Two Charleston Trips

There was a little flurry of road trips about 7-8 months ago, before Bump arrived, and one of them was to Charleston, SC.  It was a quick trip. We saw my sister-in-law and niece, and we took one of the carriage tours that the city is famous for. We admired the old fancy homes, took a quick water-view selfie, and ate a beautiful meal.

Having been raised mostly in the South, I am used to the strong connection to Civil War history places like Charleston have, including the display of the Confederate flag and monuments to fallen Confederate soldiers. However, Charming, a California boy at heart, found it strange to be surrounded by what he was educated to view as "symbols of slavery and prejudice."   I tried to explain to him that most Southerners feel a deep connection to a complex and painful history, including the Civil War, but it doesn't mean they don't condemn slavery and racism.

Seven months later, I found myself back in Charleston. This was last weekend and the city was reeling in shock and grief from the murder of nine of its African-American citizens who were killed in cold blood by a maniac who explained his actions by saying he wanted to start a race war.

In the aftermath three days ago, South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley called for the Confederate flag to be removed from the State House building in Columbia, South Carolina, saying it was a "deeply offensive symbol of a brutally offensive past." Hopefully this act will help create a more inclusive, unified state that can heal from the racially motivated act of violence that rocked the state and the country.

During this recent weekend trip, signs hung all around the city, declaring unity and thoughts of sympathy to the families of the slain and the church they belonged to. The photo at the top of this post shows one of those signs, displayed in the city market and signed by passersby.

I was there with three college friends to celebrate our 30th birthdays, which we did mostly by talking, relaxing by pool and beach, and by going out for fish tacos.

After tacos Saturday night, we walked next door to an outdoor art showing we'd passed by earlier in the day. The large, graffitti-inspired murals had been a backdrop for an inclusive community event earlier that was open to the public. We arrived after the event closed, but walked around the outdoor area to one of the murals that was lit with votive candles lined up under it.

We held hands and said a prayer for Charleston as dusk deepened. A fellow latecomer arrived to the art event on a bicycle and offered to take a group photo for us.

This second Charleston trip was just as beautiful as the first, but marked by a turning point that will hopefully bring good out of evil for the city.

30 Hours in Myrtle Beach

Prince Charming and I picked a weeknight earlier this month and went to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina for two days and a night.

We said goodbye to Bump...

... who was in good hands with my mom caring for him, then escaped for some much needed couple time.

In Lumberton, NC (where we are now),  if you say "I'm going to the beach" without further elaboration its assumed you are going to Myrtle Beach. Myrtle Beach is about a two hour drive (or less if you have a lead foot) from Lumberton. It's a kind of Atlantic City of the South without the gambling. The family-friendly getaway is populated with an abundance of mini golf courses, water parks,  and theaters.  Everything is given a fun theme, including most restaurants, all mini golf, and most theater productions (Medieval Times, pirates, etc). And then of course, there's the beach where you can relax between thematic experiences.

It was a fun little romantic getaway. We stayed in an AirBnB condo on the 11th floor of an oceanfront building and woke up to the beautiful sunrise in the top photo. We took sleepy selfies:

The night before we'd gone to see the The Carolina Opry, a musical variety show at the Calvin Gilmore Theater. A lot of the music was country-western type stuff I wasn't familiar with, but there were also some great covers, including a thrilling rendition of Dolly Parton's made-famous-by-Whitney-Houston I Will Always Love You. We also laughed that the ubiquitous "Let it Go" from Frozen somehow made it into the show as well.

Hungry after sitting in the theater for a couple hours, we made a pit stop at a hole-in-the wall pizza joint. A total gamble that paid off with some of the best pizza I've ever had. Check it out if you're craving pizza in Myrtle Beach. It's in this strip mall:

It's called New York Pizza. Trip Advisor displays love-it-or-hate-it reviews. Maybe they have off-nights. The couple that owns it is Lebanese, so Prince Charming chatted with them about his visit to Lebanon when we lived in the Middle East. I begged for the secret to the pizza, but they wouldn't reveal it, although there were some hints about fresh garlic, thyme, oregano, and how it's all in the crust.

Charming's favorite food experience during the trip was a fried oyster sandwich he had at Noizy Oyster. I was raving equally about my dish of raw oysters there.

For a delicious brunch the next morning we went to Johnny D's Waffles and Bakery where we had eggs Benedict, a large fruit plate, and some sort of banana coconut waffle the server described as "so heavy it kind of condenses on itself." Yeah.

