Small and Large Graces on a Tough Day

I'm slowly reading Small Graces by Kent Nerburn.

Each chapter is a short, gentle reflection on "the quiet gifts of every day life." Today I feel the graces I've received are more like Large Graces. I've had a rough day, a day that found me with two flat tires, crying (for various reasons) while walking down a hot, dusty road next to a car dealership, unable to connect with any friends or family (for the moment) due patchy service in this small town. 

I found a coffee shop hoping to borrow the bathroom, cry my eyes out, and splash some water on my face. When the woman behind the counter asked me how I was doing, I told her I'd been having a rough day. Her response was so deeply kind and caring that I started crying again -- this time happy tears. Then I talked to my mom and my sister and they were so full of grace and understanding even though when I'm feeling fragile I can be taut and combative.... and self-centered. 

This minimalist nomad life is (for me) so fabulous and dreamy that I can't believe it's real sometimes. It just feels so wonderful that we created this and get to create it every day. But it can also be hard; it can be challenging in the way that all unconventional lifestyles are. Creating this every day, putting myself out there as an author, coach, and consultant takes constant creativity, focus, unshakable confidence, and an ability to wear a stunning variety of hats. I love it, and I'm so grateful for the opportunities I've been given to live this life. But sometimes life is hard... and I have a day where moisture builds up behind my eyes... a lot.

So this afternoon I'm grateful for the Large Graces of caring family + friends and strangers in coffee shops.  With gratitude, I can create anything I can imagine, and I do. You can too.

2016 Year in Review (Plus Writing + Coaching Brags)

Happy new year! I'm still allowing myself to say that even though there is only one day left in January of 2017.

In 2016 I continued my hiatus from blogging except for micro entries on my Instagram account. It doesn't feel as important to share, connect, and analyze my experiences when living in the US compared to living overseas. My life experience here seems to have a lot more in common with that of family and friends, many of whom also live in the U.S. or have spent a great deal of time in this country. Also, blogging just for fun (as a hobby) has fallen down my priorities list since becoming a parent in late 2014. If life were to take us abroad again, I'm not sure I could maintain the blogging schedules I used to keep pre-baby.

Still, I wouldn't want to skip my year-in-review tradition since I've done it now for the years 2012, 2013, 2014, and 2015. This will be a very edited overview.  Here's a bullet list so you can scroll down to the parts that interest you most:

• 2016: A few memories and events by month (with photos)

• 2016: My writing and coaching brags

• 2017 Plans and possibilities

Memories by month

I have selected just a few highlights to mention for each month.

January

We enjoyed selecting a Hollywood apartment; we contacted our old landlord and were able to move back into the same charming complex where we met in 2010. My mom was so supportive and flew from NC to help us with the move.  

Prince Charming took a work trip to Indonesia.

It was great to reconnect with our California friends this month.

February

Making new mommy friends and joining a "mommy and me" belly dance class with Bump.

March

A tough month. I locked Bump in the car. Everything turned out okay as roadside assistance came to our aid. Thankfully it wasn't a hot day.

Also, we made the difficult decision to find a new home for Jelly Bean. We couldn't take care of her in the way she really needed to be cared for.

We said goodbye and found a great organization that flies Canaan dogs and Canaan dog mixes to places better suited to their need for lots of space. She was quickly adopted by a new family and now lives in Washington State.

April

We took a fun family trip to San Francisco where we visited the SF zoo for one of the most vibrant zoo days i've ever had. The tigers were pacing, the lions were roaring, and the monkeys were swinging. It was really fun and cold.

We got to see my cousin Charlie who has started a successful craft-beer distributing company. 

We caught up with Uncle Jeff and took a special picture. I noticed when visiting my Grammy that her baby pictures of her son Jeff (my uncle) look a lot like Bump. So I theorize that when Bump grows up he will look a lot like his handsome great Uncle Jeff:

May

I started learning more about my family's bicycle company, Cruzbike, and doing lifestyle consulting for their customers. I call and email people interested in the bikes and help connect them to test rides and decide which bike is right for their lifestyle. I'll post a photo later in this blog post of me riding a Cruzbike, the world's fastest and healthiest bikes. 

