My Birthday Letter

As a birthday present to myself, I thought I’d write an open letter to the girls of the world. This is inspired by a special CNN did called Girl Rising where anyone could submit an open letter to the girls of the world via their website. That project is now closed, but I continue to be inspired reading letters from the likes of Christiane Amanpour, Queen Rania of Jordan, America Ferrera, Gloria Steinem, and other celebrated women.

Posted here exclusively is my letter:

Dear Girls of the World,

Some of you will eschew the word “feminist” because you believe in equality between the genders. “Feminism” sounds, and is sometimes used contextually, as if it condones world domination by women. A better substitute is the word gylany, which means a society based on equality between the genders.

Most of us do not live in a gylanist society, but we are growing that way and there is much you can do to foster it. Here are twelve of my suggestions for doing so.

  1. Think freely and for yourself; you don’t have to take my suggestions or anyone else’s.
  2. Learn to love reading; continue to read and learn for your whole life.
  3. If you rail against emulating your culture’s female role models or icons, find a new role model or create your own in the powerful realm of your imagination.
  4. Travel. The world is, in general, a less scary place than you may have been raised to believe.
  5. You can do it all, but not at the same time. Commit to a goal, and see it through without distraction. Commitment dispels the confusion you might feel about what you are supposed to do in the world. You cannot make a wrong choice about this.
  6. Seek a variety of friends from backgrounds that are different than yours; talk with friends more often about ideas rather than about other people.
  7. You can live your life the way you so desire it. Don’t let anyone take away the pen that writes your own life story; it is yours alone.
  8. Beware of gurus who tell you the world is black and white, with clear cut rules for right and wrong;  especially beware of anyone touting rules about your sexuality or body.
  9. Exercise; dance; be athletic; learn martial arts or self defense.
  10. Remember that everyone is doing their very best, especially when it doesn't seem like it.
  11. Seek to grow, connect, and contribute; that’s what we are here on this planet to do.
  12. Love without fear, and never be ashamed of who and what you love.

Love_Genevievesmoothsmallerer

Heroes and Villains

Sunday, May 26, was a lazy day for me and Prince Charming. We had some movies lined up to watch, and the first was a documentary called Five Broken Cameras. Just a couples hours later I've still got post-cry shakes. However, I also feel very glad that this documentary exists, because the end is hopeful, and the story is so human.

It's about a Palestinian man, a peasant who lives off the land, and gets a camera to film his kids childhood. His youngest son is the cutest little guy ever, and I fell in love with him over the course of the documentary.

The story is told through the five cameras he gets in succession, each after the last one is broken, often by a flying gas canister or related accident. Through these five lenses, we see what the camera saw in its life, and we see the story of how each camera met its end. Of course, what we are really seeing is the story of the families in this Palestinian village that is on the edge of several Israeli settlements. We see the wall go up, and we see the olive trees burned over and over by the settlers at night. We see the soldiers come to the homes at night to take children. We see people tear gassed, we see them throw rocks, and we see a man committed to nonviolent resistance gradually become scarred and angry as he sees what is happening around him. We also see, most hopefully, that he is always trying to heal in the best way he knows how.

I loved this film as a reminder that we must heal ourselves and each other, and to heal we must, like a doctor, first see the wounds. We must be witness for each other to the atrocities that take place in our lives.

Once you've seen the wounds in Five Broken Cameras, go watch another film. This one was part of a coaching training program in leadership, indirect negotiation and strategic intervention. Anthony Robbins has been studying what makes people change their lives for a good for many years now.

He had a conference on leadership planned on September 11, 2011. Instead of canceling after the terrorist attacks, he somehow got people to stand up and really speak the truth about how they felt about the event. There was a Muslim man who got up and said "this is retribution." Well, of course many people wanted to attack him, and even tried to there at the conference. One man, an Orthodox Jew with relatives in the West Bank (fundamentalist settlers - the kind of people who burn Palestinian olive trees) got up and offered to talk peacefully with the Muslim man.

Robbins led an indirect negotiation between the two men ON 9/11 itself that transformed both of them. They formed a Jewish-Muslim organization for understanding and peace.

I laughed and cried watching that film. It's called Negotiating Conflict: Leadership in Times of Crisis. According to this website it's available in full-length for free, although you can watch a 7 minute summary here.

We all wonder how peace will come to the Middle East and other areas of ethnic and religious conflict. The sorts of transformative moments shown and experienced by the viewer in these two films is our only hope for peace.

And now may I bring you from May to July?

A few days ago:

"What do you think happened? It had to be something tragic." I looked at my American friend, who has lived in Palestine for much longer than I have.

"I don't know. Something beyond tragic, I think," she said, looking at me intently.

I didn't know exactly what she was getting at, but I did know that is not what you say when someone loses a child. Losing a child is tragic, and one of the worst things that could happen to a parent. I could think of few things beyond tragic.

We were talking about a mutual acquaintance we both saw on occasion, ____ , a woman who lives in a nearby village. We had both known _____ to be cheerful, with a quick and genuine smile. Although she spoke little English, I enjoyed when I got to see her, since she would always communicate through her shy, dazzling smile. Knowing that she was a poor, kind, and intelligent woman who worked hard to support her special needs daughter and her dissolute husband only made me admire her more.

The last time I saw her, she tried to smile as usual. And her mouth moved. But her eyes failed to hide a pain that was too big to push behind a smile. I am haunted by that telling look - her attempt to smile as I said goodbye to her.

"I think someone must have done something to her child," my American friend said.

At first, I was confused. But then I realized -- "If her child had died, she would have just told us."

"Yeah."

The next day, my American friend looked rather pale, and told me she'd seen an article in the paper. A 14-year old girl from a nearby village had been gang raped by a group of seven men, each between the ages of 17-26.

I grimaced. "That's horrible."

"Have you put it together yet?"

"You think… it was ____'s daughter?" I didn't want to believe it.

"It must be."

"How do you know for sure? We have to find out."

How do you call someone and ask, in imperfect Arabic, if their daughter was recently gang raped? I don't know, but my brave American friend managed it, and later confirmed that the victim was indeed ____'s daughter.

My friend also told me that this group of men had gang raped before. Yet that time, each of the families of the men had paid off the victim's family to not press charges.

The story showing up in the newspaper meant ____ had refused to take a bribe from these seven families and was pressing charges.

I likely don't know all of the ramifications of that decision, but I do know that this poor woman is turning down much needed money to support her daughter and fight for justice. She's making a decision that some other parent her in village did not make for her little girl. She's a hero.

I also know that means there are seven families in her small village who want nothing more than to shut her up. Seven powerful families who are now aligned as her enemy - this poor woman whose special needs daughter was lured into an apartment only to be beaten and raped by their sons.

How can we help her? We are working on connecting her with a lawyer specializing in women's legal aid. My hope for her is that, if she wants it, she can gain refugee or other status that will allow her to leave with her family to start a new life in a place where her daughter won't spend the rest of her life fearing the seven men who will likely not be brought to justice. Then again, we can hope for justice.

And you know I wouldn't leave you without a way to take action - to do something to help ____. The Women's Centre for Legal Aid and Counseling is reaching out to support her. You learn more about them here and donate here.

12 Rituals for Art + Income

12-royal-ritualsI believe that our artistic and financial outcomes are a direct result of our daily, weekly, and monthly habits, or rituals. This belief comes from research and reading in the field of habits and behavior. Even more specifically, through a lifetime of being an artist, being friends with artists, and working with artists, I’ve discovered that there are 12 rituals that, when implemented, lead directly to artistic and financial success. With trumpets and drum rolls, here is a quick summary of the 12 Rituals for Art & Income.

RITUAL 1 — Stretch Your Spirit

Successful artists know that their work comes from a place of love, presence, and mystery. They honor that by getting spiritual: meditating, being in nature, honoring each  and every emotion, and practicing forgiveness and loving kindness.

RITUAL 2 — Commit to Your Creative Ritual

Real artists do their art every day. They know that, as in a relationship, the fires of passion must be stoked daily to grow stronger and stronger.  Making art isn’t just a fun hobby, it’s a commitment. They feel respect for the work and the process of growth. In the words of Steven Pressfield, they “go pro.”

RITUAL 3 — The Heart Habit: Empathy

Making art can be a selfish act, but to make it a loving one, artists cultivate a sense of empathy with their fans/peeps/market/customers. They find out what these folks love and what makes them tick. They talk to them about the art, and about the process. Successful artists communicate with authenticity – vulnerability, even – to their fans.

RITUAL 4 — Take Control of your Time

Never at the whim of others demands on their time, working artists learn to politely say “no” to invitations and demands when their gut instincts aren’t saying “Hell yeah!” This means the artist has plenty of time to make art. To make sure she  does what she says she is going to do, a successful artist keeps an updated and active calendar at all times. She debunks the “flaky creative” myth by finding examples of artists who manage to find the time to have a career, business, family, etc.

RITUAL 5 — Another Heart Habit: Cardio

To avoid burnout and health problems, happy artists exercise daily. They often combine exercise with something that brings them inspiration, such as hiking, dancing, or horseback riding.  For artists predisposed to depression, daily exercise is a vital part of a happy life.