I don't usually care what a restaurant looks like as long as the food is good and it's not too loud to have a conversation, but Johnny D's interior added icing on the waffle with charming hand-painted seascape murals on each wall.

I ate a lot since that morning we'd woken up early with the aforementioned sunrise and I'd gone for a run on the beach. Charming got a picture of the end of my run as I'm looking for him on our 11th floor balcony.

It was fun to show Charming around Myrtle Beach, a place I've visited many times growing up Lumberton, but that he'd never been to.

Dance of the Spring Moon

Prince Charming, Bump and I visited our first powwow as a family on May 3, which, not coincidentally, was a full moon.

The Dance of the Spring Moon is a well-known event hosted by the Lumbee Tribe here in the Robeson County, NC area. In an article about the powwow in the local paper, The Robesonian, an attendee said that he heard that this event was well known in the Native American community for having the best drummers.

The annual Spring event would be a great one for visitors to the area to attend any year. The environment is friendly and educational and all are welcome to enjoy the atmosphere and learn about the various ceremonial dances and traditions of the Native American Tribes who attend.

Book 'Em North Carolina 2015 Writer's Lessons

ReidTerri

I attended sessions at Book 'Em North Carolina in Lumberton this year, and somehow finagled my way into speaking on a panel at the book fair and writer's conference.

Seated with me on the "Making Money Writing" panel were several other authors, including Terri Reid, who I admire for her prolificacy in writing (14 books in 5 years!) and in life (she has 7 children).

This powerhouse author has sold over one million books.

Her advice? You'll get to read a bunch of it in my upcoming book about habits of successful creatives, which she graciously agreed to be interviewed for.

My essential takeaway from what she said at Book 'Em was to write and publish regularly. Once you have an audience, they want to keep enjoying your work. So give them what they want: new books. She publishes hers in a series. Check out her site here.

My other lesson learned from the conference is that traditional publishing is in a state of chaos. Self-publishing is probably the way to go, especially if you have some skills in social media and marketing.

I wrote this blog post about my path to self-publishing on Kindle. It's remarkably easy. The part that takes time is writing, rewriting, editing, and proofing your book. But once you've written your book with the help of a supportive group of beta readers, you can self-publish for free (or almost free) very easily via Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing.

2014 In Review

I started off 2014 in cold water.

After feeling like just another member of the hoard of tourists that constantly pulse through Venice, Italy, we found a remarkably local-feeling celebration in the city on New Years Day, 2014. It was at Lido Beach, at an annual event of the Ibernisti club. I joined a bunch of other so-called "hibernators," mostly middle-aged men clad in Speedos and ladies in swim caps, in a celebratory plunge into the ice-cold Adriatic sea. (Anyone is invited.) Scroll down to the lower part of this blog post to read details.

During the ensuing adrenaline spike, I enjoyed a warm lentil sausage soup, and, improbably, the sounds of my Carolina upbringing as a live band played Beach Music there on that Italian beach.

In February we spent some time enjoying the not-so-dry season of the dry lands around Israel and Palestine, including the examination of an extra large hole in the ground.

As Spring came to Palestine, I spent a lot of time at Juthour, the arboretum nurtured into being by our  tree-loving friends, American-Palestinian couple Morgan and Saleh.

Out on the land, I enjoyed long walks with Jelly Bean, getting away from the commotion that came with living in the city center of Ramallah, and picnics with a dear group of friends that we became close to and who made Palestine feel like home into our second year there.

As the year wore on,  I started to feel the pangs of wanderlust.

In April, while celebrating our two-year wedding anniversary at the beach in Tel Aviv, we scheduled a visit to a doctor nearby and learned that the home pregnancy test I'd recently taken was correct.

I was pregnant! We'd been trying for what seemed like a while and had been discouraged and thought it might never happen. After we heard that little heart beat, we joyfully called our family to share the news.

In the first half of the year, we had the pleasure of hosting some friends in Palestine.

When Kimberly visited us, we had the usual Dead Sea shenanigans, plus some new explorations in Nazareth and Jerusalem.

In late June and early July we took a big trip to the USA that included a cruise with a stop in Canada. We saw New York City; Boston; Halifax, Nova Scotia; then Portland, Oregon; Los Angeles; and San Francisco. I had an inspiring bowl of Pho. We went on a cruise with family and I have a wonderful memory of soaking in a hot tub on deck with my dad and siblings  as evening came on and Hurricane Arthur pelted our faces with cold sideways rain.

We arrived back to a summer of chaos and bloodshed in Gaza. In our home in the West Bank, we were never in danger, but our hearts went out to the people who lost so much during the escalation in Gaza, those whom Prince Charming served in his position with a large humanitarian aid organization.