This month I also got to see the Los Angeles premiere of a film made by one of my classmates and friends from the 2007 Act One screenwriting program -- the first class I did when I moved to LA and the community that helped me feel supported during my transition to living in LA after college. His movie was hilarious and I hope it will lead to more film making opportunities for him. It was great have an Act One mini-reunion and catch up with some old friends I hadn't seen in years.

June

See all the bridges in the photo below? Yes, that's a sign we're in Portland, Oregon, where my friend Liz lives. It was wonderful to meet her new baby (#2) and chase our toddlers around.

July

July brought a family reunion in Vermont and lots of Cruzbike fun.

I also celebrated my birthday with neighbors and friends. My belly dance teacher and dear friend Katya danced with me in my dining room:

August

Bump had been obsessed with his space shuttle replica toy, so in August we took him to see the real thing, the shuttle Endeavor at the Califoria Science Center. 

My mom came out west again to watch Bump so Charming and I could take a vacation in Hawaii:

September

Kimberly was traveling through LAX and it worked out that we got to meet during her layover and eat brunch near the airport and then take a picture by the Pacific:

We took a few days as a family to go to Desert Hot Springs ("hot is our middle name" is the town motto).  We enjoyed stargazing and hanging out by the pool. We drove by the smelly but beautiful Salton Sea at sunset:

October

I traveled to Cincinnati for the recumbent bicycle convention. 

I'm proud to work with my wonderful family and sell the world's fastest, safest, healthiest bicycles to a growing tribe of eccentric and sexy athletes -- is there a better kind? -- many of whom have come back from overwhelming physical injuries to ride much faster than most cyclists ever will. 

I also started a new creative project this month. I think we need more images of breastfeeding to normalize it in our society so I'm creating a breastfeeding awareness calendar. I'm looking for 10 more volunteer mommy-child teams to be part of this project. Let me know if you want in. 

November

Birthday month for Bump. I celebrated two years of this life with my sweet genius 2-year old. Sometimes I whisper in his ear before I put him down to sleep,"thank you for being here." I just can't believe how wonderful he his and some part of me believes that he got to pick me, to choose us, to select this particular adventure and that he still remembers that brochure and making these trip arrangements.

Oh yeah. November was the election too. I don't keep my political views a secret. I'm disappointed by the results and feeling anxious about what direction things are going in here in the U.S.

December

Three dear friends came to visit me in LA and we celebrated Julie (below left) on her birthday with gourmet tacos and palm trees and the beach.

We went to visit family in North Carolina -- a nice long trip -- over the holidays. My family has been wonderful supportive during the adjustment to parenthood. 

We relaxed, ate, relaxed some more, and I got pranked a little when my dad and brother showed me a mockumentary about dragons that I thought was true.

After Christmas it was birthday celebration time again.

I baked a cake for Prince Charming's late December birthday.  I relish celebrating my brilliant poetry major husbands birthday (which is sort of torture to him). Today I am especially grateful for (and apt to brag about) his location-independent work building nonprofit programs to help refugees. Did you know he played a key role in saving a program in Los Angeles to help persecuted members of religious minority groups immigrate to safety in the USA? He has saved so many lives. He just keeps going in his low-key way. No big deal.  My hero.

___

My writing and coaching brags

I had a lot of fun with my writing and coaching in 2016. I collaborated on a great screenplay project. I got paid to create an original superhero with a backstory for a comic book universe. I helped train a team of storytellers who used their skills and talents to raise over $48,000 for brain cancer research as they documented the 2016 Race Across America. 

I still enjoy making passive and semi-passive income from my Simple Living Toolkit books and courses, and the Minimalist Living community has grown every year.

"I would NEVER have been able to do in many weeks what Genevieve accomplished practically overnight."

I really enjoyed continuing to coach and encourage writers and artists throughout 2016, and at the end of the year, I got to see the fruit of some of that time spent when one of my author contacts published her updated book manuscript with my support. She kindly wrote:

"When people talk about having the right person come in to your life at the right time, Genevieve was true to her word and took me by the hand and made my book happen! I would NEVER have been able to do in many weeks what Genevieve accomplished practically overnight. The book is available on Amazon.com, is being downloaded almost daily, and I've regained confidence to get the next project going."

