and takes up less space in my home than if I'd brought home one of those carafes, kettles, or bowling pins.
If you buy souvenirs as gifts, instead have someone take a nice photo of you standing in front of a landmark and give that away instead.
For more simple living tips, visit SimpleLivingToolkit.com
8 Steps to Declutter Your Career
This is a guest post by Australia-based career coach and consultant Caroline De Kimpe. Enjoy. - Genevieve
Simplifying your job increases productivity, effectiveness and achievements.
And guess what? Simplifying is exactly what will help you land that promotion or get a salary increase.
When I first came to Australia I had one suitcase full of cloths and toiletry. Since I arrived (in 2006) I moved 5 times and like most people, each time I took the opportunity to throw away “stuff” I wasn’t using any more, to declutter and prepare for a fresh home.
Still, each time I had more boxes to move.
It’s similar in our career. Our first job is very straight forward and (most of the time) we don’t have high expectations and stress. As we climb the ranks, we have bigger teams, projects, more responsibilities and are faced with more politics. This goes often hand in hand with longer working hours and more stress.
Each time we gain a new role and we increase our responsibilities, we automatically increase the expectations we have of others and ourselves.
When it becomes too much and we feel overwhelmed our performance will start to decline, our health will go backwards and, more often than not, we'll be in a bad mood all the time.
All of which will create more stress and unhappiness.
Getting Rid of What Doesn't Serve You
Just like when you move house, once in a while, you need to declutter and throw away what doesn’t serve you anymore in your career. You have gained more roles, and with that greater responsibilities and expectations and to manage them as effective and efficient as possible you need to re-balance.
I believe a simple and effective way to start balancing your life again is to simplify as much as you can.
These are my top 8 tips to simplify your job or career:
- Open calendar (and closed door) policy. To make sure you don’t get distracted all the time you need to make yourself less accessible to everyone. Ask your team members to book a time with you to discuss their problems and challenges instead of disturbing you every 5 seconds.
- Set boundaries – decide how much time and energy you spend on specific task.
- Clean – have a clean work space.
- Make time for yourself. Take does lunch breaks! You need to simplify from the inside out: your thinking, your decisions and your actions. Making time for yourself will give you clarity to do so.
- One task, one focus - try to avoid too much multitasking; it often creates “starts with no finishes”.
- Create an efficient system or routine.
- Have a “one pager:" a business plan, sales plan, life plan, goal plan etc. Make it one page (or a one page summary) – much easier to follow and to keep with you.
- Don’t complicate if it’s not necessary; choose the easiest way when possible and appropriate.
Caroline De Kimpe is a career transformation coach for men and women who have a corporate job and want to break out of their rut and transform their ordinary job into their dream career. Visit her website here.
Can You Be Minimalist With Kids?
Or is your house destined to look something like this during your child-rearing years?
Since publishing my book, Minimalist Living, and a few times pre-publication, I've gotten questions about how to live a minimalist lifestyle if you have kids. I didn't get into that topic in the book because a) we don't have kids yet and b) people willing to say they are successfully living a minimalist life with kids are few and far between.
From everything I've heard, the results of procreation are unpredictable. There's no way to know if you are going to give birth to neat-freak matching-sock-wearers, or if you are going to have a bunch of aspiring splatter artists. And if it's the latter, I'd be the last to tell you to crush their artistic dreams.
So let's turn to a minimalist parent who can speak to this mystery. I'm publishing portions of an email she sent on the topic. Thanks so much to this anonymous parent who wrote the following.
Moving as a Method to Keep Clutter Minimal
Our situation over the past few years has really necessitated that we keep the clutter down, but I don't know if we would be good at it otherwise --We have dealt with three overseas moves for one-year positions, and each time we've mailed maybe one or two boxes mainly of [my husbands] books and papers, and everything else we brought had to fit into suitcases. We were always moving into furnished places, so they came stocked with just the basics-- dishes, cooking things, bedding, towels, so we were bringing clothes, things we needed to work, like laptops, and a few favorite toys for the kids. If we were in Europe coming back to the US or Canada, we also brought lots of books in German or French, as they would be hard to get here, and we want to keep up the kids' language skills.