RITUAL 6 — Website Magic

Artists who go pro create websites where customers can experience and purchase their art. When a successful artists has technical difficulties or feels overwhelmed, she seeks help from the Google or the YouTube fairies. She may also ask a friend or hire help with her website.

RITUAL 7 — List Lust: Building an Audience

Modern, entrepreneurial artists know that the best way to communicate with fans is through email. Therefore, their first priority when they meet a new fan is to invite that person to sign up to their email list. A smart artist’s website has plenty of opt-in forms where fans can sign up to get special, personalized communications from the artist.

RITUAL 8 — Abundance Mentality

Wealthy artists purposefully cultivate a sense of financial abundance. They stare down the sneaky “starving artist” myth and debunk it by looking around to find examples of wealthy artists they admire. They have no problem holding down a “bridge job” (one that doesn’t use the same skills that making art requires) while they work on building their art business.

RITUAL 9 — "If You Haven't God Your Health, You Haven't Got Anything"

Knowing how important their health is to their energy level, vitality, creativity, and ability to juggle all the balls that being an artist and entrepreneur requires, healthy artists add on at least one healthy habit per year.

RITUAL 10 — Challenge Your Creative Ritual

Without challenge, a happy artist knows her art will get stale and she will become bored with her work. Therefore, she constantly looks to improve her technique, to seek inspiration and ideas from a variety of sources, and to take classes when necessary. She sees failing as a normal, playful part of becoming a better artist.

RITUAL 11 — Support From Your Court

A happy artist is a well-connected one. She seeks mentorship, coaching, or accountability groups. She purposefully pursues positive friendships and communities that make her feel happy, loved, celebrated, and challenged.

RITUAL 12 — Give Back

A real artist is filled with gratitude and sees the truth of things: we are all dependent on each other for life. Out of her sense of gratitude and abundance, she writes thank you notes, gives gifts, teaches and mentors other artists, and donates to charity.

Take-action-image

 

 

 

Take action on the 12 Rituals today. Which rituals are you working on right now? Which ones are you really good at?

If you have any questions, do let me know and I would love to answer them in the comments area.

I’m here to support, nurture, and inspire you to take the steps you need to make money from your art!

Love_Genevievesmoothsmallerer

4 Keys to Finding People Who Value Your Work

Queen-of-the-Fairies

It’s hard to believe that just 10 days ago I was crewing for a racer in the world’s most grueling (and oddly obscure) athletic event, the Race Across America, or RAAM. RAAM is a bicycle race that takes the insane few who try it from Oceanside, CA to Annapolis, MD as fast as their legs can pedal. Unlike the Tour de France, there are no stages. That’s right, there are no obligatory resting times. Racers stay on their bike a much as possible, and do everything on the bike except sleep. They brush their teeth on the bike, eat on the bike, go to the bathroom on the bike, cry on the bike, laugh on the bike, sing on the bike, and, after days of racing, hallucinate on the bike.

And who was our athlete for RAAM 2013? None other than my mother, Maria Parker, who just turned 50.

Over the course of the race, I helped her eat, bathe, and dress. I woke her in the middle of the night after three hours or less of sleep, and helped her get back on the bike to keep racing.

Daily throughout the race, supporters of Maria and our cause, 3000 Miles to a Cure, grew by leaps and bounds.

THE ACCIDENT

 Then there was an accident — something terrible that we thought was a race-ender.

A distracted driver slammed into our follow vehicle, destroying equipment and morale, and causing minor injuries to the crew.

Everyone thought our race was over – even our crew chief, who called race officials to pull Maria out of the race.

But that post to our community about the accident generated more views than anything else we had posted to our cause’s facebook page. Support came pouring in.

Over the course of the night, into the wee hours of the morning, something shifted. Maria got a good night’s sleep. The team came together; a new plan to continue the race against brain cancer coalesced.

My mom decided she was going to get across the country on her bike, race or no race.

But then something incredible happened. She decided to start exactly at the scene of the accident, instead of skipping that dangerous portion of the road as she had earlier planned to do. And then RAAM officials decided to let her back in the race as an official racer.

CINDERELLA

People all over the world went crazy, calling her story a Cinderella story.

As Maria began passing other racers, RAAM interviewed her and said her race was the greatest comeback story in all of sports.

It was a very difficult race, but she finished it. And she won. Women’s champion, rookie of the year, and “Queen of the Prairies,” which, naturally, I affectionately called “Queen of the Fairies.”

As you are probably figuring out, the jump from athletics to art is merely a small hop.

Finding people who value your work, your cause, or your race, is a matter of knowing four keys. They are simple to say, but extremely difficult to do.

HERE ARE THE FOUR KEYS TO FINDING PEOPLE WHO VALUE YOUR WORK AS AN ARTIST.

  1. Start.
  2. Keep going.
  3. If you quit, start again.
  4. Keep people updated.
  • You’d be surprised how many people never start. How many people say “I’ve always wanted to write a book…” but then they come up with the most creative excuses for why they haven’t done it yet. Starting is everything.
  • Once you start, you have to keep going. The trick here that most people don’t get, is that “keep going” often means starting many times. Most of us take breaks. We start a project and get discouraged, perhaps after a year, or perhaps after a minute.  Each successfully completed project likely had many points where it’s maker wanted to give up. Not only is that ok, but I believe more and more that stalling repeatedly is a natural part of creating anything from a 15 x 50 foot mural to a small business. The trick is to keep going.
  • If you quit, start again. When you finish something, no one accuses you of quitting. Quitting and starting again nullifies the quitting. So if you think you’ve withdrawn from the race, sold your paintbrushes, or burned all of your business bridges, think again. Excuses can be valid and worthy. There’s always an excuse you can come up with and no one would blame you. Everyone would understand. Therefore, you have to be your own greatest challenger. No matter how big your obstacle is, you will always find a way to get through and come out on the other side. Get a good night’s sleep and think fresh creative thoughts in the morning.
  • You can’t find people who value your work if you don’t keep them updated. I can say proudly that of all the teams racing RAAM, 3000 Miles to a Cure did the best job with social media updates. As a result, people felt, and in reality were, a big part of our team’s success.  Our updates were authentic and transparent. And truthfully, without the support of the community we created, I’m not sure my mom would’ve made it up the last four difficult hills in Maryland.  We read her supportive Facebook comments to keep her going. Those supporters knew they were an integral part of Maria’s race because we told them. They’d been with us every pedal push of the way. Even if you have only a few people who value your work, cherish them by keeping them updated – honestly and openly. Let them know about your struggles and joys. People love hearing about projects, goals, and dreams coming true, but they also want to hear about the challenges along the way.

 

 Take Action:

 

Leave a comment below if this resonated with you, and if you have any questions about how to find people who value your work, I will be happy to answer them below.

Let my mom’s race inspire you in your own art-making and selling challenges. I’m here to support, nurture, and inspire you to take the steps you need to make money from your art!

Love_Genevievesmoothsmallerer

Racing Across America

The sun was high in the sky yet, and a beautiful Arizona afternoon blazed around us. The Tuuvi Travel Center in Tuba City was a large, clean, busy gas station, café, and convenience store emblazoned with various Native American themed posters. I had just stocked up on peach rings, peppermint M&M's and lethally spicy Corn Nuts. And some Pepto Bismol for my stomach, which was starting to hurt after a few days of road food. The Race Across America (RAAM) had been everything I expected - challenging, fun, and emotional. And for the racer I was crewing for, my mom, it had been those things to a degree I probably couldn't quite comprehend. She'd had a hard couple of days in the desert, and now had gotten her nutrition right, and was feeling good.
1372749148The media team and I set off, feeling like we were getting good at the pattern of what the race held for us: sleep, wake, catch up with Maria, take videos, photos and get interviews, then race ahead and find a motel with WiFi so we could update Facebook, write press releases, and send out emails about the race.

But we immediately got stopped in traffic behind an RV outside of Tuba City. I could see that the RV was a support vehicle for  a fellow RAAM racer, and when I saw some of the  crew for that racer get out of the vehicle, I decided to go investigate. There had been an accident, the crew told me in their German accents.

They asked me to call 911, so I did. They said "one injured." I glanced up the road and saw a Native American woman sitting in the middle of the road with glass all around her. The German crew members were trying to attend to her as best they could.

I ran back to the media car to give the 911 operator directions about where we were, and then I ran back to the scene of the accident. It was only then that I saw, up ahead on the road, our team's follow vehicle, with the bicycles on the rear smashed in, and our crew sitting on the side of the road.

We'd been hit.

5259289_origI ran up to our follow van, and immediately saw that my mom was safe, and our crew was okay. My brother Will had blood running down his arm and leg, and had a swelling spot on his head, but he was smiling and joking.

My heart soared with gratitude.  My family and team was okay.

The driver who'd hit us was okay too.  Onlookers speculated that she was in shock from the inflation of the airbag, but that other than that, there were no major injuries. I speculate that she may have been drunk or high, because the driving conditions that day were nearly perfect. The sun was behind her, still high in the sky, the road clear and straight. The follow vehicle was plastered at every angle with  warning signs and flashing lights. She told the police she'd been texting right before hitting the van.