August and September were bittersweet, as we prepared to leave our friends in Palestine and looked forward to giving birth in the U.S., surrounded by family and friends. My belly was growing, and I looked forward to being able to not worry about overcoming a language barrier with healthcare providers in the U.S.

Morgan spoiled me with a spa day that included an all-natural face mask that made me look like an alien.

I ate a lot of bananas and drank a lot of green smoothies.

We visited Armageddon (underwhelming) and the Bahai Gardens in Haifa (wow).

 And we said goodbye.

We arrived in Lumberton, North Caroline where we've been staying with family. They have been so generous in giving us a place to land in the U.S. so that Prince Charming can take a sabbatical and enjoy new fatherhood.

Once settled, we set up the baby stuff and took some short trips: babymoons to the Richmond, Virginia area; to Holden Beach and Asheville, North Carolina and to Charleston, South Carolina. We met the medical staff who'd be attending the birth of our baby.

Then, just before we were scheduled to sit down for a Thanksgiving feast with lots of extended family, I started to feel the birthing waves begin.

Some fifteen hours later, he arrived. Our beautiful son.

We spent the rest of the holiday season lost in Babyland, the reason this blog post is so late. It's an enchanting place to travel to and get lost in. It's a hormone high every time he coos or caws. It's been so fun to get to know this little boy who gets bigger and brighter every day. Time is flying.

Packing Advice on Packing Lust

IN 2013, I posted only one packing advice article on packing lust. in 2014 I did a little better, and posted 5, with a little help from others:

I'm happy with the increase in posts about what to pack this year.

Professionally

Professionally, 2014 saw me simplify my web business situation, combining my coaching practice with Packing Lust. I continue to learn and grow as a creative entreprenuer. I have some changes planned for 2015 to clarify what I do and make my site easier to navigate so visitors can find what they are looking for. Sales of Minimalist Living were strong in 2014 and the Facebook community continues to grow. The Minimalist Living page had around 6,000 "likes" at the end of 2014. I worked on my next book, which will be about the habits required to make a living as a writer or artist, in 2014, but did not make my goal to have it finished and published in 2014. Hopefully I will publish it in 2015. I want to share what I've learned about making money from my writing, but I want to test what I've learned before I do so. I want to earn more income myself through the application of the habits and practices I've been studying. Then I'll share what I've learned in the book since one of my professional goals is to help other writers do the work independent creative work they want to do and get paid for it.

Oops, Almost Forgot to Blog

It's 10:01pm on the final day of the one-week Your Turn Challenge and, after a weekend out celebrating a wonderful wedding, I almost forgot to blog today. I'll keep it brief with what I learned from blogging for seven days in a row. It was a valuable experiment. I learned that it takes dedication to blog every day, even for just one week. I learned that I do not want to continue, at least for now. I may revisit the idea of "shipping daily" later. For now, I'll return to keeping my daily writing private. It was a useful exercise to think daily about things you, dear blog reader, may want to read. My daily writing is self-centered. After all, it is personal; no one reads it except for me.

One thing I like the idea of doing in the future is a limited series of daily posts, perhaps on one topic or in one genre. Let me know in the comments if you have ideas for a future series.

Travel and Bring Back Courage as a Souvenir

It's Day 5 of the Your Turn Challenge, and the optional daily question is:

What advice would you give for getting unstuck?

I've heard this term "unstuck" a lot lately. It's either a trendy word or it's that reticular activator thing.

You feel stuck. You'd like to travel the world but you just can't get out of the situation you're in.

Everywhere you turn, you encounter another obstacle that makes it feel like you can't move.

-Your lack of vacation time

-Your fear of flying

-Your fear of getting lost, robbed, or just looking like a fool

-The 50 pound cat your mother gave you

You keep turning, and you'll keep encountering obstacles. You know there's probably a solution to each obstacle, but thinking about that hits a little too close to the truth: the obstacles are excuses.

There are two obstacles that are probably really at play:

1. No one in your circle of friends travels the way you want to travel. So you don't know what it looks like, feels like, or smells like. You have no reference and you'll have no real support.

2. You aren't willing to sacrifice what you need to give to take the trip: the difficult conversation with your boss, the time to attend the hypnosis sessions to beat your fear of flying, or the guilt and/or worry that comes with letting a stranger cat-sit.

If you have travel dreams and you feel stuck at home, know this: travel does require a degree of discomfort. Not just when you're on the road (or in the sky), but when you're interviewing strangers to look after your overweight cat, or when you are mispronouncing words in a foreign language.