Traveling with the Maximum
I have to admit that we never really mastered packing light after we had kids. Once or twice, when it was just the two of us, we traveled to Europe for a couple of weeks with just a regular-sized backpack each (the school kind, not the camping kind), but for our longer stays with the kids, we brought as much luggage as was allowed without being charged extra, and it was always a disaster because it was more than we could carry and especially tough to get on and off of trains when traveling from the airport to whereever we were living, especially when dealing with 3-4 small children, always a stroller, and once with both one in a stroller and one in a baby bijorn. But it always made us realize that once there, we really couldn't accumulate any more stuff since there would be no room to bring it along, but I found I have really enjoyed minimalist living, and having less toys and kid stuff does mean less trouble cleaning up.
What to Do About Toys
Now, we are still in a temporary situation, but instead of the furnished rental places that were our last three places to live, we are renting a home from a family on sabbatical, so much of their stuff is still in the house, (which they've lived in for years as the three kids have grown up), including so many toys--it's impossible to keep up with it! In contrast, from 2010-2012, my kids' main playthings were a bunch of duplo legos and some small stuffed animal toys. But it was always enough to keep them entertained-- everyone liked to build things with the legos, and there were enough of them that everyone could have a project at once if they wanted. Usually the boys would build vehicles and then play with them. My older two children (now 9 and 7, but when we first moved in 2010 would have been 4 and 6), had about 4-5 beanie-baby sized animals and liked to act out imaginative stories with them, narrating their actions. Those two activities, plus reading and coloring made up just about all of their indoor activities and was really all that was needed. Now that we have the use of the extra toys, they get strewn about, but not really played with as much.
Celebration Giving
Gift-giving times like Christmas and birthdays are hard because I really want the kids to get to open gifts they are delighted with, but I dread having the extra stuff. Foreign-language books (and movies) are always worth it, so that they could keep up with their language skills, we felt they were worth stocking up on (and probably took up most of the luggage space on this last move). I always try to think in terms of consumable gifts, like arts and crafts supplies, or things that are so inexpensive we don't mind leaving them behind. If the grandparents are visiting for Christmas or something, I also give them strict instructions about what they're allowed to bring as gifts, and I always try to send them back with as much stuff as they bring-- for example, clothes that can be handed down to another kid or books we can save for later.
Pretend to Move Once a Year
I guess this doesn't really help someone in a situation of living somewhere permanently and wanting to control clutter-- they wouldn't be forced to give it up at the end of the year. Based on my experiences, my advice would have to be, "Once a year, get as many of your possessions as you can into one suitcase and one carry-on per person, and get rid of the rest!" but that's pretty impractical, and I'm sure I wouldn't do it if I weren't forced to. But I think I have probably become a lot more thoughtful about things I acquire, thinking ahead to what are we going to be doing with this thing a year from now -- do I really need it?
A Helpful Chant
When doing big clean-ups, I have to chant, "when it doubt, throw it out!" I think I tend to want to be a pack rat and save things, so it can be liberating to know you have to throw things out. My husband really wants to save every bit of artwork the kids produce - so much for the "consumable" art supply gifts! But really, all the pieces worth saving can fit into a large envelope. We just don't buy a lot of stuff (it's not really in our budget to, anyway), and I instruct Grandma not to, though it's hard for her!
Buy Second-Hand and Then Donate Again
When we lived with no car, we could walk anywhere we needed to go most of the time because [it]was such a small town, but something like a Wal-mart was a drive away. So if I needed something that would usually call for that kind of store, I'd first check out the local Salvation Army Thrift Store, which had a decent selection and the things there were pretty nice (I checked out the one near where we presently live, and things were not so nice!)-- for instance, I picked up an iron and ironing board for probably under $10 total, so it wasn't difficult to donate it back to the thrift store when we had to move.
When Grandmothers Get in the Way
Anyway, I had the younger kids with me all the time, and the thrift store also had toys, and my daughter would always pick out some stuffed animal that she badly wanted-- a large unicorn for instance, and even though it was only $1.99 or whatever. I'd say "no, we don't need that" realizing that it would become a precious friend that couldn't be left behind but wouldn't fit in a suitcase, and I'd feel pretty relieved that I had a good excuse not to have to bring the thing home. But on two different occasions, kindly grandmotherly types overheard, felt sorry for her, and came up and gave my daughter the money so that the poor girl could buy herself the huge unicorn or horse or whatever. Noooooo!