Scroll down for more on the topic of coaching and publishing.

2017 plans and possibilities

 I'll wrap up with website updates and general thoughts for what 2017 may bring for us as a family and for my writing and coaching.

Website and blog updates coming in 2017

As you can see, you are reading this blog at a new URL. I am moving my blog content from my old site (Packing Lust) over to this site since I'm changing the hosting platform and am ready for a web home renovation. Hopefully it will go well and you'll see my archive happily hosted on this site soon.  

I experiment with different web site products because I always want to simplify my web maintenance and I like to keep things feeling fresh around here. I'm experimenting this year with using Squarespace as my new hosting provider and site builder. I'm hoping this will streamline my website maintenance. I got frustrated with WordPress since it seemed like I was constantly needing to be updating plugins or fixing something buggy.

In 2017 I'll be posting here about writing, publishing and coaching, as well as posting the occasional travel, family, or life update.

Some 2017 predictions and possibilities

I've grown wary of making yearly goals or resolutions publicly because either a) I get disappointed when they don't happen, or b) something totally unexpected happens and I want to embrace the new adventure that has arrived.  I've learned to deeply savor the present moments and meanings as they come.

Our family has faced a lot of uncertainty over the past two years. I predict we will soon be entering another nomadic phase so the future is delightfully uncertain. Well, I guess I'd like some certainty at some point. Certainty could be delightful. As ever, we'll see. Right now I'm really enjoying the adventure of looking into the unknown. Someone recently asked me, "But don't you want to have a community, roots, support, something settled?" And the answer is yes, I do, but I also have the bug -- the travel/nomad bug. And it hasn't gone away yet. So I try to find some kind of balance between growing roots and exploring new places. I'm grateful there is technology that allows me to access my support system and keep up with friends all over the world.

I hope that whatever this year brings, I  keep writing. In 2016 I wrote 128,187 words in my journal. While I didn't publish any books, I'm grateful for journaling. So far the first month of 2017 has gone well with my writing. I have intended to publish two books a year for the past several years and failed on that, but I keep writing and publishing in some form over the years whether it's on Amazon, my blog, Facebook or Instagram. 

This could be a breakthrough year for my writing and publishing and that of others in my writing community. Perhaps this year I will publish one book. Maybe two. I feel that in 2017 it's important for me to defeat what Steven Pressfield called "Resistance," which for me is mostly comprised of the fear that what I write won't help anyone. I want to remember that if my writing helps, uplifts, or connects to anyone -- even just one person -- it is worth the time, effort, and risk of putting my words out there. I am so grateful for the support of my family, friends, and all the writers and creatives who support and encourage me as a writer and storyteller.  We are all connected and we are here for each other.

I find more and more meaning in giving back by supporting and coaching creatives, which leads me to...

My work with writers and creatives

I'll be doing more writer- and creative-coaching with a special focus on self-publishing in 2017 so check back here soon as I'll get new coaching information and payment pages active just as soon as I can. 

Best wishes for a creative and powerful 2017!

Follow me (@Genevievewrites) on Instagram!

Packing Lust and Nesting

I skipped posting on the last full moon -- the first one of 2016. Why? -- a combination of forgetting and then feeling too busy to post. Last year it was fun to post on or before the full moon -- at least once a month. That was less frequently than I was posting when I started Packing Lust in June 2012, when we were just starting off on our adventure of living overseas. Around once a month felt about right for last year, the big year of being a new parent.

After moving to Los Angeles just a few days before Christmas 2015, there's been a lot going on. We lived in a temporary furnished apartment near the La Brea Tar Pits (which was awesome -- not the pits at all) for a few weeks before finding a charming apartment mere feet from the spot Prince Charming and I met in 2010. We couldn't resist living in and around the same apartment complex where we fell in love, not to mention the fact that we have dear friends who live walking distance away. This building is almost 100 years old and the place itself has needed a bit more work to make it clean and functional than a newer place would.