Our crew chief immediately called RAAM officials to pull us out of the race, despite my mom's desire to keep racing, and over my protests to wait until morning to make a decision. I knew it was a long race. I knew we had many supporters willing to meet us anywhere, and send us anything. I knew that the middle of the road, with glass and bike parts scattered all around, and three crew members with bleeding wounds, was not a good place to make a clear-headed decision. But our crew chief made the decision, and we gathered as a team, supporting this decision.

Still, as we all sat, dazed, in a hotel lobby discussing where we would sleep and what the next steps were, my heart was heavy. I felt alone in my optimism that we could continue the race.  Everything I believed about rising above obstacles, about continuing despite setbacks, about persistence and heart and fighting it out, Rocky style, was failing. One distracted driver, and the race was already over.  I couldn't believe everyone was willing to give up so easily.  Maria would later say, "What message would we be sending to cancer patients if we quit? What would we be saying to cancer researchers?" I couldn't believe we were letting down brain cancer patients in hospitals all over the world.

During the 90-minute car ride back to Flagstaff with some crew members, I tried discussing the possibility of continuing the race. Each team member in turn stated the reasons they thought it was impossible or ill-advised to continue.

Little did I know that in less than 24 hours, those same team members would be rallying around Maria as she got back on the race course and began to outpace all the competition. They'd figure out creative solutions to all the problems that had loomed so large the night before.

In the morning, Maria hosted a listening session, where each crew member got up and spoke about their ideas for what the cause, 3000 Miles to a Cure, would now look like and their part in it.

Earlier that morning, Maria had been brainstorming with various team members at home and on the road. She wanted to keep going, somehow, even though she knew she was out of the race. She decided that somehow, she'd cycle 3000 miles, even if it took longer than the allotted race time.

After the morning session, several of the most traumatized crew members, including our crew chief, decided to go home. Everyone else said "I'm in," and we talked about what Maria's ride would look like now that it wasn't a race.

Meanwhile, mom, my dad, Jim, and our new crew chief Ted took mom to the junk lot where they tried to salvage tools and equipment from the totaled follow van.  The plan was to drive Maria up the road, past the dangerous stretch where we'd been in the accident. She'd make up the distance later.

But then Maria said "I want to start where we stopped."

And she did. One quick call to race officials, and she was suddenly back in the race.

The media team and took on additional crew duties, so that we were not only documenting what happened, but we were helping Maria race.  The remaining days of the race blur together in a haze of anxiety, adrenaline, and fast food. At night, I awoke to the sound of her keen moans as the pain shooting through her body briefly interrupted her alotted three hours of sleep.

There was also the extreme joy of seeing supporters, many of whom had driven and waited for hours, cheer for her from the side of the road. There were so many kind strangers on the route. My heart overflows thinking about all the people who lost sleep, who baked on the side of a hot road, who gave money to the cause and food and shelter to us.

In the year that this blog has been in existence, I have never skipped a scheduled publishing day.  That is until two weeks ago, when, in the above-mentioned blur, I forgot to post. I hope this heavy-duty post makes up for it.

The sweetest moment  during RAAM was when mom came into the Shell Gas station that marked the end of the her official race. She had almost given up, but that didn't matter. What mattered was she kept going, pushing one pedal down, and then the other. Until she made it.

238454_origMy sister and I got her ready for her parade finish - the last four miles of easy riding to the FINISH canopy by the dock in Annapolis, Maryland. Oh the joy.
494645_origUnbelievably, despite a 24-hour setback, she won overall Women's Champion. She also won Rookie of the Year, the Trane Unstoppable Award, and Queen of the Prairies.
1810021_origI'm so proud of her, and proud of the money we raised for brain cancer research. If you've been following this blog for a while, you know where you can donate and learn more.

I'm so grateful to every member of the team. Each person added something important. Those cheering from home added more than they know. Facebook comments got my mom up those last few big hills in West Virginia and Maryland. I talked to her and read to her through her headset system, so I know that she almost gave up many times. Hearing from the people cheering for her all over the world is what kept her going.

To my mom:  I'm so proud of you for choosing to do something so challenging, for continuing despite setbacks, and for winning the race even when there were people who thought you couldn't do it. You showed the world what heart looks like. I know you didn't do it for the glory; you did it for your sister Jenny, and for cancer patients all over the world. RAAM official media commentators said you had the "heart of a lion" and that yours was a "Cinderella story." It's not always easy being a lion-hearted Cinderella, but you pull it off beautifully. I love you Mom. 

634299_orig

The First Step to Find People Who Value Your Work

  Port_2-600x450Poor Vincent Van Gogh.

When he died at age 37, Wikipedia tells us, “His work was then known to only a handful of people and appreciated by fewer still.”

But did his work find an audience? Are there millions all over the globe who love his art?

Yes. I am one of them and I bet you are too.

It’s too bad he didn’t have internet marketing or a resource like creativity coaching. If he had, he might have been able to feel the fulfillment of knowing that his work was touching millions.

It’s one of my goals with creativity coaching to teach you how NOT to be like Vincent Van Gogh, in the dying-young-and-unappreciated aspect of his life.

Before we had the internet (and right now for the people don’t know how to use it effectively) an artist had to sit around, hoping some critic, patron, or gallery took a fancy to her work.

But now there are nearly two and a half BILLION people getting online every day according to this source. (http://www.internetworldstats.com/stats.htm).

Does that mean you can find an audience for your spider-web-inspired, splatter-painted greeting cards?

Yes.

Does that mean you can find an audience for your hand-painted, custom-fit, silicone mermaid tails?

Yes. (see https://themertailor.com/)

Does that mean you can find an audience for your  erotic zombies-in-space novels?

Yes.

Does it mean you can find an audience for your paintings of plates of fruit?

No.

Because everyone paints plates of fruit. It’s not authentic.

Now, if you are obsessed with fruit, and can show in new and unusual ways that you genuinely are obsessed with it, then you might find an audience. But most people know that an artist who is painting plates of fruit is an artist who doesn't know herself well. She doesn't know what really turns her on, lights her up, or makes her feel the deep and searing emotions we all long to feel.

So to find people who value your work, my dear, first find your voice. And that doesn't mean searching high and low. It simply means discarding everything that isn't authentic about yourself, and exploring what is really in your heart to explore.  Your voice is already inside you, but it’s often buried beneath layers of approval-seeking and fit-in thinking. (Hint, your “thing” is probably something you've been obsessed with since you were 14).

ARE YOU FEELING SCARED?

Afraid people will laugh at you, think you are immature, “too much,” “not enough,” boring, weird, insane, or otherwise judge you?

Well, those feelings of yours mean you are on the right track. Explore that place.

And people will judge you. But many, many more will love you. Your work will touch them deeply.

Start exploring your most authentic self as the first step to finding people who value your work.

 Take Action

Leave a comment below if this resonated with you, and if you have any questions about this post, I will be happy to answer them below.

Start exploring your most authentic self, make art from that place, and find people who value your work within a few short months.

 

Seriously, Why Isn't This a Bigger Deal?

I want to know: why is the Tour de France such a big deal in the cycling community and among sports fans all over the world, but the Race Across America is relatively unknown to the general global public?

Named by more than one media outlet as the the toughest sporting event in the world, Race Across America (RAAM) is one thousand miles longer than the Tour de France.

It's completed non-stop, with minimum breaks. It's generally completed in half the time.

Just like the in Tour de France, racers push themselves to their limits, but unlike the Tour, they aren't allowed to draft (ride behind each other) and there are no regulations on when they must stop and sleep.

It's an event that can savage an athlete like no other.

And my mommy is competing this year. Tomorrow I'll be flying from Tel Aviv to Fayetteville, NC, and from Fayetteville to Oceanside, CA after that.

There's bound to be drama, emotion, exhaustion, elation, and instagram photos of the three thousand mile bicycle ride across the country. I'll be there, crewing as part of the 3000 miles to a cure team for my mom, Maria Parker.

Part of my role is to help update the race fans all over the world, so I will make sure you get updates. However, I won't be updating Packing Lust for another two weeks (Charming might, but we aren't sure yet).

Therefore, please SIGN UP for race updates here if you want to hear about the highs and lows of the race. It's going to be the experience of a lifetime for Maria and the crew.

Here's Maria talking about her secret weapon - her Vendetta Cruzbike.

Along with crewing for the race, a small documentary film team and I will be shooting footage to continue the documentary begun by DAAM (Drive Across America) which you can see here:

In the above DAAM video, you'll meet Charlie and Tim, my wonderful cousins whose mom, my Aunt Jenny, was diagnosed with brain cancer.  I think they did an incredible job with the DAAM footage. They created amazingly clever, funny, and musical videos on their trip all across the country, which they recently completed to raise awareness for 3000 Miles to a Cure.

How To Be Magical

tumblr_m2iy21R51p1rsoxl4o1_1280-300x300
tumblr_m2iy21R51p1rsoxl4o1_1280-300x300

One of my first memories of magic was thanks to my grandfather, who I used to call Bill as a child because I couldn't pronounce his favorite nickname. When I was just a wee piglet (as Bill would say) I loved to visit my grandparents at their home near Lake Barcroft in Falls Church, Virginia. During these visits, my grandparents would often take me to my favorite beach on the lake — Beach Four. Sometimes Bill would take me by himself to the lake. He used these one-on-one times to teach me magic.