How to Get Your Kids to Part with Toys
We solved the problem at moving time by having a little girl friend of hers adopt them and promise to take good care of them, so it all worked out-- she got to have a couple of months of playing with them, and it wasn't so traumatic to part with them.
So, to those of you with offspring in their younger years, what do you say? Is it possible to live as a minimalist? Let us know in the comments, and PLEASE share any tips that have been helpful to you in this area (even if you aren't perfect or even close ;).
For more on this topic, join the free 10-Day Decluttering Challenge and associated minimalism email series.
photo credit: AngryJulieMonday via photopin cc photo credit: pricecs via photopin cc
The Real Power of a Power Suit
My aunt, Kelly Parker Palace, wrote today's guest post. I write in my minimalism books about how the true power of a belonging lies in the memories and stories you attach to it, not the actual possession itself. I think this dramatic story illustrates that point perfectly. Once you realize that the memories are the treasure, you can let go of the old and let the new in. Enjoy. -- Genevieve
I often fantasize about how nice it would be to have an uncluttered organized closet. My clothes lined up by color or purpose, everything in its place. The huge dose of inspiration I needed for this came to me from reading my niece’s book, Minimalist Living. I felt I was ready, normally I am a purger-not a collector. Most of our home qualifies as minimalist. My closet was the last untouched area. I thought I was ready to conquer it, but when I went to take action, I froze like a statue standing in the doorway. Lucky for me I had access to Genevieve a world traveling, minimalist expert-author, who I knew could assist me. I whipped off the following email to her, asking for help.
Hi Sweetie,
I am reading your book on minimalism (and loving it) and it is inspiring me to de-clutter my clothing/closet. But I am having trouble getting rid of my "winter" wardrobe. Having moved here from NY and DC, I have a great collection of wonderful winter-wear: coats, expensive business suits, and all the accessories that go with these items.
Though we have now lived in hot Florida for 9 years, I still have all my winter coats, suits and clothes hanging in my closet. I keep thinking that "one day" I may move north again and would need them. Also, of course, I do travel to cold climates, so I may need a few cold weather items.
I know part of getting rid of the suits is saying goodbye to my fun and successful career with Pfizer. It makes me sad. Also some sadness is involved in the winter coat goodbyes. Any advice you can give me in letting these go?
I love you!
Aunt Kelly
Though Genevieve is time zones away on the other side of the world, she picked up the phone and called me when she read my email. After a quick check-in, she cut to my plea for help. Who knew what followed would be like one of the best, most cathartic “counseling” sessions of my life? That I would be shedding tears of deep emotion related to clothing in my closet?!
The Session
In our phone conversation Genevieve asked me to think about the feelings I got when I evaluated various pieces of my clothing. She recommended that I take a picture of items with which I carry powerful memories. Maybe write a story about the most important ones. She reminded me that by taking old things out of my closet/life I would make room for new/exciting things. She asked me important questions in my search for the reasons why I had held onto items for decades, without using them, even once. I answered. She listened. I cried. I thought about things more deeply than I had in a long time. After the call and this writing exercise, I felt ten times lighter! And I’m ready to really take action towards my fantasy closet. What follows is just one story of a “Power Suit” that was holding power over me, hanging in my closet untouched for the last 14 years. I hope by photographing this suit and writing its story I will be able to get rid of it and invite something new into my life that serves me better.
The Story
The day was September 11, 2001 and I felt extra good as I walked to work in my freshly dry cleaned, chartreuse, Liz Claiborne suit, pearls, tan pumps and hose.
It was also a “good hair” day, I noted with pleasure. I was living and working in New York City. Like many people in NYC that day, I had a spring in my step on what started as an exceptionally beautiful, crisp, clear morning. Additionally, I was happily anticipating September 12th, my 40th birthday, and was looking forward to celebrating the big 4-0 with friends during the upcoming weekend.