So don't go. Don't do it. It's too hard. It's going to exhaust you, stretch you, and test you.

What? That's what you want? You want to get out of your comfort zone?

In that case, getting unstuck is simple. Take one step forward, even if it's a little scary and uncomfortable. Just one. And then the next.

Then bring back your courage as a souvenir. Share it with your friends. Travel - and growth -  is contagious.

Where We Are Now and The Birth of Our Son

Where In the World Are We?

We are currently staying in Lumberton, a small town in southeast North Carolina where my family lives, and where we chose to have our first baby.

The Ecstatic Birth of Our Son

The birth of our son was an incredible experience at the local hospital. We had competent and caring healthcare providers, including a nurse who told us she was leaving her job soon and wished our birth could've been her last because it was so touching.

Prince Charming held me in his arms for the ecstatic final moments (or was it hours?) of my 15 hour overnight labor. He skipped the lavish Thanksgiving feast (that he helped cook) to be there for every moment. I rewarded him by hitting him (apparently, although I have no recollection of that) when he came too close to me with breath smelling of powder-cheese snack crackers.

Magic and Romance

Parenthood has been magical. Our little boy is so deliciously perfect he's almost edible. We delight in snuggling with him and kissing his chubby cheeks. I give him new nicknames every hour. Charming likes to discuss solutions to world hunger and poverty with him.

New parenthood has also been hard. Hard, as in, sleepless and grumpy. The romance has taken a predictable hit. You know things are bad when, asked what he would like for his birthday, your husband says "just be nice to me."

Please keep in mind my sleep-deprived and cranky state as I describe our current location.

Lumberton, The Ugly

Located in Robeson County, NC, Lumberton is known for its violence, drug-trafficking, and obesity.

Parts of the county are considered a food desert. It's franchise fast-food for as far a the eye can see. And the eye can see far, as the land is flat here in this part of the state. My high school cross-country team would go to the man-made byway overpasses to do hill training.

There are no independent coffee shops or bookstores. Two recently opened businesses include a drive-through Starbucks and a large, almost warehouse-sized sex shop.

Lumberton, The Love

There are some things to love about Lumberton. Most importantly, my family is here, and they are immensely loveable.

It's got that slow-paced, small-town friendliness. We were standing in line at the post office, asking the attendant a question about the location of some government offices she didn't know the answer to. Three people in line behind us volunteered answers and other helpful tidbits.

People here are kind, friendly, hospitable, and truly caring. They have time for each other. There isn't much elitism, and, with a population evenly divided into four main ethnicities, the racism is, at least, a fair fight.

The town is also known for its extensive healthcare facilities. It's marketed to retired couples who make use of the healthcare facilities and enjoy relatively low-cost housing.

The landscape can be beautiful, especially if you enjoy lush fields of soft white cotton buds, lanky pines, and tastefully dilapidated tobacco barns. The Lumber River hides secrets in tea-colored water that languidly flows around knobby Cyprus knees.

The weather is mild in the winter. Air conditioning is plentiful in the summer.

The Lumbee Indian tribe here has a compelling history worth reading up on. The local, incomprehensible, deep-country dialect of English has a lilting musicality.

Lumberton isn't a place I would likely choose to spend much time in if my family wasn't here.  Sometimes it feels like I have a love-hate relationship with Lumberton. But the truth is, a place is really all about its people. And if that's the true, then Lumberton is a place to love.

Cheap Travel and Skipping the Souvenir Trap

Two travel tips for you today:

Save by Planning Ahead

According to a Wall Street Journal article published October 23, 2014, the best day of the week to buy a plane ticket is now Sunday, when prices tend to be lower. According to the Airlines Reporting Corp, you'll find the lowest price for a domestic ticket 57 days before departure, while you'll want to purchase your ticket for an international flight 171 days before departure for the best price.  Those are specific numbers. You win by being an above-average planner and counting back from your intended trip dates to get your ticket on the cheapest day.

 Avoid Schlepping Extra Stuff

I love this tip from one of my international traveler friends. She suggests taking pictures of souvenirs instead of buying them. Next time you're shopping abroad, pause before you hand over your cash. Take a picture instead. I snapped the top photo in a crazy flea market in Hollywood, California.  This photo reminds me of the visit and takes up less space in my home than if I'd brought home one of those carafes, kettles, or bowling pins.

If you buy souvenirs as gifts, instead have someone take a nice photo of you standing in front of a landmark and give that away instead.

For more simple living tips, visit SimpleLivingToolkit.com