There's more too. With every move, I've handled the instability and unknown somewhat well. But this last move has been harder than the little temporary moves before it that helped us to adjust to life back in the states. Since I know we're going to be here for at least a year, I have plans. I've been nesting. And I've put a lot of pressure on myself to get and keep my home cleaned, childproofed, painted, decorated, etc. And it's still not done... even though we've been here for almost a month. Which is pretty normal, except that I feel like I've dropped my writing, this blog, and everything else to work on it. I definitely overestimated the amount of projects I could get done while also making sure my 14-month-old isn't running around with scissors in one hand and a knife in the other. And while making sure that I don't miss his adorable smiles, games of peekaboo, and delightful discoveries.

Now I'm feeling overwhelmed and sort of stagnant at the same time. I need to give us more time to settle in and find more patience with the process.

Missing my normal full moon post last month made me realize I needed to think about when and what I want to post on Packing Lust in 2016. So I'm going to keep thinking about what I want to make of this blog in this new year. Until then, Packing Lust will be on hiatus.

I like having this blog as a way to share photos and stories in packing, travel, and adventures. It's been a sort of family photo album, a way to stay in touch with anyone who wants to, and place to practice writing. But I'm not sure that with everything already on my plate there's room for it right now. We'll see.

I'm hoping to continue to share some of our adventures and simple living toolkit stuff on social media, so make sure you're following me on Instagram if you want to keep in touch for right now.

2015 in Review (and Favorite Books)

It's time to sum up the year on Packing Lust! This is my fourth year doing this, and it's one of my favorite ways to get the big picture and remember the year as a whole. In 2015, we didn't travel outside of the U.S., however we certainly did some significant traveling and moving within the states. It was a family-focused year as we learned to parent and watch Bump thrive over the course of his first year of life. Our doggie, Jelly Bean, spent a few months living with my parents and then reunited with us in Washington, D.C. in October. At the end of the year we moved again (yes, just a couple days ago) and we're having fun in our new city.

Favorite Books

Of the dozens of books I read this year, my top three favorites were:

1. Dying to Be Me -- A kind of spiritual-health memoir by Anita Moorjani about her near death experience and subsequent speedy healing from cancer. She shares her unusual experience in vivid and convincing detail and what she learned about the importance of living fearlessly and as true to her self as possible.

2. Me Before You: a Novel -- I've read two Jojo Moyes books and both placed one of their main characters in the type of ethical quandary that most of us will never have to experience. This one is about the relationship between a paralyzed man with a death wish and one of his caretakers. I loved the masterful storytelling and the way it helped me see the central question from several perspectives.

3. Life in Motion: an Unlikely Ballerina -- Misty Copeland's memoir reveals her journey to become the first African-American principal dancer at the American Ballet Theatre.  I loved the window into the life of an elite dancer driven by the pursuit of excellence. Most of us will never experience being a prodigy in anything; this books lets you share the excitement of being 14 and discovering that you are one of the world's most naturally talented ballerinas. I was also impressed with the storytelling; it manages to be a page-turner even though we already know the happy ending to the story. I laughed; I cried. At one point I had to put the book down and dance alone in the room just to express the triumph I shared with her. This book is for anyone who ever worked hard on a dream and had to overcome unexpected obstacles to achieve excellence.

By Month

January

Having had baby boy Bump in late November 2014, I was two things: A) tired and B) excited to maintain my writing habit and keep the creative juices flowing.

To help out with A) I featured a guest post on creating a digital vision board to inspire your travel dreams and B) I did a 7-day blogging challenge.

February

My only post for February was a 2014 year in review piece. I guess I was still sleep-deprived from those early months as a new parent.

March

This month I launched SimpleLivingToolkit.com where I help people to declutter and join the simple living movement. I kept getting advice to narrow down/focus what I do to help people with my business (it's so hard when I do a variety of things, both to help people and just to express my creativity) so this new website was my answer. Join other simple living enthusiasts by signing up here.

April

This month I felt that it was time to share what I'd learned about about two things. One: self-publishing. Two: keeping things simple (stuff-wise) when you have a baby. Check out the very shareable "Minimalist Baby" list.

May

This month we took a romantic-foodie trip to Myrtle Beach while my parents took care of Bump. Fun and yummy. Another fun outing was the Dance of the Spring Moon powwow.

Also this month I launched my "Start a Daily Writing Habit" email coaching series. It's awesome and a great way to kick start yourself if you want to write more in 2016.