My Bill would set up elaborate (at least they seemed to then) treasure hunts by writing messages in the sand. The messages would lead me from the beach to the parking lot, to the lifeguard stand, to the water’s edge, and to a small patch of trees near by.

Towards the end of these treasure hunts, I would often need to find a magical leaf. I’d bring the most beautiful leaf I could find to Bill, and he would examine it closely, eventually finding the small magical text that only he could read because of his magical powers.

The leaf would say “Throw me up in the air, and wherever I land, dig a hole, for there you will find buried treasure.” I’d throw the leave up, and start digging in the sand with my little plastic shovel. I went to Bill. “There’s nothing there!”

“you have to keep digging,” he’d say. I kept digging.

Eventually, he would say “I think you need to go down to the water and rinse your shovel off.”

So I’d run down and rinse the shovel off, and when I’d come back, somehow, just covered in sand at the bottom of the hole, was a beautiful dollar coin or an amazing glass thumb marble with colorful swirls inside.

Of course, eventually I figured out his trick, but that doesn't take away the magical aura of those childhood memories.

Much later in life, when I became a fairy princess, I learned in great detail, exactly how to do magic tricks. It’s a lot of work. It’s involves rational thinking and spatial skills. It requires planning, study, the right tools and equipment, and a whole lot of confidence and flair. But almost nothing beat seeing the amazed expression on those kids faces, and knowing that I created memories for them that they will treasure just like I cherish my memory of Bill’s treasure hunts.

From this I am reminded that life  is about creating magical moments for other people, and appreciating the magic that other people bring to our life.

IT IS NO ONE’S RESPONSIBILITY OR DUTY TO CREATE THESE MOMENTS FOR US.

We must create them for ourselves and for each otherout of love. That’s why we are here.

 

The Often-Missed Secret to Connecting with Anyone

Illustration by Ida Rentoul OuthwaiteA very dear friend of mine, let’s call her “Saundra,” was devastated when she found out her husband was having an affair. After finding out, she spent the next year or so trying to decide if she should divorce him, or if it was possible to forgive him, and what that would mean for her life. Her many friends surrounded her with love and support, having many angry conversations about Saundra’s husband that included helping her to express her sense of rage and betrayal. Saundra’s best friend felt the most rage of all her friends, since she felt she’d been used as a pawn in the affair – as a way to keep Saundra out of the way while the affair continued. After many hours of counseling sessions, many months of separation, and many meetings with lawyers, a magical thing happened. Saundra and her husband began to fall back in love. They learned why the affair had happened, and they both took responsibility for it. He asked her forgiveness, and he began to gradually earn back her trust. They moved back in together, and now, year later, their marriage is stronger than it ever has been.

But remember Saundra’s best friend? She couldn’t understand how Saundra could ever love her husband after what had happened. Instead of accepting that Saundra could love and forgive her husband, Saundra’s best friend continued to speak with bitterness about him, and to avoid any conversation with him at social events. So Saundra lost her best friend, because this best friend missed the secret to connecting with anyone:

The secret:

LOVE WHO THEY LOVE.

It’s a key secret that many people miss when trying to connect. And when I say “connect” don’t worry, it’s not a piece of jargon like the word “network” or “leverage.” When I say connect, I mean another form of “love.”  As whole-hearted artists, we believe in love. We love our friends, and we love our customers, and we are always seeking to learn how we can love people more.

This secret is simple, isn’t it? Yet it’s a major reason why friendships break up. (I know more people than Saundra who have lost a bestie because their friend didn’t like the man they fell in love with.)

This secret works when trying to connect with people who can help your business. Find out who they love, and find a way to express that love, connection, and appreciation in an authentic way.

It works when speaking before an audience. Think about what’s important to the audience. Who do they love? What do they love?

IT’S VITAL WHEN CONNECTING TO YOUR CUSTOMERS.

Do they love leg warmers? Chai lattes? John Mayer?

If you can connect with the thing someone is especially tender about (like taking back a cheating husband) or the thing someone is a little embarrassed about (like an obsessive love for a cheesy movie) than you’ll have their love and loyalty forever.

What if you can’t love it?

So, what if you realize that someone you want to connect with loves legwarmers, and you HATE legwarmers?

Well, if you can’t love what they love, don’t fake it. Just take it down a notch. If you can’t love who or what they love, then accept who or what they love. Simply trust that there are good reasons to love what they love, and keep an open mind. At some point down the road, you might just find yourself rocking some legwarmers and loving it!

TAKE ACTION:

Leave a reply telling us who or what YOU love (and might be a bit embarrassed about.) Open up and let us connect with you!

AND FOR BONUS POINTS

Let us know about an area of your life where you had an “AHA!” breakthrough and see where you can “love who they love.”

Jotting down your comments helps every member of the Fairy Tale Life community learn and grow together. And that’s part of why we’re here, right? To help each other.

As always, thank you so much for being here. I truly value your presence, your heart, and your art.

Love_Genevievesmoothsmallerer

Jordan: Amman and Petra

Amman I was reminiscing recently about how fun our 2013 trip to Jordan was. Then I looked here on the blog and found nothing. I remember blogging the trip, so that means the post must have disappeared when I changed blogging platforms later that year. What a shame.

Here we are two years later on May 1, 2015. I'm going to backdate this to May 1, 2013 since I know our trip to Amman and Petra, Jordan happened around that time. It'll be interesting to see what details I remember (or misremember) two years later. I don't think I'll remember much so this post will mostly be photos taken by Prince Charming.

In some of the photos (like the one above taken in Amman) I appear to be bursting with Spring-induced ebullience. That was probably true, but it was also true that I'd recently been inspired by this photo series to dance in as many photographs as possible. Thus the leaping, the arabesques, and the generally whimsical feel of many of these pictures, like this one:

IMG_1234

We took this trip with Prince Charming's dear friend Eric:

IMG_1289

Charming mocks me while Eric politely refrains.

IMG_1212

Amman

One of the first places we went was the lovingly restored ancient Roman Amphitheater in Amman. Although it was built over 2000 years ago, the acoustics are so good you can hear everyone on the "stage" from the very top row. I remember that it was funny to sit in the seats and hear everything uttered by every tourist who wandered in the front entrance. We also tested the acoustics by reciting some Shakespeare. ("To be or not to be...")

IMG_1177 IMG_1216IMG_1213

Next we went to see some ruins. Hold a moment while I try to find out the name of the ruins.

Okay, got it. The area is called the Citadel. Wikipedia says:

The Amman Citadel is a national historic site at the center of downtown Amman, Jordan. Known in Arabic as Jabal al-Qal'a, (جبل القلعة), the L-shaped hill is one of the seven jabals that originally made up Amman. Evidence of occupation since the potteryNeolithic period[1] has been found, making it among the world's oldest continuously inhabited places.

The Citadel is considered an important site because it has had a long history of occupation by many great civilizations

IMG_1217 IMG_1238 IMG_1242 IMG_1296 IMG_1299 IMG_1305

Petra

After 1 or 2 days in Amman, we went to Petra for a day and a night. Wow. Two years later, that visit stands out as one of favorite my travel experiences of all time.

IMG_1335 IMG_1340 IMG_1344 IMG_1348 IMG_1358 IMG_1382 IMG_1388 IMG_1395 IMG_1450

IMG_1462 IMG_1467 IMG_1475 IMG_1481 IMG_1416IMG_1495 IMG_1508 IMG_1514 IMG_1555

IMG_1541IMG_1567

After the trip I went back to Ramallah, Palestine and Eric and Charming continued on together to visit Beirut, Lebanon.

Let's Talk About Making Money

Photo by Arwa Al ghamdi I totally hear your heart’s deepest concern about following your passion and doing what you love, creatively speaking.

You've told me in so many different ways what your main question is regarding your art:

Is it sustainable?

Can I make a living?

Can I make it work?

Can I do this full-time?

Can I succeed at this?

Can I support myself financially?

How do I make this profitable?

Will I have consistent income that I can actually live from?

Will I run out of clients or projects?

IT’S THE MONEY QUESTION.

I used to believe that when it came to the way we earn money, we had to pick something “realistic” or,  at least come down from the airy-fairy world and be “practical.”

Then I found out about a company full of professional fairy princesses. I was so excited, but wasn't sure if I had what it took to be one – or even if they had any job openings. A few weeks later, I found out this company had an opening. I interviewed and got the job. I worked for a year and a half as a professional fairy princess. This completely changed my outlook on careers. Many little girls dream of being a fairy princess, but that dream is soon squashed by adults around them who say dream-squashing things like “fairies are pretend.” Nope, not pretend. Real. Fairies are real and they are making real money. Not a bazillion dollars, but an actual, decent, fair wage.

Bottom line? If I can be a fairy princess, you can be anything you want… an artist, writer, painter, world-traveling acrobat, or whatever!

SO HOW DO YOU DO IT?