The route I covered daily from my apartment to my office took me by a charming old firehouse with an open truck bay and handsome, friendly firefighters that waved and smiled at me every morning while sitting at a round table and drinking coffee, as they started their shift. Seeing these men in uniform was of the highlights of my morning walk/commute. My office was located on 42nd Street on the 36th floor of one of Pfizer Pharmaceuticals buildings, our global headquarters in the heart of Midtown Manhattan.
Loving Life
I had a job I loved at Pfizer, great co-workers and thrived on the energy of the amazing city and all it had to offer. Life was good. In fact, in my “Power Suit” on the streets of NYC, I felt deep gratitude to be living one version of my dream life. I was smiling at people on the way to work, not always a common practice in NYC, but I did it anyway on this gorgeous day. Little did I know, in just a couple of hours I would be carrying my pumps and wearing holes in the bottom of my stockings as I ran down 36 flights of stairs in a terror filled exit from my office. That would be the beginning of a 16-hour saga of escaping the war zone New York City became that day.
I often feel guilty about mentioning any of my own sadness, grief, anxiety, confusion or pain which I experienced on 9/11. It feels as though it should be insignificant compared to the many that had worked at the twin towers or lost their life or a loved one. Yet, my experiences, memories and emotions of that day run so deep that to this day if I see the images of the planes hitting the towers, I am rocked with immediate tears and flashes of feelings that still haunt me.
The First
As I sat at my desk around 8:45 am on 9/11, a co-worker popped their head into my office and said, “Hey, come to the back window. A plane just hit one of the twin towers and you can see it perfectly.” Initially my mind conjured up a two-person “piper cub” plane just scratching the facade of the mighty tower. When I turned the corner of the hall to our big picture window facing south and looked at the towers, I was not prepared for what I saw. The clear day with low humidity provided a direct, flawless view of the towers from our 36th floor sight-line. There were no buildings tall enough to interfere with our view. What we saw made the TV images look meek. The plumes of red, orange and yellow flames and thick black smoke pouring from a gaping hole in the tower was huge and horrific against the brilliant blue sky. This was no piper cub. A giant aircraft had hit the tower and the tragedy and loss of life was obvious. BAM! Oh my god! Just as we watched the first tower burning, it was surreal to see a second plane slam into the other tower directly in our view. Not on TV, but live before my very eyes. This could not be real. Was I having a nightmare? Were we at war?
The Second
Fear and confusion struck many of us when the second plane hit . A wave of nausea came over me. One of my male co-workers, whom I particularly admired for his strong leadership, vomited in the nearest trash can. I felt like doing that too, but didn’t have enough breakfast in me to produce it. At this point time was both fast and slow. Several of us stood in silence watching ghastly clouds of blackness and flames rise into the sky. What we thought was debris falling from the towers, we later realized were people jumping from their offices. We were shaken out of our disbelief when emergency sirens to evacuate our building began to boom loudly through the halls. Panic mode was now in full swing for all of us. We were instructed to quickly grab our personal items and “walk” down 36th flights of stairs. I ran. So did many others.
A War Zone
Though I never saw the media cover it from this angle, several of us in the tall buildings of NYC had our thoughts race to Pearl Harbor. We felt like we were in a war zone. Would there be more planes flying into tall buildings in the city? I wasn’t going to stick around to find out. I needed to get to the place where I felt the most protected, safe and loved on earth--my parents home in Richmond, Virginia. I needed to sit on Mom and Dad’s couch and sip tea and have them tell me things would be OK. Even though I was 39 years old, I felt like a small child, lost in the grocery store, panicked. But I was lost in NYC which was now a very scary place and I wanted out.
Running
The rest of that day is a blur. I ran all the way back to my apartment in bare feet. Sirens were blaring everywhere and the streets were filled with a parade of fire trucks. The sidewalks were crowded as people rushed to safety. At my apartment I tossed off my power suit and got into comfy traveling clothes and running shoes. My plan was to catch a train to Richmond. I packed a backpack of stuff and went to find my roommate Barb to say goodbye. She was on the roof of our apartment watching the sliver-view of the towers, with other residents. I found her shiny blonde hair among the crowd and told her my plan. That is when we heard a massive sound and felt the ground tremble. One of the towers was falling to the ground. My heart rate had almost returned to normal from the morning and my plan to get out of the city had calmed me a bit, but the tremor beneath me now was like another blow. As the first tower was falling to the ground, we watched what felt like slow motion. The storm cloud of dust was rising in the sky and I thought it would engulf us, even though we were a safe distance away. We all knew the death toll was rising as we watched. Panic struck me again. I began to run once more. Yes, real sub-8-minute per mile running. I was scared and wanted out.