June

I posted my first and only packing related piece this year in June. It's about how you pack differently when you become a mommy and how certain things are less glamorous than... I thought they would be. I also blogged about a couple trips I took to Charleston, South Carolina.

July

We moved from Lumberton, NC, to Arlington, VA and I wrote about the ups and downs of big city life with a baby.

I reflected on how simple living lets me enjoy textures and details.

August

Though my book on habits to help you make money from your creativity is very behind schedule, I did work on it this year with additional research. I posted this month and later in the year when I found articles about creativity and about the changing landscape of making money as a creative.

Don't worry ; I didn't let the year go by without publishing. Prince Charming and I co-wrote a book called Simple Kitchen and published it this month to Amazon Kindle and Audible. It's a quick read you'll want to check out if you like keeping things simple in the kitchen without sacrificing the cooking experience.

After moving to the Washington, D.C. area last month, we enjoyed exploring our new city including a trip to Teddy Island.

At the end of the month, Bump (his nickname on the blog) turned 9 months old and we took photos in a park in our Rosslyn neighborhood in Arlington, Virginia. I shot more people too.

September

We explored the Washington, D.C. area. You know us; it was all about the food.

 Creative types may enjoy my notes on an interview that Elizabeth Gilbert gave in which she talked about fear and creativity and being a grown-up.

October

We moved within the D.C. metro area from Arlington, Virginia to the Columbia Heights area of Washington.

I traveled to Black Mountain, North Carolina, reuniting with a bunch of family on my mom's side to celebrate my grandmother's 80th's birthday.

November

We enjoyed exploring our neighborhood of Washington (Columbia Heights) on foot and living car-free. On the blog, I wrote about a memory of a snow ball fight I had back in Palestine in 2013. Bump turned one this month and started walking just before he hit that milestone birthday.

December

We moved to Los Angeles on the eve of Christmas Eve. Now, rather unexpectedly, but very happily, we're back in the city where Prince Charming and I met over five and a half years ago. I'm looking forward to what life in this city over the next year brings.

My Snowball Fight in Palestine

Late 2013

I was out walking in the snow when I saw a group of young men who made me begin to doubt the wisdom of my strol.

They emerged from a hookah joint housed in the bottom floor of a large buildin in downtown Ramallah, the seat of the government of Palestine. I was the only woman around, the only person around on the deserted, snow-gray streets. Just me and the red-eyed men rifting out of the café toward me.

It had been snowing for days. All across the West Bank, there was an extended power outage. People washed with water heated on a gas stove and huddled around their propane heaters. We had two; the larger one we lovingly called our R2D2, and the smaller one we delighted in calling by the brand name etched onto its metal plate: ORGAZ. I was still cold. No matter how many blankets I layered around me or heaters I crouched in front of, my feet and nose stayed cold. I was angry cold. Bored cold.

The anger, fueled by the cold and pent-up energy, made me feel restless and twitchy.  I bundled up, put some plastic bags over my shoes to help keep the hree feet of snow out, and announced to Prince Charming that I was going for a walk. I left with a quick "bye!" without giving him much time to respond. I heard him manage to eke out a "be safe!" and I was off.

My cabin fever was quickly replaced by wonder. Glittering snow banks smothered the garden and turned trees into bowing swans. Getting from our apartment's vestibule to the street was tricky. I had to find a way around and through the snow banks. Having grown up mostly in moderate climes where a few inches of snow a year was the norm, I had no snow-walking skills to draw from. Each step I took was a new experience. My foot would sink down six inches, then when I lifted up the other foot that first one would sink down another ten inches into the snow. I hobbled my way out to the street, where the snow was less thick and a truck had made a pack-snow indentation I could follow.

I threw my head back and gazed at the sky to take in the joy of being outdoors, finally. It was still snowing, gently, not the thick blizzard of the last few days. When I got to the main street, I could turn left, or I could turn right. Left would take me away from the city center. Right would take me towards the city center, Al-Manara, where there's a monument with four stone lions that has become the iconic backdrop to many Palestinian protests against the Israeli occupation. I turned right. The city was feeling a little post-apocalyptic-deserted, and I was hoping I'd bump into someone in the center, anyone, a friendly face. I imagined we'd gesticulate to each other about the eauty of the now; it would be easy even though we might not speak the same language.