If I had to distill down the money stuff to one article, and give you specific focus points, (which I do, because I want you to have the best information possible) I would tell you  eight things:

1. Cultivate a number-neutral attitude. Whether you are thousands of dollars in debt, or have thousands in savings, the numbers are neutral, meaning they just are. They aren’t good or bad, and they aren’t positive or negative. They say nothing about who you are right now. They don’t mirror your character. Should I say that again? They don’t mirror your character! They don’t reflect who you are right now. Money has nothing to do with your true identity.

2. Cultivate a sense of abundance. If you have five dollars in your pocket,  appreciate it. Don’t confuse this with thinking the five dollars is part of your identity (see #2), but just be grateful for the five dollars. Being thankful is the KEY to cultivating a sense of abundance. Don’t just be grateful for  the money in your pocket, but ALL the abundance in your life. Perhaps you have an abundance of health, or an abundance or friends, or an abundance of canned corn in your kitchen. Whatever it is, you are rolling in it. YEAH!

3. Be open to your businesses looking different than you originally envisioned. The money-making spot is where your passions and strengths overlap with what the world needs. This is a big overlap space, with lots of room for all artists to make a living. However, the overlap might surprise you. If your community of buyers, clients, or customers looks different than you thought they would, be open and accepting of that, and embrace them. They are your people, even if you thought they would be different people. Love them.

4. Embrace help. Do you have an independent streak? So do I. It’s a huge gift, but also something to regard carefully and beware of in business. Success requires making requests of people, and the steps that grow your business significantly will involve seemingly mind-boggling acts of generosity from other people. For example, someone with a larger customer base might introduce your stuff to their customers. Your significant other might do the dishes a dozen times while you are studying your art. Your best friend might volunteer to provide snacks at your book launch party. Accept these as gifts. Thank them. You also give generously to others, which leads me to…

5. Give generously. Especially give to those you are tempted to view as your “competition.” Give appreciation, offer connections, and offer support. These folks are not your “competition,” they are your colleagues. This is called web-thinking or partnership thinking, and it requires an abundance mindset. The second group of people to give to are your customers and would-be customers. When you find those people who are willing to pay for what you have, treat them with the ultimate respect, love, and appreciation. Give them presents

6. Charge money! It’s your job to make it clear to people that you run a business. When pricing your stuff, find the sweet spot that seems and feels fair to your customers, but that involves a bit of a risk for you. Setting prices should be a little scary. You should ask for a little bit more than you think you can get. Then watch your business boom.

7. Remember that it’s not just about money! Focusing only on money will lead to burnout, and no body wants to be a burned-out artist. That job description usually involves long, sleepless nights, alcohol and drugs, and an early death. I believe in sustainable artistry. For an approach to your art that will keep you physically, emotionally, spiritually, AND financially healthy, follow my 12 Royal Rituals for Art and Income. (You get that info-drawing when you sign up for my free updates. Also, I write about the 12 Rituals constantly.)

TAKE ACTION:

Leave a comment telling us which of the 7 steps you would most like to focus on to grow your creativity business!

Jotting down your comments helps every member of this  community learn and grow together.

As always, thank you so much for being here. I truly value your presence, your heart, and your art.

Love_Genevievesmoothsmallerer

Bulldozer on the Beach

I almost decided not to write about this weekend's experience, because I've already complained so much about what it means to live under a military occupation, but I know you like to read about what goes wrong here. Otherwise, you'd get too jealous of me and my sweet life, right?So this weekend we decided to go to a new beach, one north of Tel Aviv. It was to be one of the first weekends of warm weather this year. And this time, we had a real, live Palestinian in the car.

Also, a real live Scot.

So with two Americans in the front, a Scottish lass named Kate, and a Palestinian habibti in the back, we set off for a beach we'd never been to called Herzaliya.

Now, normally, I'm prepared with my realism and slight cynicism about traveling to and fro between Palestine and Israel. It's always hard. We always get lost. There's always traffic. Checkpoints suck. Blah, blah, blah.

But lately, things have been easier. We've been making local friends who've helped us through the more difficult parts of life here. We sort of know where things are, and when we need to avoid certain checkpoints. It's about time, since we are just a few months away from the one year mark.

So as we rolled up to the checkpoint, I made a swaggering comment about how I'd bet money that the guard would just wave us through.  I was willing to put money on it. Seriously.

No ma'am. They asked for all our paperwork, and our Palestinian friend pulled out her I.D. and her special card from the UN giving her permission to enter Israel.

Holding our passports hostage, they told us to pull the car over, and open its cavities.

Then we had to get out, and put our bags through the x-ray machine. We had to pull out water bottles and for some reason, our Kindles had to get scanned multiple times.

Then they pulled aside our Palestinian friend to get her alone to interrogate her. In the end, they told her she couldn't pass through this checkpoint.

What was so frustrating for me is that I'm pretty good at negotiating with the teenagers who run the entry points to Israel.  (Yes, it helps that I'm a white American female.) I realize that negotiating with teenagers  is always a delicate and unpredictable process. And I'm aware that negotiating with teenagers who are CARRYING FIREARMS  is a delicate, unpredictable, and dangerous endeavor. However, I've done it before. with success and the help of an adorable puppy.

So I asked the soldiers what was up, and where our friend could get the information that said she couldn't pass. Turns out, she needed to find out from the  DCO (which stands for District Control Office or something) to find out which checkpoints she is able to pass through. At that point, I was thinking of trying the puppy method, which I'm pretty sure would have worked.

However, as I talked to the guards, the other members of my party were giving me "let's get out of here," looks, so I didn't continue to negotiate with the guards.  However, I think that, given another year of experience here, I will have the confidence to negotiate more effectively with the guards. It's all about confidence, whiteness, and having a few phone numbers of U.N. representatives in one's pocket. We seriously needed to get to the beach, and I was and will be willing to negotiate with armed and brainwashed teenagers both now and in the future.

But the story doesn’t end there. We turned around and drove maybe three more hours, getting lost and irritated as our planned time in the sun dwindled. We finally made it to another checkpoint where we had to get out again, and went through the same x-ray process, right down to having to scan our Kindles twice.

This time, they let all of us through.

But then we got lost again. Charming simply gave up, his foot cramping from driving so long. Our normally bubbly and outgoing Palestinian friend felt so humiliated that she stopped talking. That left me and Kate to figure out how to get to the beach. We pulled over, and thankfully, Kate offered to ask some nearby people for help.

They gave us directions, which matched Charming's suddenly operating phone GPS directions.

We finally made it to Herzeliya beach, with just a few hours left to enjoy.

But we did enjoy them, filling up on sushi overlooking a marina.

 6377470_orig
Then we met more friends (who'd come from a different direction and arrived hours before us) and settled in on the beach.But, I kid you not, just moments after settling in, a huge bulldozer came over in front of me and started creating a pile of sand that blocked my view of the water.

Seriously.

This was a huge beach, and the bulldozer was just a few feet away. You can see from my body language  how pissed off I am.

(Charming has decided to appear photographically on this blog. I'm so happy! This is a rather mundane photo for him to be making his first appearance in, but I'll try to add more shots that show his good looks later.)

3700913_orig
If this had been an American beach, they would've been handing out hard hats.If this had been an American beach, they would've done the beach improvement work at 5 am when no one was there, instead of the middle of a Sunday afternoon.

But this was Israel, where if someone wants to plant a pole on the beach on Sunday afternoon, they are going to do it.

6241280_orig
 
And they told us it would take  5 minutes.  Of course It took 30, and made me feel personally in danger of being squooshed by a giant wooden pole.By this point, the day was just hilarious. There was nothing to do but laugh.

And fly a kite.

 2864393_orig
I'm dancing, because after seeing this project, I decided I would dance in all future posed photos of me.Thanks Charming, Kate, and our dear Palestinian friend for contributing to a wonderful horrible adventure day. Seriously, life is so funny and crazy and wonderful.

7745732_orig
P.S. All photos in this post are by Kate Aykroyd. Thank you Kate!

4 Ways to Avoid Being Hoodwinked

Prince Charming and I visited Greece as part of our 2012 honeymoon. Our taxi driver from the Athens airport to our hotel near the Acropolis was named Giorji. He was so cool he even did a magic trick for us. After de-planing, we’d  withdrawn cash from the ATM. 200 Euros. The problem was, the machine gave us four 50 Euro bills. When we arrived, we wanted to give the taxi driver a tip, although our grand total on the meter was almost exactly 50 Euros. Charming handed over a 50, and we began whispering about the need for a tip and to check our bags for spare change. Well, sometime between handing the fifty Euro bill to Giorgi and his hand receiving it, it turned into a ten! Amazing! He held it out for us, embarrassed-looking. “This is a ten,” he said, his expression that of an indulgent parent who has caught his child making a mistake on their homework.

Well, we knew we hadn't given him a ten. In fact, our whole problem of the moment was that we didn't have any small bills. We politely thanked him for his display of magic and left the car.

Just kidding. When we refused to give him more money, he said “are you sure?” and accepted our “ten,” possibly cursing us under his breath. Shaken and distressed at Giorgi’s attempt to rip us off so convincingly, we got out of the car, breathless and eager to put some distance between him and us.  Later, we found out it should have been a flat rate of 35 Euros from the airport. He wasn't even supposed to use his meter.