Escape
I headed south to Penn Station to catch a train. I passed people covered in white dust heading north. People crying everywhere. Strong, handsome men in $3,000 power suits crying on their cell phones. Strangers hugging one another. Emergency vehicles were abundant. The streets were crowded. Taxis weren’t stopping. The amazing, powerful positive energy of the city was different. People were scared. When I arrived at Penn Station, I was met by a gruff policeman and barricades. The officer informed me that Penn Station was closed. No trains were running. In fact, he told me that “the island” (Manhattan) was being closed down. No entry nor exit. This made me crazy! “What?!” I screamed at him, “I have to get off the island!” Then he mumbled that one of the north bridges might be open. I felt trapped. Rumors were flying about the corpses piling up and how the city might become a health hazard. Now I was heading north hoping to find an open bridge. Again, I began to run, my anxiety still high, for the next few miles until I took a rest in Central Park. My heart rate was high, even though I was a competitive runner. Running with heavy back pack while scared can do that. I needed a rest.
Shared Grief
In Central Park I found a bench with only one person on it and plenty of room for me to stop and drink one of the water bottles I had packed. I sat down and got control of my breathing. That is when I noticed, in detail, the well dressed young man sitting next to me, his shoulders heaving with each crying sob he made. At first I noticed just the movement of his body, then I heard his waling. Maybe me sitting there with him allowed him to release his emotions. Or maybe the reality of the day had just hit him, but he was in pain. I put my hand on top of one of his and I gently asked, “Are you OK?” “No, no,” he quietly gurgled through tears. “My best friend was in tower two on the 101st floor. He was above the crash. I know he’s dead”, he continued. “I’m so sorry”, I said and began to cry with him. As each hour passed my emotions were getting more raw. It felt good to let out some of the pressure. My shock and anxiety was now grief for this young man and his friend. I couldn’t think about the other massive loss of life that day, or I never would have stopped crying. I felt stuck to the bench, drained of energy now. But again, as if on cue, I was jolted out of an emotional nightmare by a loud rumbling in the sky.
The rumbling rocked us. Hard to identify at first, but then clearly, it was the sound of a fleet of fighter jets zooming over Central Park and NYC. Everyone in the Park looked up, visibly shaken by another assault on our already damaged senses. Fear and adrenaline filled me and my fellow bench dweller. We speculated. Were we being attacked? Were those US jets or enemies’? Now my negative imagination was in over-drive. I needed to run again. After a quick farewell to my sad friend, I was off. I walked-ran many miles over the Triborough Bridge until I strained a hamstring. Finally I reached LaGuardia Airport by foot, where all planes were grounded.
The Last Car
At the Budget Rental Car desk I got their last vehicle to drive to Richmond. The trip should have taken 8 hours in normal circumstances but with the required detour around the city and the traffic it took 13 hours. Going south on I-95 I passed hundreds of fire trucks heading north to assist NYC in her hour of need. The fire trucks all had their lights flashing which helped keep me alert as I made the long drive. The processional of endless flashing fire trucks is a unique visual which I will always remember. I arrived at my parents at 2am. Mom and Dad were waiting up for me. I had forgotten to eat all day. Mom wrapped me in a blanket on the couch, brought me a bowl of cereal and both parents said, “Happy Birthday Honey, we’re so glad you are home safely.”
A New World
As I crawled into bed at my parents’ in the wee hours of the morning, I thought of my NYC apartment and what it would be like to be going back there. At that point, I didn’t know when I would be returning to NYC. I would learn many things had changed in this great city. My friendly morning firefighting crew lost some members from their shift in the towers. One thing I knew I would find upon my return was my chartreuse, Liz Claiborne power suit crumpled on the floor of my room where I had thrown it in my hasty escape on 9/11.
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1st photo credit: ifindkarma via photopin cc
2nd photo credit: Kelly Parker Palace