But instead of a friendly face, I saw the men. Unsmiling young men, maybe seven, with more behind them, jacked up on icotine. One puff on a hookah pipe was, I'd heard, the equivalent of smoking a bundle of ten cigarettes, so if they'd been smoking all morning, well, it was s if they' alread smoked hundreds of cigarette that da. Restless energy coursed through their wiry bodies. I'd heard these oung en called "shebab." I wasn't sure what it meant. It seemed to denote "outh," but the connotation was "unemployed, disenfranchised, hopeless, able-bodied oys and men who must roam the streets because they have nothing else to do." As they emerged from the café, I was reminded of a scene from the 2007 movie I Am Legend, where Will Smith's character is stalked by bloodthirsty mutants who hibernate in clusters in dark corners of the city. They moved slowly in my direction, as if meandering, but their bloodshot eyes, I noticed, were intensely focused. On me.

Suddenly I felt very self-conscious. Afraid. My active imagination quickly supplied me with headlines of the "Brutal Gang Rape" variety. I had a friend who'd been sexually harassed on the street not far from here I was. I looked around, behind me. No one. Just me and the shebab grouping. Get a grip, I thought. These are not bloodthirsty mutants. These are people, just like me, curious. It's human curiosity to want to see the foreigr alking by herself in the snow.

ut I had to take action. I couldn't continue my walk nwards, knowing I was getting farther from home and that I'd have to walk past the shebab again on my way back. I'd be scared the whole time. I couldn't turn around either, not without an interaction. I didn't know how they'd take it. It might be okay. Or they might follow me back, harassing me the whole way, finding out where I lived. They might just leave me alone, thinking I was scared of them, which was true.

Either way, they'd have effectively ruined my stroll, and the thought made me angry. I wasn't going to let these guys ruin my outing. I was so tired of sticking out on the street, of being the foreigner, of being looked at with an inscrutable combination of lecherousness and discomfort. I was an oddball. An American woman who wasn't afraid to go jogging on the streets, show my knees, or yell curse words at wayward bus drivers.

So I bent down, packed some snow together, and, smiling, hurled ball of snow at the man closest to me.

My snowball glanced off his legs. is reaction took a moment. Surprise. Then delight. Whether malicious or kind, I couldn't tell.

I was betting that the bridge-building power of a good snowball fight was universal. e gathered up a snowball of his own, and pitched. is was no lo. The speed ball hit me square in the face, the impact leaving me breathless. I couldn't feel my mouth or nose anymore. When sensation started to come back, everything stung. I tried to smile, hoping that's what my mouth was doing; I still couldn't really feel my face. Bleak pain. Oppressed young men of the West Bank have one weapon left. One way to fight back, vent frustration, protest, cause damage. Stone throwing. They learn young and, as observed by horrified Israelis, can do impressive damage and some even claim there have been several deaths resulting from stone throwing.  I'd picked a snowball fight wit throwin experts. I gathered my second snowball and made what I was hoping would be seen as a spirited throw, a game attempt by the obvious underdog. But instead of cheering me on, one of the bystanders joined his fellow shebab and chucked another snowball at me. Then a third joined the fight against me. At this rate I'd be unconscious within moments, was my only slightly hyperbolic thought.

I had to win allies, and fast. I opened my arms wide, palms up, trying to figure out how to get some of these guys on my team. My Arabic was meager at best, but in the moment I remembered how to ask for help. I tried the phrase, pointing to two others who hadn't gotten involved so far. I gestured, inviting them to my side. I tried to say some numbers I'd learned, Arabic to express that I needed more people I my team.

They understood. I could see it click: of course. A fair fight. Three against three. Quickly a couple of them joined my side scooping up snow and throwing icy projectiles at the other shebab.

Chivalry wasn't dead. Disparity would be addressed. Justice might win.

I exhaled a huge sigh of relief. And despite my aching face and earlier apprehension, I started to have fun. More customers of the hookah cafe joined both teams.

After what I shall diplomatically refer to as a tie, we ended the game. Our hands were cold, blood was pumping, spirits were high. We were all one team, just a group of young people playing in the snow. I waved goodbye, said "Ma'a Salama."