It’s a common fear — worrying about being conned, hoodwinked, bilked, ripped off, or scammed. Especially as we build our creative businesses. There are so many services and products being dangled before us, promising to help teach us more about our art, or to give us the skills to sell it more effectively and profitably.

HERE ARE 4 WAYS TO STEER CLEAR OF HOODWINKERS:

  1. Be familiar with your money.

Know how much you have, and where it’s going. We did this in the taxi in Greece, and it saved us from getting totally scammed.

  1. Be extremely wary of anyone promising instant solutions – especially those that require a recurring monthly payment.

Google the heavens out of them. Google their name or business together with the word “scam” and see what comes up. Make sure they have a return or refund policy you can live with. See if there’s a way you can get to know their products or services for free. That leads me to…

  1. Get their stuff for free.

In the services industry, most true experts have a desire to see people succeed, and will give away a lot of their stuff for free. I do this. It gives you time to get to know me, and know that what I have to offer is helpful and valuable. You can decide to work with me or not, but either way, I want to see you succeed. That’s why I share so much free expertise.

For other, non-training based businesses, look for free trials and return policies that include shipping for physical products.

  1. Let go.

If you have a run-in or a close encounter with a scammer, here’s how to let it go. Don’t try to forget it happened, or downplay how violating it can feel. Just take a deep breath, and feel your present-moment emotions.  Let the emotions naturally pass. Talk about it with a friend. Then put yourself in the scammer’s shoes to cultivate compassion. Their life must be full of hardship, pain.

 

TAKE ACTION:

Is there a time when you were scammed or almost scammed? How did you avoid it, or what lesson did you learn?

Please share your story n the comments section below.  This can really help every member of this community to learn how to deal with the hoodwinkers of the world.

As always, thank you so much for being here. I truly value your presence, your heart, and your art.

Love_Genevievesmoothsmallerer

The Moving Story

Meet Our New House

I'm writing this from my new desk in a room I painted blue with a white heart on the wall. In front of me is a window looking out in onto a veranda where I can see Jelly with her paws up on the ledge, looking down at the street from our second-story view.

We are in Ramallah. Prince Charming and I were so sure we were going to move to Jerusalem, that I almost posted that a while back. Instead, I opted for "seriously considering." Which we very much were.

But then a funny set of circumstances happened. Right as we were making the decision to up and leave Ramallah, seeking what I referred to as a "cleavage neighborhood" (defined as: 1. A place where, if one wanted too, one wouldn't be stared at/harassed/spat on if the division between one's breast were to show above the neckline of one's shirt 2) a place in the crack/seam between Israel and Palestine because we can't live in Israel proper for professional/political/ethical reasons), we met friends.

Specifically, I met a friend on the day my other friend told me she was leaving the country for good. I sat at a cafe with this other friend, sort of sad, and wanting to order a drink. The menu at this cafe had all sorts of yummy cocktails on it, one of which I ordered. I really wanted it, but the server said they were out of whatever it was they needed to make it. "Well, what DO you have?" I said as bitchily as I could, thinking Of course. No cafe in Palestine ever actually has what they advertise on the menu. "Any of the other ones," the waiter said. "Why don't you just tell me what you actually have so you don't have to keep checking," I said, or some such. He wandered off, and shortly, a tall, energetic American with long curly hair and multiple piercings bounded over and sat down with us. "Can I help you?" she asked, pointing at the cocktail menu. And that was how I met Morgan, who is married to the Palestinian who owns the cafe, and who has lived in Palestine for about 9 years.

Morgan giving her car a drink.

After what my mom aptly called a "whirlwind romance" of a friendship, that included hiking, discovering a shared love for rescuing dogs, DIY, organic food, Pinterest, and puppets, among many other things, and discovering our husbands' shared love for planning projects that they may or may not follow up on including cheese-making and beer-making, we decided to move in with them. Or, more precisely, to move in above the cafe they run and live behind.

We are happy because Jelly now has a garden to run around in, and other doggie friends. However, I think it was the chickens with their daily fresh eggs that did us in. Or the fresh lemons and grapes from the orchard outside could have tied the knot. Or maybe their organic garden of fresh greens and the Vitamix blender that came with the apartment allowing me to make a green smoothie this morning from these ingredients:

There were also stinging nettles... my first time making a smoothie with those.

Prince Charming would vote that it's the endlessly flowing cheeseburgers (best in town) & Guinness downstairs. What I really like about this place is that it's right next to the city center, so I can walk to the market, yoga, and dance class without getting into a smelly cab.

Finally, I got to paint it those bright colors I love, y'all. Enough words, it's time to show you some before and afters.

Kitchen: Before

 

Kitchen: After

Before: Guest bedroom/office

After: Guest bedroom/office

After: Guest bedroom/office

Before: Master Bedroom

After: Master Bedroom

Vignette: Master Bedroom

Jelly can now spend her days spying on the neighbors and writing lurid soap operas based on what she sees.

I did a lot of the painting, but I wasn't the only one painting and doing the mountain of work required to make the place polished. Morgan and her husband and dad, the carpenters, as well as my Prince Charming and another friend did a whole lotta work. And the work continues. We are decorating it using cast-off furniture from a carpenter's pile of extras, some new stuff, and a whole lotta DIY creations.

Now you know why I haven't blogged for a month. Whew! I can't believe we are actually in. Last night was our first night in the place, and it was a good one. I'm feeling so grateful and happy.

Jaffa Flea Market

6634730_orig

And Art in Tel Aviv

The ever-charming Charming did all the planning for a little surprise Valentine's getaway this weekend to a cottage (sounds better than a one-room concrete slab house) just one block away from the BEACH in Tel Aviv! He sure knows how to win my heart. There are no photos to prove it, but I did a February swim. It was invigorating and refreshing and freezing cold.We've been to Tel Aviv before, but I forgot to tell you that the city's full name is Tel Aviv-Jaffa, because the old city of Jaffa was there before they built Tel Aviv. It's just south of what is Tel Aviv proper. Jaffa was and is home to many Arabs, and this means  that Tel Aviv in its entirety is fairly well integrated. Tel Aviv-Jaffa, as I've raved before, is art and fashion friendly. I suspect it's also the only place in the Middle East where an Arab boy or girl could openly choose to love whoever they want to love. All this freedom attracts people who like freedom, and from what I've seen in my travels, that often means artists. Everyone in Tel Aviv has an eye, even the graffiti artists.

9882835_origWe made it to the Tel Aviv Museum of Art, and saw some Picasso, Renoir, a Monet, and an Israeli artist whose name I've already forgotten and who I don't think will go down in history. I got inspired, as I always to in musems, to make more art.

Although the museum was modern and beautiful (and had a lightfall, whatever that is), my favorite arty experience was visiting the Jaffa Flea Market and seeing the  pop art that is the collections of flotsam,  collectibles, trinkets, and old shoes that fill the market.Here's one corner of the Jaffa market.

8325571_orig
What's that? You want a closer look?
 7174075_orig
Oh, not the unicorn? You were perhaps more interested in seeing a monkey getting cozy with a giant banana? I'll do my best:
8325571_origInside that shop:
 8969668_orig
5225829_orig
After the bizarre figurine store, I started noticing figurines and street art around town.
 6478074_orig
6634730_orig
5242737_orig

The trip was musically completed by a trip to the cinema to see Les Miserables.  It made me SO happy, despite the saddest song in the whole thing ringing through my head these past couple of days ("So different from this hell I'm living!"). Charming and I have been taking turns singing "But the tigers come at night." Sometimes I can hit that low note. Or pretend too.  Anne Hathaway worked so hard! And they gave her most of the beginning of the movie, which probably should have been edited down, but I'm so glad they didn't.Anyway, that whole Lay Miz tangent was so I could tell you about the bathroom mirrors in the mall curled around the cinema. Are they doing this in the U.S. now?

 8819647_orig

Looks like a normal mirror. But it's a surface for advertizing.Genevieve's vanity: Sponsored by oscillococcinum. (I had to wikipedia it. A homeopathic treatment for the flu derived from duck liver and heart.)

 8171499_orig

So you're supposed to look in the mirror, and be like "Dang. I look ________________. Yeah, I need some duck liver."Then the screen fills with the image, but you can still sort of see yourself through a haze of duck liver product.

Offal good fun,

Genevieve

Packing for Gaza - or Someplace You Visit Frequently

Today's guest post comes to us from my Prince Charming, who generously offered up this advice after I generously complimented his speedy (ten minute) packing for a trip to Gaza. Considering it still takes me an hour to pack, I was impressed. He makes this trip to Gaza so frequently because he has a lot of work to do in the Gaza office of his organization; he sort of lives there for a few days every couple of weeks. This information will be helpful to you if you:

a) Often travel to the Gaza Strip. b) Often travel to any one location (for example, you travel to your sister's house every couple of weeks to accompany her to medical appointments). c) Are a minimalist international (or national) traveler.

How to Pack for a Split Life in Gaza

5306626By Prince Charming

For a visit every two-three weeks, when you start traveling each time you come, bring at least one or two items you can leave behind. The things you leave behind should be

  • toiletries
  • a pair of jeans
  • a clean white t-shirt
  • pajamas
  • flip-flops or slippers
  • a hat
  • a sweater
  • extra socks
  • underwear

 

If you arrived as a minimalist and only have one of each of these things, slowly acquire cheap extras as you build up your Gaza closet. In an ideal world, if you will have lots of important meetings, it is good to leave a sports jacket or suit behind as well as a tie or two, one tone no fancy design, in blue, yellow, or red.

I brought in an extra flashlight, travel alarm clock, and two pictures of my wife (can I get a collective "awww" says Genevieve) for my bed stand.

Once you’ve got a basic after-work attire settled there, all you need to bring in is work attire. I usually stay 2 – 3 days at a time.

My usual clothes packing list is:

  • 2 pair khakis
  • 2 -3 pair socks and underwear (enough to leave at least one clean pair of each behind for the next visit)
  • 2 t-shirts, exchange with the last one you left behind
  • 1 Work sweater if winter
  • 1 – 2 long sleeve knit shirts or button down depending on weather
  • 1 jacket, casual if no special meetings planned
  • 1 pair of shorts if summer

In the event that I have to stay longer than three days, there is a washing machine available.

I also bring:

  • dual-sim card cell phone (to cover the trip from Palestine-Israel-Palestine,)
  • Kindle
  • travel umbrella if looking like rain
  • reading glasses
  • a snack
  • R2-D2 (a small good luck token - see above photo)
  • my work laptop
  • phone charger or mini-usb cable for phone charging on laptop

I usually bring a phone charger, but that is only because I’ve been too lazy to pick one up in Gaza. An even easier approach is to bring a mini-usb cable and charge the phone through my laptop. A travel speaker such as our Jawbone is good if going for a longer visit. I take the projector from my office and use it with my laptop and speaker to watch movies in the evening.

Of course, you can assess the local market and buy within Gaza as needed too if you don’t want to shuttle items back and forth. I bought a chess set and cards locally for the guesthouse in case anyone else is staying aside from me and wants to play a match. You can get a pocket knife locally as well; don’t bring one across the border, and don’t bring any spirits either.

Having done this, it now takes me ten minutes to pack for Gaza and for a while I was leaving with less than what I brought it.

Let's do Jelly Shots

And Chocolate Cake

This weekend was filled with simple pleasures. I baked a chocolate olive oil cake. I recently read in a book called Deep Nutrition that most vegetable oils, such as canola, destabilize quickly after production, making them a little bit toxic for human consumption. According to the book, olive oil stays stable for longer, and is therefore much healthier than canola. I was happy to find a recipe with olive oil in it because I was craving chocolate cake and we are practically floating in olive oil here. In fact, a walk around town is marked by vendors, mostly elderly ladies, selling their own homemade olive oil in repurposed containers. We currently have this Sprite bottle filled with aromatic local olive oil.

1

I used some of it to make my cake.

2

Jelly was very interested in the cake.

It was a deeply chocolaty recipe that used almond flour as well as regular flour, so it was nutty, dense, and slightly fruity with the olive oil. I served it with a whipped yogurt coconut topping.

4

When I eat something really sugary, I try to eat it with yogurt, since otherwise the sugar upsets my internal balance of flora and fauna resulting in infections. The yogurt provides pro-biotics that restore balance to keep everything healthy. The yogurt also provides protein so I feel more stable and don't get the sugar high/crash affect. We all know refined sugar is unhealthy for SO many of our body's systems, but if you love it and eat it once in a while, it's nice to know how to keep your body from freaking out from it.

Anyway. Let's move on to Jelly shots. I had a request from Natalie for more Jelly shots, so since I'm sure she's not alone in her desires, I'm providing more cute doggie photos right here. This is Jelly's favorite spot in our house. As you can see, she's a very smart girl:

5

She's a bit camera shy, so it's hard to get a photo of her holding still, but I did manage to capture her with her ears sort of up this morning by singing. When I sing to her, she gives me this quizzical expression, twisting her head side to side to figure out what is going on.

6

Everyone who meets Jelly says "she's so skinny!" which is true, but which also makes me feel like I'm not feeding her enough. For your information, she eats a lot. She eats more than my parents' dog who is twice her size. I think she's just a naturally skinny breed. She's extremely agile, alert, and quick on her feet, and this attentiveness must burn a lot of calories.

Jelly at Mulberry Springs

This weekend, and last weekend, we took Jelly to a place we drove by called Mulberry Springs. It's just off the road that is for the District Control Office (Reserved for Israeli military, NGO workers, and whoever else the soldiers decide to let pass). Last weekend Jelly got to romp and play off the leash while we hiked up the large hills that surround a creek bed. Jelly was hoping to get to play off the leash this weekend too.

We were thankful for beautiful weather, a rare thing, thus far this winter season in Palestine.

7

When we got out of the car this time, the first thing we noticed was a large flock of sheep on the next hill over (I didn't get a photo). The second thing we noticed was the way Jelly's vomit had decorated the side of the car when she puked with her head out the window while we were driving.

I was ready to run. I started jogging, hoping that Jelly would keep up like she did last time. I leapt over the creek, but she lagged back, look fearful. It was then that I saw the large dogs guarding the flock of sheep. I'll just run right by them, I thought. I would have to run the trail under them, but then I would pass them and go up another nearby hill. Jelly uncharacteristically hung back. When I got almost directly under the flock of sheep, I heard and saw the three large, furry dogs barking at me. I stopped and stared at them, trying a) to gauge how easily they'd be able to come down from the very steep hill they were on and b) to not act like prey on the Discovery Channel. My stopping was all they needed. They began charging down the hill, taking a small switchback trail I had not seen before. I considered running, but knew I was outmatched for speed. Just when I was preparing my most aggressive fighting stance, they got to the bottom of the hill and raced towards Jelly, back at the creek picnic site with Prince Charming. I felt instantly relieved, and then my protective instincts kicked in, and I ran after the dogs. I watched as Prince Charming, backed my Jelly, barked fiercely at them. They came to a screeching halt and ran away, up the creek bed.

I tried again. I ran the same path with Jelly cowering on the leash next to me and with a tube of powerful pepper spray in my right hand. This time when we passed the dogs and they started barking, I simply barked back. They let us pass. Jelly and I were rewarded with a glorious run up, up, up the long hill to a patch of green (green!) grass and blue sky at the top of a hill. I lay down on the soft grass and for the first time in Palestine, felt completely safe outdoors. There was no one around. I couldn't see any soldiers or military towers or security walls. Just me, the grass, the sky, and my fierce guard dog Jelly.

Later I working on training Jelly and tried to grab a few more Jelly shots. Here's her "sit" almost wiggling off the camera:

8

And here's her "down." Good dog.

9

Hebron

Occupation Among Us

Charming and I visited Hebron last month, on December 8, 2012 with two of his co-workers: Birlam and Osama. Osama is the merry guy you'll recognize from my Gaza post. Birlam is equally merry, and together Birlam and Osama had a joking cameraderie that was fun to be around and put me at ease with these two.

1

This ease was in spite of our location, which, along with Nablus is one of the most traditional cities in the West Bank with strong anti-Israel sentiment.

There's a history of bloodshed on both sides. The Saturday we were there, and most days, the occupants, both Israeli and Palestinians, seemed to coexist, ignoring each other like cows of different colors locked in the same field. However, for a newcomer like me, the situation was shocking. The settlements divide the city, displaying a microcosm of what's going on in the whole area. The drama is played out street by street.

A local group was trying to make a clear point about where we were:

2

We walked through the old city, near what used to be the main street, called Shuhada Street. Shuhada Street was shut down by the Israeli army in 1994 to car traffic, and later, to foot traffic. The economic heart of the city was lost, with 570 Palestinian shops shutting down, and many residents moving out.

It looked like the same group with the red paint was at work again.

3

We emerged into a square - the center of Hebron. Ahead were Israeli soldiers guarding a settlement entrance.

4

To our left was a large stone structure, topped by a fence and what appeared to be some male Israeli settlers. They looked down at us, who were obviously tourists, and blew kisses. I took a photo and they instantly went from kiss-blowing to finger-wagging.

5

Walking more, we saw a street that was literally divided, with a large portion open for Israeli cars, and a side portion open for Palestinian pedestrians. The Israeli army was providing security to a small group of settlers who appeared to be on a tour. As one settler joined the group, he marched down the center of the road, flanked by solders. He stood out in civilian clothes next to the soldiers, and he held an assault rifle in front of him. I wanted to take a photo, but chickened out because we were too close to him. And he had a gun.

After that, we circled back through the portions of the market that remain open. I was eager to see the famous netting that protects the open-air market from the settlers who live in buildings that tower over the market. This netting protects them from the trash that settlers have been reported to throw down on them. I didn't see anyone throwing anything, but we were there on Shabbat, the Jewish holy day of rest.

6

After the market walk, during which we momentarily and unseriously considered purchasing a Santa Claus Argila...

7

...We went out for a meal and argila with Birlam and Osama.