I walked home no longer angry cold or bored cold. I'd found a friendly face. More than one.

"Make a Plan to do Something that You'll Enjoy"

bench

looking back

on a rock

On October 3rd, my maternal grandmother, Peggy Paparella, celebrated her 80th birthday. As you can see from these photos, she's vibrant and beautiful (with remarkably great legs) at this age and seems ready to take on a new decade. She has filled her life with love, creativity, service, and travel, and plans to keep doing what she's doing.  (It's working, after all.) She seems to really enjoy her life and the love she shares with my grandpa, who she's been married to for fifty-five years.

Grandma has figured out how to wed her creativity with her desire to be of service. She does this in several ways. She gave birth to six children, which any parent will tell you, demands a great many acts of service. Nowadays her creativity takes the form of cooking, baking, sewing, crocheting, knitting, and crafting. She donates many of her hand-made items to be sold at auction to benefit the local Hospice. Other items she gives away to one of her thirty-one descendants.

big smile

pretty close up

So how is it possible to be so prolific while maintaining her energy and joy? Grandma hasn't always had an easy life, and her childhood and adolescence was difficult at times. Yet she rarely complains. She practices kindness and forgiveness and has a soft, tender heart. Grandma also has a very active spiritual life, praying many times a day and starting each day with a written back-and-forth conversation with Jesus. In my family we say "if Grandma's praying for you, watch out." God seems to listen to her more than the rest of us, so if I have a tough situation, I call up Grandma and Grandpa and I don't even have to ask; I know they are praying for me. For years they were praying for my future husband, so you know I'm not kidding around when I discuss the efficacy of their prayers and the special place Grandma has in God's heart.

Grandma credits her physical health to "living with a man who likes to eat well and eat healthily," which makes her want to eat healthily too. She said this with the barest hint of chagrin; grandma's love for bread, pasta, and sweets is well known and has been passed along to many of her progeny.

She keeps things low stress, and says she doesn't have much anxiety in her life, except, she adds with a twinkle in her eye, when Grandpa is driving their big RV, which is one of their favorite ways to travel.

She also keeps her mind active by reading a lot. She recently told me she'd just gotten back from the library with a huge stack of books, which she'll consume quickly. When her supply of unread books starts to dwindle, she starts getting nervous about running out of reading material.  She wrote me that, "Time to read a good book is one pleasure that I reward myself after I get my work done on some days.  Other days it could be a craft project or baking cookies or knitting something special for the great grand babies."

daisy in hand

She says "A wise woman once told me, wake up in the morning and make a plan to do something that you'll enjoy."  This idea of having something planned each day that you can look forward to, a way to get back the sparkle when life seems dull, exhausting, or depressing, has stuck with Grandma and helped her stay happy.

sunshine

Union Market DC, a Foodie Oasis in a Forlorn Area

Obviously, someone has a plan.

The renewed Union Market in DC is the beginning of a plan to revitalize the surrounding historic area, a thriving market for most of the 1900's, fallen since the 1980's into a state of sad dilapidation.

It's the sparkling, almost-trying-too-hard-to be-cool center of an area filled with falling down warehouses, their alleys perfumed with urine. The site, UnionMarketDC.com says the plan is that the area "surrounding the market will be a vibrant mix of retail, restaurants, hotel, entertainment, incubator space for new food concepts as well as retail and wholesale space."

It hasn't happened yet, though that didn't stop us from pushing the baby stroller through rather pedestrian-unfriendly streets to enjoy the delicious offerings of the restaurants and shops inside on two occasions  - once in August and once in September.

All the beautiful food inspired a brief but shining period that had me baking bread daily for almost a week and enjoying it like this:

That looks good. Maybe I'll bake bread today. It's been a while.

Elizabeth Gilbert on Fear, Paradox, and Being a Grown Up

I listened to every heart-grabbing minute of this interview. It hits the bullseye of what I believe about creativity and fear and taking smart, measured risks with your creativity.

If you don't want to watch all 47 minutes, 57 seconds of this interview and you'd rather read my notes, this is for you.