8

The whole day, Osama was teasing Birlam about her thick fleece pants. I admired them; they were embroidered with colorful flowers and looked like a smart choice for a cold day. But like a playful younger brother, Osama kept teasing her, calling her pants "pajama pants." He kept finding moments to make reference to the fact that she was in her pajamas. She laughed along good-naturedly. Birlam heads up the regional office in Hebron, and her large extended family has great esteem in the city. Everywhere we went people greeted her with respect, and she greeted them with a friendly word. Later in the day, after another jab about her "pajama pants," Osama said "Well, I better be careful. With one phone call you could have me killed." Birlam grinned.

"Forget the phone call. With one word. My relatives are everywhere."

I asked Charming about the fact that Birlam seemed so, well, happy, compared to what I perceive as the busy, worried, and nonpublic lives of women in Palestine. He responded that she was well-connected, respected, had a good job, didn't take any bull****, and was not married. So my interpretation is that by not being married in this culture, she was able to keep her sense of independence and self-determination. On the not taking any bull**** front, she told us a story about driving in traffic. Someone cut her off, thinking, she said, "that he could because she was a woman." Well, she jumped out of her car and started yelling at him, and soon had him apologizing upside down and sideways.

Oh, I almost forgot one of the most sense-stimulating parts of the day, which was a visit to the Hebron Kefiya factory. Our tour guides said it was the only Kefiya factory in Palestine.

9

I chose a few Kafiyas for gifts for my upcoming trip to NC to see the family (you can see photos of them in Kafiya's here).

And that is what I remember from a full day in Hebron back in December. Hope you enjoyed it! Please leave a comment below; I love reading your comments.

2012 In Review

2012 In Review

love-wins.jpg

arch love bw 2012 was the year that love won.

I'm writing this post in January 2014, but I plan to backdate it to January 2013. I wrote it so belatedly because the idea to write a year in review only came to me after 2013. Once I wrote that year's review post, I thought it would be fitting to write one for 2012. I think the distance will probably lend a slightly different tone to my recollections.

2012 was such a rich year that I created a memory book, similar to a scrapbook, and something I hadn't done in years.

I didn't start Packing Lust until June 2012, so I'll have to sum up the first five months of the year without the help of this blog.  Due to some date mix-ups during the transfer of my blog from Weebly to Wordpress, I'm not sure which was my first official post in June. Was it this one about my pre-adventure giddiness?

But before we get into what I was blogging about, let's backtrack and cover those exciting first 5 months of 2012, when I married the love of my life, twice.

January

I started off the month with annual get together of some of my oldest college friends in Raleigh, North Carolina. We sat around in our PJ's, snacking, laughing, and lavishing each other with handmade gifts. Julie arranged a bridal gown shopping trip for me at a nearby boutique, and I had a great time trying on gowns that cost thousands of dollars. If I remember correctly, I had already purchased the gown that I would get married in for $50 from a discount shop called JR's.  After wedding dress shopping, we ate cupcakes at The Cupcake Shop in downtown Raleigh.

February

I remember a day  in February when Charming called me outside our apartment for help unloading the groceries. When I emerged, he pressed play on the music player in his car and blasted one of my favorite songs out the windows What a Wonderful Life/Somewhere over the Rainbow by IZ. He got out and started dancing with me, and the beautiful West Hollywood sky above took on a new beauty, the palms bursting like stars into the blue.  I felt so grateful to be with him on a beautiful day in February. That memory reminds me of the romance of our engagement. He'd asked me to marry him during an early morning hike in November, 2011- completely surprising me with a proposal out in nature.

That day in February, it felt like we had finally won. We had won each other and we'd won our joy. When we started dating, some of my close friends and mentors had communicated their disappointment and disapproval,   all because Charming and I don't share the same spiritual beliefs. The lack of support among some of my friends made me doubt the romance.  All this difficulty was something I didn't expect or dream I would encounter at the same time as I was falling in love. Thankfully, we both had our family's support. I doubt we could have moved forward as smoothly as we did without that.  I also had a few friends who were supportive the whole way through. And I made new friends who supported my interfaith relationship and the influence Charming had on me. And some of my Christian friends were growing in the same direction as I was - toward a more progressive, tolerant faith - and that helped tremendously, and still does. But the sifting process - trying to separate the helpful advice from the harmful advice - was exhausting. It felt like a test. Would I listen to my heart or did I believe my heart was "deceitful above all things," like some of my Christians friends would've quoted from Jeremiah 17:9?  I knew that I could trust my heart on this matter. My Prince Charming is a good man, and his love is the greatest gift I have ever received. My heart was right.

That February night, we hosted a Valentine's Celebration of Love and Friendship. Our friends dressed in pink and red, and we gave away some of our possessions, lightening our load in preparation for living abroad. We laughed with our friends and celebrated our community in Los Angeles.

 

March

I felt completely spoiled in March. My mom and sister flew out to LA and treated me to an amazing spa day. My sister organized one heavenly bachelorette party.

April

We got married! I walked down the "aisle" - the dirt path to the cliff's edge where we got married - to that song we danced to in February. Somewhere Over the Rainbow. I wore the $50 dress I bought with my mom on the trip to JRs.

Charming and I were and are so thankful to our friends and family who attended both of our weddings and provided so much love on our celebration days.

wedding 1

In May my family threw us another wedding, one that was easier for all our East Coast friends and family to attend. It was a sparkling, rustic, elegant affair held in a reclaimed historic building that used to be a mule barn (that sounds odd, but I promise, it's beautiful.) The evening was travel-themed, with cake in the shape of a suitcase, and vintage style maps on the walls.

wedding2

 

Later that month, I proudly watched as my brother graduated from the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs.  President Obama shook his hand for a job well done!

Bro and POTUS

 

 

And that brings us up to June! I moved to Palestine, following Charming who'd already been there for several weeks getting adjusted to his new job. June and July were adjustment months of figuring out how things worked in a third world country.  We traveled up to Akko, and out to Taybeh in July, and I spent my birthday with Charming at a Dead Sea resort.

August

August brought a joyful trip to Tel Aviv, which was very welcome since it was a summer of adjustment blues. We also went to Egypt, where we saw our first Pyramids and I rode my first camel.

7090326_orig

September was honeymoon month. Not that I was feeling travel deprived,  but it was so nice to lounge around someplace that wasn't third world or a conflict zone. More than that, the sunsets! The seafood! The jumping off boats!

In Santorini, you can fly.

If you're wondering why Charming doesn't appear in these early Packing Lust photos, it was for his privacy. We lifted the ban on Charming's face appearing here in 2013.

In October, I traveled to England to visit my dear friend Caroline and to help her move from Norwich to London.  Sadly, this was also the month when my Aunt Jenny was diagnosed with brain cancer.

Mom and Aunt Jenny (in pink).

In November, we rescued an adorable puppy we named Jelly Bean. She became a permanent member of our family. A short time later, another puppy showed up on our doorstep and I went through quite a lot to help her get Israeli puppyship so that she could have access to doggie rights like health care and the chip.

8079012_orig

December

The last month of 2012 was very full. I took my first trips to Gaza City (I'm sorry - my Gaza post seems to have disappeared!) and Hebron, two cities in Palestine particularly ruptured by the occupation. We spent Christmas Eve at Manger Square in Bethlehem. Charming's birthday we celebrated in Tel Aviv.

Packing Advice

I managed to pack in plenty of my own packing angst, along with what hopefully amounted to some helpful guidance for other travelers.

Packing Solutions for Easy Jet's One Bag Rule

My Fashion Guidelines for Minimalist Packing

A Post about Minimalist Makeup

Underoos and Everything - My Complete List

A Decent Travel the World Indefinitely Working List

 

What I Learned

What a year! It was a rich, full, beautiful year of adventures. My big lesson this year was learning to really listen to my heart so that love can win. It's a lesson I'm still working on, a constant challenge I'm glad to embrace!

May love always win,

Genevieve

 

 

Sun and Snow

I'll be flying back to Israel tomorrow, so I'm posting a day early and with a short and sweet self-congratulatory weather post.I returned from visiting family in Florida on Saturday. Florida (the Melbourne area) was warm, sunny, and beautiful. My aunt treated me to a massage and a trip to a hair salon. Thanks Aunt Kelly! Mostly, I just had a wonderful time visiting with my grandparents and aunt and uncle, walking on the beach, and sipping green smoothies poolside on the lanai.
2449733_orig
Meanwhile, back in Ramallah, poor Prince Charming was stuck at home while it looked like this outside.
 7211910_orig
6975519_orig
Before we moved to the area, we heard that it almost never snows there. Well, apparently this is one of the worst winters to hit in a long time. There was also a windstorm so strong it blew out windows in Charming's office building.  That's what I'm headed back to tomorrow.  It's going to be a lot different than:
 423130_orig
But of course it's all worth it to be reunited with my man. By the time most of you read this, I'll be in the air, so send some good thoughts my way for smooth and worry-free travels. The trip will involve: 1 rental car,  three airplanes, a bus or two, and either a taxi or company car depending on what's available for Charming to pick me up in.Drop a line in the comments below to tell me about the weather in your part of the world. It seems like it's unusual in a lot of places right now.