Why You Aren't Moving Ahead on Your Creative Project

• People come up with all sorts of rationalizations
• These reasons for not doing it all sound so logical and reasonable
• The underlying reason you aren't moving ahead with your book/painting/etc., according to Elizabeth Gilbert's vast experience of deep conversations with creatives, is fear.
• Some people are afraid that it's all been done before and they want to be original.
• It HAS all been done before. But it's never been done by you.
• Marie Forleo: "Everything is a Remix," I think it's a book to check out.
• There is nothing truly original because we are creative creatures, there are billions of us, and we've been creating for millenia.
• Do it anyway because, paradoxically, since you are unique, you can make something original. It will, however, always be a twist on, or at least contain references to something else.

How to Conquer Fear

• Don't try.
• Treat fear as a respected friend whose job it is to keep you safe.
• Bring fear along for the ride but don't let fear make any decisions about what you create.
• Fear thinks uncertainty will be the death of you, and it's job is to prevent your death.
• Creativity is all about uncertainty, so that's why fear speaks. Say, "thank you for protecting me but I'm just writing a poem. It's not going to kill me."

What it Takes to Live an Enduringly Creative Life

• Even your dream career comes with "shit sandwiches," (i.e., rejection letters and mean comments on social media) so get ready to eat some. If you're unwilling to eat the shit sandwiches that come with your dream, then you probably haven't picked the right dream because you will happily eat the shit sandwiches if you really love the creative work.
• Following our creative bliss promises joy and fun, not financial gain
• We're all grownups here, so let's talk about this:
• Take big risks (sell the farm, quit your job) for your creativity only to the point where if you fail totally and lose it all, you won't be embittered or so broken you won't be able to try again in the near future. Throw yourself into your creativity without risking so much (time, money, relationships) that failure breaks your spirit.
• This conversation about going for it - within limits specific to your life -  doesn't happen enough.
• Failure is part of it and shouldn't be shameful.
• Most life coaches, etc, just say "go for it!"  But inspiration never promises to pay our bills. Inspiration promises us the wild ride of our lives. The results MIGHT pay the bills sometimes but don't quit if it doesn't.
• Elizabeth wants to change the bumper sticker from "Leap and the net will catch you, to "Leap and the net MIGHT catch you."
• Leap any way. Just be happy to pick yourself back up and dust yourself off.
• Marie Forleo worked "day jobs" (bartending, etc.) for seven years before her creativity-based business could support her. Now it brings in millions annually. She kept taking the right kind of risk, which is the one that lets you keep risking even if (when) you fail and fail.
• I'm good at doing this and love coaching creatives to walk this line.

How to Beat Perfectionism

As my mother always taught me, done is better than good.

Elizabeth Gilbert

• Yet again it all comes down to fear.
• Often perfectionists don't finish things. Worse, they often don't start them for fear of making crap.
• Self-forgiveness is what will get you to finish your creative project, not rigor. (SO TRUE!)
• We all think that first day of writing, that first novel, whatever, is crap, something to be ashamed of when we look back from the perspective of writing on day two or the second novel.
• "You forgive yourself for disappointing yourself... and you go and you do more. And that's it." - Elizabeth Gilbert

Play with Paradox

• The paradox of creating is that you love your work and think it's precious, but simultaneously you must be able to be cavalier toward it. Trash a beautiful sentence you wrote if it's not working for the whole paragraph.
• Once a book is published, let it go. It is not you. It's not your baby. It's out there in the world. Move on. Paradox: it totally is your baby, of course.
• Another paradox is around helping people. Do your work if it brings you joy. It's great if it ends up helping people, but don't set out to serve.  (Note from me: serve by teaching if you have students, but when you create, just do it for fun.)
• Eat, Pray, Love, was written for fun at a time when her life was a "hot mess." It ended up helping people but she certainly didn't write it from a desire to serve.

I have paid hundreds -- probably thousands -- of dollars for seminars on writing and creativity that don't do as good a job dealing with the voices of fear and inspiration in your head, so if this interview seems up your alley, you'll love watching the full video. There was also a section around minute 25 on the interview where they go fairly deep about preparing to for a public speaking gig (with Oprah). That's worth a listen if you are a speaker or performer.

This interview was centered around Elizabeth Gilbert's latest book: